Are people really super turned on my BDSM acts?

[bambina]

...Or are they just fun? I think there was a thread about this already but I can't find it. So sorry for re-posting.

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex. I've actually never asked this question. No one has said whether or not it's fun or if it drives them bananas. Sure everyone here might enjoy some things. But is it truly a turn on or just something kinky to do before the main event?

I'm not talking about fetishes that directly stimulate sexual organs (like breasts, crotches, etc...). I'm talking about fetishes that are just fetishes and do not provide direct stimulation. Some guys like to walk about in women's clothes. But do people actually cum from that? Some women like to be spanked. But do spankings make them have an orgasm?

"Oh my god. Oh yes this latex is so hot. Soooo hot. Oh yeah I'm going to cum. I'm gonna cum!"

The reason I ask is because, I see fetish acts like spanking and bondage and dressing up as fun things that are separate from sex. I'm not turned on or wet. I'm just having fun dressing up like a little girl for a guy. Does that mean that I don't have true fetishes and that I don't belong in this lifestyle just because I'm not turned on by sadistic things?

[denuseri]

Different strokes (swoosh smack! OWW omg thanku sir) for different folks.

As with all things the degree of excitement is going to vary from individual to individual.

I am not a pain slut per say, but i have indeed achieved orgasm before from a properly applied spanking to my anus and cunt. I have also just came before due to the situation i was in while bound etc without outside stimulation (before i was conditioned to orgasm on command).

I am sure this effect is unique to every individual, yet i am certian i am not the only one thats had an orgasm from thier fettish before eaither.

[hopperboo]

...Or are they just fun?

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex.

Some women like to be spanked. But do spankings make them have an orgasm?

I'm not turned on or wet.
The idea of being held down, or tied down for me is a huge turn on.

And the idea of spanking (among other things) is a HUGE turn on too.


Fun? Yes, I think it would be that too, but I'd also want times when it wasn't so 'light hearted.' If that makes any sense.

I haven't experienced any of these, but just from reading alone...I can say yes, it's a turn on for me. I hope that r/t can be just as - and hopefully more - exhilarating.

[Flaming_Redhead]

I don't cum simply from being tied up or spanked. Hell, for me, cumming is never simple. *lol* However, I am turned on by domination, fear, humiliation, and pain. It doesn't even have to be "fun" for my juices to start flowing.

You might just be a kinkster, and there's nothing wrong with that. People do some of these things for fun and to spice up their sex life, like my best friend. People like me do it because "normal" sexual activities are not very arousing. Too many times in a row of regular ol' sex without a spanking or some other such activity will result in my inability to cum or even to get wet or stay wet. In fact, I'll get distracted and start thinking of something else, wishing it would hurry up and be over.

[MissConfused]

bambina my husband has no interest in BDSM so I am forced to perform self bondage
YES I masturbate and cum everytime

The one time he did something "kinky" he was drunk and he agreed to spank me
The only rule was that he keep spanking me until I told him to stop
I didn't stop him until I was crying like a little child
When he stopped spanking me he mounted me from behind
I had the best orgasm of my life as soon as he entered me
I had one more before he finally came
Afterwards I layed in bed for almost an hour much too exhausted to go shower

So YES if you find the proper scenario BDSM will give you screaming orgasms
What works for me probably won't work for you
Find your own fetish and enjoy it without restraint

[shayna{L_D}]

ive had my fair share of plain ol' sex, like Flaming Redhead put it, and to me it just doesnt do it for me, my mind starts to wander and think of other things, like taking a shower, hanging out with friends, Brad Pitt on occasion.


Im like hopperboo and Flaming_Redhead, i love to be spanked, held down, tied up, humliated, intimidated, fear and SOME pain get me going in the worst way. I need to stay in that mind frame throughout sex, i have never cum before period, but when i do have regualr old sex, like i said above i get disinterested and get bored, and or dry to the bone.

The kinkyness needs to stay steady or i wont be into it, is what im trying to say. No i do not think i can cum from just one thing, like being tied down or just spanked. Yes, it turns me on very much so but i dont think i can cum just from that.

[bambina]

Okay. So it's basically another "Depends upon the person" kinda thing.

