Does it bother anyone to be told "good girl"?

[leah06]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

[evi6love]

Personally, I find this particular phrase to be incredibly rewarding when it comes from my Dom. It brings out this fantastic sensation that I have succeeded in pleasing Him and I positively glow.

That said, I'm having some difficulty imagining it getting to be that much of an issue, but if it really got to me, I believe I'd try to find an appropriate time to bring it up and explain why exactly it makes me uneasy. One could also ask if there would be other ways to bring across that positive reinforcement that would *actually* be positive for you and could serve as a comfortable substitution for your Dom. Knowing my Love, He would probably insist on saying it anyway from time to time just to piss me off.:rolleyes:

[tiensprtjrs]

"Good girl" is a just rewarding compliment for any sub be it that from her DOM or DOMME. Where's the problem ladies?

[delish]

"Good girl" is a just rewarding compliment for any sub be it that from her DOM or DOMME.
Where's the problem ladies?

Some phrases are just uncomfortable for people. If I stop and think about it, the fact that "Good girl" is a phrase
people usually say to a dog or a three year old, it chafes at me a little bit, and I don't have a problem with it under normal circumstances.

I know that in my relationship, if a reward wasn't rewarding me and I didn't speak up about it, He would be unhappy
with me. As mentioned above, He'd file it away to use to push my buttons and think of something more appropriate
for a proper reward. I think it's important to be aware of why it bothers you, though.

[good_girl]

*smiles* I like it so much I made it my name here.

I am my Doms baby girl, this is what he calls me on a regular basis, during play time he has tried out a few other "names" for me, when he does I've noticed him watching for a reaction from me, sometimes even asking me if I like it. It would seem that I like anything that he calls me, but I'm confidant that if I ever had a negative reaction to one of those names he would be very careful about how and when he used it.

[leah06]

Some phrases are just uncomfortable for people. If I stop and think about it, the fact that "Good girl" is a phrase
people usually say to a dog or a three year old, it chafes at me a little bit, and I don't have a problem with it under normal circumstances.

I think it's important to be aware of why it bothers you, though.

Thanks so much, Delish. This is exactly why it bothers me. It feels a little humiliating. And I guess that there are certain phrases at certain times that might be humiliating that don't bother me, but in the context of receiving praise - I don't know. It just bugs me. And I guess I've heard it, offered kindly, after something that was hard for me in an adult way, so hearing a phrase that would be directed at a child seems to discount what I've accomplished.

I know I'm totally over-analyzing something that is clearly well meant, but I have a strong visceral reaction to this phrase.

[icey]

i love it :) im probably supposed to say that i only like it when Icehawk calls me it but i like full stop although admittedly i do like it best of all when he calls me it because it has very different connotations.
the only times i ever hated it was when i was giving birth, then it always pissed me off, it felt like i was being patronised.

[secret_slave]

I love being called a good girl! My significant other says it rarely, but when he does I relish it. I can understand why somebody might be uncomfortable with it though, considering how the rest of society uses it (a toddler being potty trained would be a good girl, or a dog that came when called is a good girl) but then again, I rather like being treated as a pet...;)

[angela_shy]

i think this hearkens to the issue of how i feel about the relationship between feminism and BDSM. i used to think referring to any female over the age of 16 as a girl was disrespectful. now i find myself responding warmly to the phrase "good girl" - it's intimate, affectionate, and encouraging. i think one's reaction depends where one's mindset is at any point in time.

[Flaming_Redhead]

No one has said it to me lately, but I love it! There was this one who would tell me, "Good girl! You made a happy plate!" when I'd eaten all of my dinner. *ggls* Since I rather like to be treated as a little girl, it never bothered me at all.

[StormKat]

When the guy who introduced me to this world first began our dominance struggle, him saying "good girl" would provoke me to smack him one (which didn't go over particularly well with him, suprisingly :) ). Over time, I went from bristling at those words, to accepting them, to being happy to hear them. I learned to take them for what they were - recognition of something I'd done well.

