Verbal humiliation of a male switch - practical concerns

[leah06]

Another thread has been posted by a female sub looking for advice on how to satisfy her partner's desire to be humiliated. I have a similar situation - a male switch who wants verbal humiliation. The other sub has been referred to several threads on the subject of humiliation. I have read them and find that they are not helpful specifically for humiliating language directed at a man who has no desire to be "feminized." I would appreciate any specific suggestions.

His desire does not resonate with me, so I can't consult my intuitions, but, as my grandmother used to say (in a different context, one supposes), "If he's happy, I'm happy."

Thanks for your help.

[WyldWyl]

I'd recommend you look up Flesh_Seraph's thread on the psychology of humiliation. Whilst it's not aimed at males, it's still a good basis for forming ideas.

Other than that, if he has no desire to be feminised, you can still make denigrating comments about his masculinity with no explicit suggestion that he's effeminate- reduction to an agendered state can be just as humiliating.

Or find some other angle to attack him from- for example, if he prides himself on maturity and independence, humiliate him by reducing him to a childish level, or for being unable to control his arousal in your presence. Humiliation is deeply personal, because it requires knowing what your sub's buttons are in order to press them, but finding out is surely half the fun.

Good luck!

[leah06]

Thanks so much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I have read Flesh Seraph's excellent treatise, but most of it is too hard-core for me or for my partner. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be rocked to the core of his being, just to hear some erotically charged denigrating language. I'm frustrated because a lot of the language that falls into that category for women is what you might consider "hypersexualizing" - slut, whore, cunt, etc. - and it can be humilating but also sexually empowering to hear or utter those words. What I'm not finding is parallel language for men, because of course in our society it is not humiliating to hypersexualize men.

I agree with you that desexualizing language can be very humiliating directed at a man. I guess I had shied away from that because it seems so, you know, rude. I am totally not cut out for this - but I'm going to put on my boots and give it a try anyway. Thanks again for your help.

[Ozme52]

I just read this quite delightful introduction. I think it may help, brief though it is... ;)

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18097

Maybe you can wangle an intro to his domme.

[WyldWyl]

That is just wonderful- very simple, very elegant, something I'd done myself and completely forgotten to bring up.

It can work wonders.

[leah06]

This is charming and fits what I think both of us are comfortable with. Thank you so much.