[hopperboo]

Umm....

I just want to throw in here that I'm perfectly turned on by the idea of "normal" sex (as long as the male is in 'charge' in some type of way) too...you aren't alone. ;)

[MissConfused]

Bambina yes exactly
Find what you want and it will always excite you
The people on this website are into BDSM

Have you ever experimented?

[MasterDragon]

and where this is going.

First thing I would like to say is that our dictionaries cannot define it. As you can see when you go to this link.

(add the www)dictionary.reference.com/browse/fetish

This one is the oldest.

fet·ish /ˈfɛtɪʃ, ˈfitɪʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fet-ish, fee-tish] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
Also, fetich.

[Origin: 1605–15; earlier fateish < Pg feitiço charm, sorcery (n.), artificial (adj.) < L factīcius factitious; r. fatisso, fetisso < Pg, as above]

—Related forms
fet·ish·like, adjective

—Synonyms 1. talisman, amulet.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

I was always taught this one so I am kinda partial to it.

fetish fet·ish (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)
n.

1. Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.


It is simple and not dirty, I guess I like definitions like that. Dirty comes in everywhere why in my definitions........:bondage:

So in other words the dictionaries cannot agree and neither can we. On the true meaning that is. So look at it this way. Technically the word as labeled to the 'lifestyle' is very young, so you may not even see it as a 'lifestyle' word. But then again simplistic is not ou (humans) way.


Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.

--Marquis de Sade

[MasterDragon]

bambina yes exactly
find what you want and it will always excite you
the people on this website are into bdsm

have you ever experimented?




Agreed!!!

[bambina]

No. I suppose it's too early for me to ask this question then.

[MissConfused]

bambina I am still very curious why you call these "acts?"
This is very real to all of us here
I am new and have followed only one command thus far but my experience was not an act. I experienced real bondage and humiliation.
In case you are wondering I felt more ALIVE than I have in several decades.
The commands drove me to my limits and beyond and I succeeded!

I ask that some gentle dom give you a command for you to perform
I believe you will find this is not an act

[lucy]

Sometimes i really like it very much just to be tied up and NOT have sex afterwards. Or before. Or while being tied up. On other times i have just plain old - and often good - vanilla sex. And i definitely am not too fond of sadistic things.
But still, i consider myself a submissive, and i think it's not acting. I get really turned on just when he ties my hands behind my back. And so does my Master (think that i'm a sub and get turned on). So, all in all, i'm quite fine and honestly i don't give a rats' ass about what others think of it.

[hopperboo]

bambina I am still very curious why you call these "acts?"
This is very real to all of us here
I am new and have followed only one command thus far but my experience was not an act.

A person looking in, a newbie, it can sometimes (or most of the time) look like 'acts.' And cold, calculated ones many times too, especially for ones looking in at how Dominants interact with their submissive.

I'm not saying that is the right view, but if that is why she used to words act, well, I've felt this way before and to be truly honestly, I still sometimes DO with some people.



***I don't mean to offend anyone with this post, just sharing another view.



P.S. I must have missed the post that said 'act,' but I'm going to leave this post the way it is.

[Ragoczy]

http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=act

# S: (n) act, enactment (a legal document codifying the result of deliberations of a committee or society or legislative body)
# S: (n) act, deed, human action, human activity (something that people do or cause to happen)
# S: (n) act (a subdivision of a play or opera or ballet)
# S: (n) act, routine, number, turn, bit (a short theatrical performance that is part of a longer program) "he did his act three times every evening"; "she had a catchy little routine"; "it was one of the best numbers he ever did"
# S: (n) act (a manifestation of insincerity) "he put on quite an act for her benefit"

[Hime]

Yes, BDSM stuff turns me on much more than "vanilla" sex stuff does. For instance, I like to look at pictures of naked men, but if the man is handcuffed it's much more likely to have, er, a physical effect. I get really turned on just by words that I associate with D/s roles, let alone actual situations. :o

[rsjankowski]

some people can have screaming "o's" when they are in the essence of their special kink. for me it's more of build up. haven't found that capability yet where i can get off just by thinking of bdsm. but lord knows i do get really excited about it.