[bip0lar]

heh, rachel i completely understand why somebody [you, in this case, along with others probably] would feel odd at the phrase. I refer to myself as a girl, still, it just doesn't feel right calling myself a 'woman' what with my age and all--i just don't feel like a woman yet, even though anatomically it's all there *smiles*. Still, though, the connotations that come with the phrase 'good girl' make me feel extremely good about myself. It is a nice reward for me, i must admit.
As stated in a previous post it's the phrase you're likely to say when talking to a child or a pet--it gives me the same feeling i hope my dog has when i tell her 'good girl!'. *giggles*

[lozzy]

To me it entirely depends on the context. In most situations I'm more than happy to be told I'm a 'good girl'. But sometimes I feel really demeaned by it, for example if I've worked really hard to acomplish something under my own accord and someone dissmisses me with 'oh good girl' then I feel patronised and upset,...

Although of course sometimes it's meant to cause that reaction... in which case in the *long run* i enjoy it...

hmmm generally i like it, is what im trying to say, i think.

[suchaminx]

keeping this really easy ------


I LOVE IT :) :)

[lucy]

keeping this really easy ------


I LOVE IT :) :)
Yep. I've got nothing else to say.:)

[judori]

I love it SOOOOO much.

[blythe spirit]

Well, I know my inner child loves being called "baby girl" and puffs when she's told she's been a "good girl." So, I'm guessin' I like it too. hehehe

However, it wasn't always a term I held fondly. And I guess that was a psychological thing. Lots of child molesters use this phrase when the little girl performs according to their liking. But I don't think I ever thought of it as patronizing until reading some of these posts.

If someone/anyone was doing something/anything that did not sit well with me; believe me, they'd hear it loud and clear. Perhaps you should ask the person, who is using this, why they use it? What does it do for them by saying it?

[DiablosLittleOne]

I like it as well. It doesn't bother me one bit when Master pats me on the head and tells me I've been a good girl. It's what I strive to be for him every day and the recognition from him is greatly appreciated. :)

[PropertyOfMasterJoey]

i LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVE it cuz i know Master only says it when it's true :-)

[leah06]

To me it entirely depends on the context. In most situations I'm more than happy to be told I'm a 'good girl'. But sometimes I feel really demeaned by it, for example if I've worked really hard to acomplish something under my own accord and someone dissmisses me with 'oh good girl' then I feel patronised and upset,...

Although of course sometimes it's meant to cause that reaction... in which case in the *long run* i enjoy it...

hmmm generally i like it, is what im trying to say, i think.

Yes, I wonder what reaction it's meant to cause. If he wants me to feel somewhat belittled, in a sort of sweet way, then it's working - and why mess with a system that works?

[delish]

I notice not many people are really touching the second question, beyond "Do you like it?" The question was also posed regarding how to deal with not liking it. I spoke with my beloved and He said that a reward should reward, period. If it's not doing the job, I have an obligation to Him to speak up about it, particularly if it's doing the precise opposite of its intention. Plus it provides Him with a phrase to use to push my buttons. Hah. (He's made of evil. And win.)

[annie]

Some phrases are just uncomfortable for people. If I stop and think about it, the fact that "Good girl" is a phrase
people usually say to a dog or a three year old, it chafes at me a little bit, and I don't have a problem with it under normal circumstances.

I know that in my relationship, if a reward wasn't rewarding me and I didn't speak up about it, He would be unhappy
with me. As mentioned above, He'd file it away to use to push my buttons and think of something more appropriate
for a proper reward. I think it's important to be aware of why it bothers you, though.

While the phrase "good girl" doesn't bother me and i like it but ONLY if it is said by my Ladies i can fully understand where negative feelings my be associated with it. I have the same reaction when someone else tells me "good girl" or calls me "dear." That pisses me off because it sounds almost patronizing to me. I know it all depends on the context but that doesn't change the feelings with it.

So i fully understand delish...

[enyssa]

I am very new and still learning a lot, but I do have to say that I LOVE being called "good girl". It does bring a smile to my face especially when I know it's meant as praise for something well done.

[shayna{L_D}]

to me when my Dom says "good girl" to me its like a reward. I get butterflies and my heart races, i love to be given this satsfation. It lets me know that what im doing it right/correct and is pleaseing him. Plus it makes me blush a very dark shade of red. :)

[Hime]

I like it in a D/s context, coming from my Master. In any other context, like if I got a paper published in a journal and my professor said "Good girl!", I would be righteously pissed off.

[Pearlgem]

Being a wee bitty older, I've had to get used to 'young lady' and 'girl' which patently ain't so, but when I hear 'good girl' ... It's a little demeaning, humiliating to be spoken to like a child in this way, but that's one of the reasons I like it. I like very much being stripped away of my worldly ego so that I can submit to my Master in humble simplicity. Besides, he is pleased with me and it tugs at my heart.

ANY ONE else calling me a girl will get the withering look.

[AdrianaAurora]

Its not the words, but who says them and what they mean by them. If a colleague or business partner said that to me (which has happened) - it usually ends up with me reducing them to little boys, lol.

When Tristan says it, I LOVE it. Its why I do this. Its a praise, an endearment, an acknowledgment that I have pleased him (that he likes it, that I have done a good job). For me they eliminate the humiliation/embarrassment aspect of doing something.

[subserviant]

I guess im different than most ,good girl is like saying good dog ,I prefer some thing like good slut

[Oak]

I certainly hope that my subs like it, as I quite often have called them good girls, not to offend them, but surely to say that they've been "good" girls.:hotwhip:

[cookiecat]

Being a wee bitty older, I've had to get used to 'young lady' and 'girl' which patently ain't so, but when I hear 'good girl' ... It's a little demeaning, humiliating to be spoken to like a child in this way, but that's one of the reasons I like it. I like very much being stripped away of my worldly ego so that I can submit to my Master in humble simplicity. Besides, he is pleased with me and it tugs at my heart.

ANY ONE else calling me a girl will get the withering look.

i totally get this - i'm older and love the daddy/little girl dynamic of D/s. but every so often, it strikes me as an odd fit as a 47 year old little girl... i do choose to look at it as a mind-set rather than an actual age...

"humble simplicity" - i like that, pearlgem. someone sent me to a blog called "imperfect grace" - sort of the same theme.

someone mentioned "good slut" was more of a turn on or felt more comfortable... for me it depends... good slut comes out during play... and that's so so good. good girl is saved for when i've done something that was a struggle. which, a lot of times, is just generally being obedient... :rolleyes:

but why not agree on something you both feel comfortable with?

[lucky#13]

I LOVE being called "good girl" i know Master is proud of me and pleased with what i have done... i enjoy the belittlement of it though... i love being humiliated to associate me particularly with a dog cuz he mostly calls me "his pet " :) ... really love it when he says that fyi lol... it makes me feel loved cuz he knows how much i do enjoy it

[BrightFyrefly]

I can understand how someone might feel like they don't like being referred to as a "good girl", since I myself had issues for a while that the terms "cute" and "adorable" meant that I wasn't seen as an adult. My thinking has changed, and I know that terms like that don't mean that I'm not seen as an adult, but that I'm doing something that possibly emphasizes my innocence in certain ways. And as far as "good girl" goes, I like knowing that I'm pleasing my Master, no matter the terms he uses to tell me.

[SubmissiveDoll]

I totally love it when He calls me His good girl. There is almost nothing that will give me that stupid grin quite as fast. Especially when He says it in French... *purrs*

[Isabella King]

Love it from people who care about me - hate it from people who don't.

[his_girl_l]

i LOVE being told i'm a good girl.

But i understand where you're coming from. Sometimes my Master calls me dear, it seems simple enough, it's just a word and an affectionate one at that. But something about the way He uses it makes it just drip with patronising condescension and i really can't stand it.

Of course the second He knew i reacted that way to it He filed it away for future use. Whereas if i hadn't mentioned it chances are i never would have heard the phrase again.

So i would be careful of what words to use when discussing this with your Dom

[jezabel]

I love it when my Master calls me a "good girl", but lately He has started calling me "girlie" and it drives me mad, unfortunately i told Him so now to wind me up, He says it more often.....damn Doms lmao

[his_girl_l]

i know. i so often find myself cursing myself the second words come out of my mouth, knowing that i've just given Him yet another button to push!

[AdrianaAurora]

i know. i so often find myself cursing myself the second words come out of my mouth, knowing that i've just given Him yet another button to push!

Dont you just HATE that, :rolleyes:. I simply cant help myself, I have to tell Him everything or I feel like I am about to burst. :(

[jezabel]

Dont you just HATE that, :rolleyes:. I simply cant help myself, I have to tell Him everything or I feel like I am about to burst.(

i hate the fact i cant keep anything from Him, He only has to say "slut" and im spilling the truth. lmao

[Laila]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?