[Logic1]

I dont get turned on so far as to cum just by tying my gf up but yes I get turned on by it. I love just doing the tying and holding her down. I like plain vanilla sex just fine but it is like cake without the cream if you know what I mean.

[PetJulie]

I would have to say the thing that turns me on the most is the burn on my ass right after being flogged.
As well as biting on my neck and shoulders but my Master is not into that.

[MissConfused]

PetJulie one very naughty, perverse, or whatever thing I really enjoy is sitting in the church's pew Sunday morning after my husband has spanked me very hard Saturday night
I still feel the pain from the spanking but feel guilty (naughty) having that experience in the church
I hope I'm not going to hell

[DIXIE LASS]

"If you're not in my head, you're not in my erogenous zone."

(source unknown)

Dixie

[DesertDom]

I would have to say the thing that turns me on the most is the burn on my ass right after being flogged.
As well as biting on my neck and shoulders but my Master is not into that.

A bit off topic, but:
I hope that you were able to watch True Blood the other night on HBO. The heroine in the show finally allowed her vampire boyfriend to bite her, it was incredibly erotic.

[secret_slave]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help ;)

[bambina]

Quick question. Is it possible to cum through direct stimulation alone (masturbation) without fantasizing? I've always fantasized while masturbating but I could never concentrate if I were in the middle of 'the act'. Could I still cum without the fantasizing?

[Omen]

That is possible yes, if your worked up and just need some release it's not hard to do for some. You don't even have to think of anything, just go at yourself and let nature take it's course. The human body can easily react to simulation even if the person wishes it would not. Fantasy does not always play into it.

[MasterDragon]

A bit off topic, but:
I hope that you were able to watch True Blood the other night on HBO. The heroine in the show finally allowed her vampire boyfriend to bite her, it was incredibly erotic.



It was bloody hot no pun intended.:bondage:

[Ragoczy]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help ;)

I've seen some individuals who orgasmed from a variety of things other than direct genital stimulation. For instance, I've known both men and women who could reach orgasm from a caning.

[MasterDragon]

I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help ;)



The answer to this question is. No you do not have to have genital stimuli, trust me. They are just usually the easiest to stimulate. The better the stimulator, real or fake, human or prop, the easier to stimulate. No matter where the application.:hubba:

[BrightFyrefly]

It was bloody hot no pun intended.:bondage:

Yes, yes it was...*sigh* brings to mind my major attraction to vampires that ran through much of my life...*sigh*:vampire:

[denuseri]

Some people are even trained to cum on command from a cold start. Winks

[DesertDom]

Some people are even trained to cum on command from a cold start. Winks

That is pretty impressive. We tried to get to that level a while back, but could not achieve it.

[DIXIE LASS]

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex.

I'm not talking about fetishes that directly stimulate sexual organs (like breasts, crotches, etc...). I'm talking about fetishes that are just fetishes and do not provide direct stimulation.




I'm fairly certain there needs to be direct genital stimulation for an orgasm to be reached, or at least that's my personal experience. I certainly get incredibly aroused through BDSM acts, and would say that they excite me and arouse me more than vanilla sex acts. I'm not about to get off by being blindfolded or spanked...but it would certainly help ;)






I've seen some individuals who orgasmed from a variety of things other than direct genital stimulation. For instance, I've known both men and women who could reach orgasm from a caning.




The answer to this question is. No you do not have to have genital stimuli, trust me. They are just usually the easiest to stimulate. The better the stimulator, real or fake, human or prop, the easier to stimulate. No matter where the application.:hubba:



"If you're not in my head, you're not in my erogenous zone."



This thread has really gotten confusing. I'm quoting my own quote. But, that's one of the things that does it for me: if my partner can get into my head just right, I'm a goner with thoughts alone. I can orgasm fast and hard with absolutely no physical stimulation. No toys, no vibes, no hands. Some men seem to be able to say just the right thing, most don't. Now, that's just proof, of a type, that your brain is your biggest sex organ. And my brain doesn't need a lot of conversation, either. A sentence or two, said the right way, and I'm approaching melt-down. I'll cook-off like live ammo from just the thought or threat of certain fetishes/activities.