Oh, my favourite thing. It puts the widest smiles on my face when my Master says it to me. And I like it also when random people say it jokingly - e.g. at work.

And I so agree - why is it that you feel sooo much more compelled to tell you Master every embarrassing, interesting detail of your thoughts that you'd never think about telling a 'normal' boyfriend.
Ok I love that...

[BDMjane]

I love being call good girl. It really mean so much to me.

[overxposedpet]

I love being told I am a "good girl" it kind of makes me feel more secure and that I am pleasing him. Being told "good girl" after a command makes me really want to please more and it makes me even hornier if that is possible

[PetJulie]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?


It is actually something that my Master says when I have done a good job with something. We are rl and online. When I say something that is the correct response or a good idea then he tell me 'good girl'. One of my names is also Pet even though we do not do animal play.

I just found out last night that my Master is getting me a cuff and collar set! I am very excited.

[isis646]

Since my Sir & i are so far apart. I like to hear it and see it in texts. I also like good sub, good pet. It just makes me feel so good knowing i made him happy.
His name for me is pet and i like it.
Now if anyone else in my "everyday" life were to say it I would be very upset and would say something about it. It would feel patronizing and degrading coming from anyone else but Sir.

[goalt]

I love it when Mistress calls me that.

[wonderworld]

Frankly I hate the phrase. It does take me back to being a kid- which I love. I am a big kid and I act like one whenever I can get away with it. However, I was aways in trouble as a kid. So when I hear the phrase Good Girl I dont think of it as praise, I think of it as acknowledgement that I have given in to something. I am not offended, I'll be a "girl" till I'm 100, but hearing Good Girl distracts me from what is going on to the point my instincts kick in to do the opposite of what I just got praised for. I give a heads up. Otherwise, they're bringing out the brat in me unknowingly... I'm new at this though. Maybe I need to work on that.

I love to be called pet, sweet, baby, anything else... bring it all on! :)

[fantasien]

so far, i appreciate it in an affirming effect. For me I like to please my Master/DOM, so it reaffirms that i have done that.

that is were i stand on it. But in some ways it also feels like a himiliation connotation to. Which i appreciate as well. it puts me in place and tells me that i need to be a good girl and keep pleasing her as my DOM. even though its just online.

[his_sinful_kitten]

I love it! It lets me know that my Master is pleased with me.

Although he doesnt say it often, it is special to me when he does :)

[BrightFyrefly]

I totally love it when He calls me His good girl. There is almost nothing that will give me that stupid grin quite as fast. Especially when He says it in French... *purrs*

That's really awesome...but I have a thing for accents...:)

[BrightFyrefly]

i hate the fact i cant keep anything from Him, He only has to say "slut" and im spilling the truth. lmao

I completely understand...and it seems like even when they aren't trying, they figure out the buttons that work the quickest...*sigh* what do you do? I think it's really one of the reasons we love them.

[thir]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

Yes, my Dom does say it to me, and I hate it. I am not a girl, I do not like the implication that slaves/subs are like children. It just bothers me!

[ghanima{DM690}]

My Dom calls me his good girl when I have done something well and I always try to get him to call me "his good girl". It invokes an feeling of utter happiness that i never got with any of my vanilla relationships. However at my job i have had people call me a good girl or sweetie and it drives me crazy, like i see red...lol. I only like it when he calls me good girl ;-)

[hissexypet]

Yep, love hearing Him tell me I'm a good girl.

It's the highest form of praise to me.

[claire]

I think if it really bothers you, you should respectfully let him know. My Daddy Dom calls me his little girl or his baby girl which I love. He also used to call me "little baby". For some reason that hits my buttons and feels like something a bully on a play ground would say. I explained that to him and told him the terms I do like. He has stopped using it. We are just on line, so the way it is said and the intonation are entirely in my head. If it were real life where I had other visual or verbal clues I might react differently.

[Bratty_Sub]

its wonderful to hear "good girl" from Him it makes me feel great and happy.. !

[Mangel]

i really enjoy being called 'good girl' my bf/Dom also calls me his angel, there are many things that make me feel good about making him happy and many things he says to me are just that much mre rewarding.