Now, it does bother me (just a little bit--lol) that I've run off and left my partner. But when I try to focus entirely on their pleasure and get them to "lift-off" first, my mind gets so imaginative while I'm talking or writing to them that I effectively mind-fuck myself. So I'm back to the same old problem. So: Yes, people really can get super excited by just the thought of certain fetishes/activities. And No, direct genital stimulation is not strictly needed for orgasm. Nor is any other physical stimulation.

I'll close in allowing that this situation is probably not the norm and I couldn't go out and just duplicate it with anyone. You can have really good cyber sex and it still not reach this level of intensity and eroticism. I think you just haven't found what (or who) "yanks your chain" yet. Keep looking.

Dixie:o :o

[sipgirl]

I cant speak for everyone , but I can tell you this.Being smacked, spanked, Him calling me names are all orgasm producing components for me. I love physical stimulation as well, but being mind f**ed is just as good. If these types of things dont produce an orgasm for you I dont think its because you dont belong in the lifestyle, its just different "strokes" for different folks!!

[MissConfused]

Quick question. Is it possible to cum through direct stimulation alone (masturbation) without fantasizing? I've always fantasized while masturbating but I could never concentrate if I were in the middle of 'the act'. Could I still cum without the fantasizing?

If you can maturbate while thinking of other things you are a man!

[snowflake]

...Or are they just fun? I think there was a thread about this already but I can't find it. So sorry for re-posting.

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun. If men and women can really cum just by being tied up...or if it's just a fun activity to do before or during sex. I've actually never asked this question. No one has said whether or not it's fun or if it drives them bananas. Sure everyone here might enjoy some things. But is it truly a turn on or just something kinky to do before the main event?

I'm not talking about fetishes that directly stimulate sexual organs (like breasts, crotches, etc...). I'm talking about fetishes that are just fetishes and do not provide direct stimulation. Some guys like to walk about in women's clothes. But do people actually cum from that? Some women like to be spanked. But do spankings make them have an orgasm?

"Oh my god. Oh yes this latex is so hot. Soooo hot. Oh yeah I'm going to cum. I'm gonna cum!"

The reason I ask is because, I see fetish acts like spanking and bondage and dressing up as fun things that are separate from sex. I'm not turned on or wet. I'm just having fun dressing up like a little girl for a guy. Does that mean that I don't have true fetishes and that I don't belong in this lifestyle just because I'm not turned on by sadistic things?

Maybe not the fetish of dressing up but there must be something about the whole situation that turns you on hun.. Maybe it is the control or being told what to do and trying to please that person .. Do you get wet from that???

This is a few good questions hun .. and i feel yes some people can get off from the fear.. the humiliation as well as other things that they may be into...just as some have said in here..

I also know the smell or taste of leather drives me insane.. the feel near brings me to orgasim when threatened with it.. not only because it is leather .. but because of the fear of what pain i may go through from it .. It turns me into a total ball of melt down .. Tighing up has the same effect especially when i am tied so tight there is no way out...

Then there is the subject of pain.. that i can cum from without any sexual stimulation at all...

I wrote a post a while back that i am going to quote as well give you a link .. In the link you will find the post and replies to what i said if you are interested.

But what it boils down to is what we call Sub Space.. and well Endorphin Rushes...

I hope it answers your questions as well gives you a reason why people such as myself get off without stimulation at all..

But before i do i want to add.. this is not an act nor a game for me .. This is my lifestyle that i chose to live and have now for over 25yrs..

Here is the link and the quote...

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13986


HI gloomy bunny.. it is a good question.. and i often wondered it myself a long time ago..

It is hard to push your tolerance level but i find it as a want or need now...

Some ways that may help is to find the spot in your head that you can lose yourself .. a place that most are afraid to go.. to totally relax and not tense up.. to let your body float with the pain.. and not fight it.. to let it build inside you.. thinking of how you want to please your Sir.. putting your mind into a thought away from the pain or sometimes even music will help...

But i also feel it has to be the Doms responsibility to get you there in the right way as well..

Working you up slowly softly with a proper length warm up helps as well.. If he goes to fast and your mind and body can't keep up you will feel the pain and not enjoy it but resist from it... It has to be paced properly.. and that is your Dom's responsibility to figure out your pace and how fast you can go to accept it...

I find communication for this is very helpful.. Using the terms green yellow red and a safe word helps the Dom to know where you are at..

green-being go a bit harder
yellow-meaning ok stay here let me catch up
red-being move somewhere else or slow right down as it got ahead of you..

and of course always have a safe word for Stop

If you can get past the pain.. there is a place you will find.. It is called sub space.. Once you have made it there you will find it is somewhere you never want to leave..

It is the place where the natural chemical to fight off the pain lies.. They are called endorphins..

-WHAT ARE ENDORPHINS? ("en-DOR-fins")
"Endorphin" is Greek for "the morphine within", describing pain-relief chemicals produced naturally in the body. The central nervous system is equipped with specific receptor sites for morphine-like substances that attach to receptors to help relay "stop-pain" messages.

To put it bluntly.. it is a total body high.. without using drugs or alcohol.. It is a high created by your own chemicals.. and a place you will want to go back to time and time again if you can find it properly...

I know i went almost 5 yrs without it .. and to go without is like an addiction.. it is very hard to forget and not want...

I have left some other places to find out about subspace below..

But i also want you to take note of what happens 36 hours to 4-5 days after a sub hits subspace.. that most don't know about ...

It is called The sub drop...

I will take a part that explains this from this link {remember to read this whole link if you are interested}


http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Scening.htm
sub drop: "Always, always keep in mind that with the raising of endorphins comes the falling of endorphins. By that I mean sub drop. Sub drop is the term used for, when the endorphin levels drop down past normal. The Dominant must be there for this. It often happens between 36hrs, and up to, 4 or 5 days after the scene. (depending on the submissive).

In sub drop the submissive feels insecure, wishy washy. Her emotions are all over the place. She might feel cold, then hot, then cold again. Her body might tremble and shake. All of which depend on how deep into subspace the submissive went. The deeper the subspace, the harder the sub drop.

Chocolate helps with sub drop, it raises the endorphin levels. Make sure there's water on hand, as well as a blanket. Blanket around a submissive's shoulders held tight along with the arms of her Dominant, can make her feel secure again. A warm shower to help with the chills often helps as well."


Here are also some other references to endorphins and breaking in a sub to pain:



http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Breaking-sub-extreme-play.htm
This one is a bdsm dictionary as well .. Very smart to keep handy



http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/dictionary/Endorphin/
i hope at least some of this has helped hun... i know it can be frustrating .. and yes the others are right .. sometimes people just are not into it...

Just my opinion

hugs
snow

Some of this is going a bit off topic.. but i truly feel that to understand you need to not just hear someone say yes i do ..you need to understand the why i do..

Just my opinion

hugs
snow

[cookiecat]

Quick question. Is it possible to cum through direct stimulation alone (masturbation) without fantasizing? I've always fantasized while masturbating but I could never concentrate if I were in the middle of 'the act'. Could I still cum without the fantasizing?

forced orgasm.

it's very possible. easier when someone else is doing the "direct stimulation."

but there have been times when i'm just not in the mood and he requires an O. no time to work up a hot fantasy. using a vibe or just a lot A LOT of pressure on clit gets me there. the O usually feels way different - way more concentrated just on my clit rather than that whole yummy all over tingly feeling but heck, it's just as good - if not better because it was just a pure O... no bells & whistles.

[Oak]

It really differs from sub to sub.
I've experienced subs who got orgasms being spanked or whipped and others who could come several times during long bondage sessions.
For it was the making love afterwards. So there really arent any "rules" for it. :rose: :rose:

[bambina]

Snowflake

No I can't say BDSM turns me on. I get excited. I get the feelings you get right before you go on a roller coaster. That anxious feeling while I fantasize about rape and such. But no, I am not turned on by any of it. I don't get wet and I've never orgasmed from thoughts of bdsm. BDSM is fun. Not a turn on.

So now I'm worried. Maybe I am just one of those people who likes kinky things in the bedroom and nothing more. Perhaps I'm not hardcore enough to be part of this community. Say it aint so. I hope that's not the case. But, then again, it's too early to decide. I hardly have any experience.

Edit: And no I'm not MIssconfused. I'm sure lots of women fantasize while masturbating. I'm just one who HAS to fantasize in order to orgasm.

[MissConfused]

Snowflake

No I can't say BDSM turns me on. I get excited. I get the feelings you get right before you go on a roller coaster. That anxious feeling while I fantasize about rape and such. But no, I am not turned on by any of it. I don't get wet and I've never orgasmed from thoughts of bdsm. BDSM is fun. Not a turn on.

So now I'm worried. Maybe I am just one of those people who likes kinky things in the bedroom and nothing more. Perhaps I'm not hardcore enough to be part of this community. Say it aint so. I hope that's not the case. But, then again, it's too early to decide. I hardly have any experience.

Edit: And no I'm not MIssconfused. I'm sure lots of women fantasize while masturbating. I'm just one who HAS to fantasize in order to orgasm.

bambina who confused you with me?
It wasn't because of what I said about masturbation was it?

I keep thinking I should have phrased that "only a man can masturbate while thinking of other things"

PLEASE forgive me if I insulted you in anyway

[cookiecat]

what's wrong with liking BDSM in the bedroom only? it's a great place to enjoy it. :)

it sounds like you're being a little hard on yourself. discovery is the most fun part of D/s - what you like, what you don't... just sit back and enjoy the ride.

[snowflake]

Snowflake

No I can't say BDSM turns me on. I get excited. I get the feelings you get right before you go on a roller coaster. That anxious feeling while I fantasize about rape and such. But no, I am not turned on by any of it. I don't get wet and I've never orgasmed from thoughts of bdsm. BDSM is fun. Not a turn on.

So now I'm worried. Maybe I am just one of those people who likes kinky things in the bedroom and nothing more. Perhaps I'm not hardcore enough to be part of this community. Say it aint so. I hope that's not the case. But, then again, it's too early to decide. I hardly have any experience.

Edit: And no I'm not MIssconfused. I'm sure lots of women fantasize while masturbating. I'm just one who HAS to fantasize in order to orgasm.

Hun if you are just learning.. what is to say that maybe that bit of excitement will not flourish as you do in the BDSM world?

The expectation and the anticipation can and will grow if allowed leading to more feelings towards the whole situation..

Just as a flower grows you are still a bud on a tiny stem that has not yet seen or shown your full potential.. enjoy what you have and allow yourself to grow before making any harsh judgement of whether you belong or not... you might find you bloom into a beautiful flower...

We all started off just as you... either as kids and fantasies... or as young adults still exploring for the first times...Not Belong..?? i dare say this is the best place to be .. to learn more and try and find yourself if this is something that even gives you the slightest little twinge of excitement... as you will find some of us maybe a bit more experienced then you ..but are more then willing to share that with you to help you grow and learn other ways you may enjoy it .. There is so much to this life.. it is not all about taking a punishment enjoying spanking or even rough play.. it can be sensual as well hun...

Many enjoy being tied down, teased and tantalized .. others like to be told what to do .. others enjoy pleasing their Master.. and the list goes on ..

So if you find interests at all even if it is bedroom enjoyment ...then i can honestly say this is the place to be... Even if it is just to find new ways to make it more interesting in the bedroom.. and hun i wasn't a 24-7 sub through the whole 25 yrs i have been a sub ... it started off slow just like you and grew... So don't be hard on yourself ..take your time... ask questions and learn from it ..but most of all enjoy what you do no matter what part you do...

Just my opinion again hun

hugs snow

[MasterDragon]

Some people are even trained to cum on command from a cold start. Winks

I know someone that is trained to snaps.

Most people torture her with the addams family theme.

:cool:Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her.
:bondage:Marquis de Sade:bondage:

[MasterDragon]

If you can maturbate while thinking of other things you are a man!

I am hoping this statement is a joke. But if not I am sorry hun. Scientifically and Bioligically you can while thinking about anything. there are physical triggers every woman has also. You just have to find them.

:cool:Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.
:bondage:Marquis de Sade:bondage:

[BrightFyrefly]

In regards to the "masturbating while thinking of other things" I would think you would have to be thinking of something sexual to masturbate to orgasm, at least in my experience anyway. Mine is thinking about my mates...I guess that makes me a voyer, huh?

[BrightFyrefly]

I can't imagine, personally, being able to orgasm in an instant like that. I don't know if it's because I haven't been doing this long enough, or because it's not something that has been...taught, I guess, or trained. I just find it hard to think of myself going from 0 to orgasm like that. Is it easier for certain types of people to do that?

[jeanne]

But I was just wondering if people actually got super excited by BDSM or if it's just fun.


Both! Some parts are just fun. What's not fun about dressing up sexy for your Dom? What's not fun about being teased until you blush? And what's not fun about being with a group of kinky people and actually being able to talk about sex and what we do?

As for super-excited...it just depends on the person. Pony-play is super-exciting for some and leaves others cold. I have a friend who is very submissive but any pain is a hard limit. However, service turns her on mightily.

Like another poster said: "Diferent strokes for different folks." Sometimes literally. :D

[Ladymad]

In answer to your first question... Hell. Fucking. Yes. But I'm sure you are already getting that from the previous responses to your post. I just wanted to add some more on the other question you asked...


Quick question. Is it possible to cum through direct stimulation alone (masturbation) without fantasizing? I've always fantasized while masturbating but I could never concentrate if I were in the middle of 'the act'. Could I still cum without the fantasizing?

Hell yes. I didn't think so for years and years! I was convinced that even during sex and when I was involved in any other sexual activity (like oral, etc), I would have to fantasize in order to cum. And I did do so, for a long time (My fantasies often involved the same person and similar situation but much much darker, more devious circumstances...). About a year ago I met the most wonderful man, and I never have to fantasize when I'm with Him. I'm just *there*, with Him, I can't possibly fantasize, so much to do... feeling, touching, moaning, stroking, grabbing, experiencing, listening, craving, begging, pleasing... submitting... loving Him and feeling that all encompassing thrill when He is grabbing and pulling and groaning and pushing... hard... the thrill of His pleasure stronger than mine, urging mine... cumming :D

So yay! No more being half checked-out during sex. When I'm fucking Him, I am 100% there and nowhere else. I think it may also have something to do with my feelings for Him. Oh, and of course, his super-fantastico, beyond-amazing bedroom abilities...

Now I can cum while masturbating without fantasizing easily, if I watch porn. I don't have to think about it, I just look, wank, and cum. But, it sucks and is absolutely no fun - more for when I am feeling lazy (and oddly, usually drunk. lol).

[MasterDragon]

I can't imagine, personally, being able to orgasm in an instant like that. I don't know if it's because I haven't been doing this long enough, or because it's not something that has been...taught, I guess, or trained. I just find it hard to think of myself going from 0 to orgasm like that. Is it easier for certain types of people to do that?

Well now how did these things change in the past few weeks?

[Ozme52]

Yes... There's nothing so sweet as hearing the words "Can you really do that?"

change to "How can you do that to me?"

[Velvet Rush]

If you can maturbate while thinking of other things you are a man!

Hate to say that isnt always true...i seldom masturbate for strictly that reason..I think too much and very easily distract myself...heck it happens even during pain play and i love that ....i'd love to find the dom who could make me lose myself in sensations and not think...lol...

[Velvet Rush]

I am hoping this statement is a joke. But if not I am sorry hun. Scientifically and Bioligically you can while thinking about anything. there are physical triggers every woman has also. You just have to find them.

:cool:Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.
:bondage:Marquis de Sade:bondage:

love the de Sade quote! ...mmm...every woman? are you speaking of physical triggers for instant orgasm??

[MasterDragon]

love the de Sade quote! ...mmm...every woman? are you speaking of physical triggers for instant orgasm??

Yes but more than that there are many other type of orgasms. Just depends on if someone can hit them. Some a difficult, though others are very easy.

[BrightFyrefly]

Well now how did these things change in the past few weeks?

I must amend my statement earlier. I understand now the power of orgasming on command, and I have a lot of respect for it. Thank you, Master.