[Arria]

Basically, it gives me the creeps to be called "girl" in real life, partly because I look younger than I am anyway, and I feel not being taken seriously/belittled/looked down upon...

My Dom is not into calling me that, either, and I never wanted it, anyway.

However, there are a very small number of the Dommish folk on here who have called me that... "good girl" or "little one"... and I found it made me feel all pleased and warm and fuzzy inside... coming from them, I like it a HUGE lot...

But I have found that there is pretty much nothing one really does not like or is not willing to do, granted one is with the right partner... so I have to say it really depends on the person who speaks to me.

[sinderella]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

i luv it. it means i am pleasing Him in every possible way. i don't see anything humiliating in it at all. if i disliked it, i would not say anything because i know He meant it with love and tenderness. to me it is a very special endearment and urges me on to do even more things to please Him. i have found that accepting words as they are given is the wisest choice because sometimes i read things into words that are simply not there, to the detriment of our experience together.

[Ladymad]

When He calls me His 'good girl' my heart swells and it drives me crazy. I love it!

Sexually and emotionally a positively awesome statement...

[SirLs_leenie]

i am Master's girl, He refers to me as such, so to be His good girl is a GOOD thing!
Perhaps if you just try to focus on the fact your Dom is pleased with you enough to let you know might make it easier to hear.

[leah06]

Perhaps if you just try to focus on the fact your Dom is pleased with you enough to let you know might make it easier to hear.

Yes, in fact that's what happened. I had enough trouble with some other things that were required of me that I chose not to address this particular issue, and you're right, I stopped hearing the patronizing part of it, or perhaps I learned to like that. In any event, it certainly pleased me to please him.

He's long gone, but the lessons remain.

[love2serve]

MMMmm those two words - either spoken softly or sent in email or text can make me tingle with pride for hours

[love2serve]

Unless my husband says it at home - he does it to wind me up and it makes me want to scream at him. But when my Master says it the joy I feel is so intense, I smile for ages afterwards.

[sub_april]

Mmmm........ I loooooooooooooooooooove being called a good girl. I love it when my master calls me that :)

[satisfied]

Okay, i my humble opinion, the words that your Dom uses for you are only as good as your reaction to them. I personally love it when i've done something to please him and he tells me that i'm such a good girl. However, if hearing this does nothing for you then you should be open with your Dom and tell him that. If you are having a negative reaction to his words of praise then it is also bringing you out of sub space when he uses them, it takes away from your pleasure and no Dom worthy of having the title would want something like that for you. It would be a simple matter for him to find the right word that just makes you feel all warm and happy when you hear it. Communication is the key here, he is trusting you to tell him when something isn't right. Good luck.

[uncollared-katie]

i love being called "good girl" it makes me feel that i have been VERY pleasing... There is a Dom that i play with by phone sometimes and i love it when he says it

[hislilslut2008]

i love it when my Master calls me a "good girl" it means i really please him. and i usually get a kiss out of it tooXD
but when he says "good kitten" it melts me into his arms*floats to memory....* He's only said it once....
people here have mentioned "good slut", i enjoy being told that to a degree, espically in fornt of other people.

[mollydoll]

I've always strived to be a "good little girl" "sweet girl" pretty little doll etc. The only term that I've ever had an issue with was being called "cunt" My former Master only called me that one time and when it made me cry he never called me that again. I'm not sure why it made me cry it just did and it wasn't crying in a good way either it was "don't touch me" crying. So I always strive to be good except when I'm being bad...
*giggles*
mollydoll

[hissexypet]

I love being called a good girl. Its the ultimate form of praise in my book.

Just love hearing Him tell me that, I just beam with pride knowing that He is pleased with me.

[fallenstar]

i love being called good girl... its rarely used so i know when he Does use it he Means it and he's pleased with me

[aussiesubgirl]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

If I REALLY disliked any term that my Dom gave me I would say so after the scene and when I could say it in a way that was not charged with the negative emotion that was attached to the name - no point in ruining a perfectly wonderful scene for one phrase that has no power other than what I choose to give it...

I personally love 'good girl' when he says it to me inside and outside of the b'room....but would recoil if most other people used this term to describe or address me as it does have some obvious patronising connotations...but it does all depend on the tone. But I may not be the best judge...in Australia, sometimes the most horrible epithets are used to refer to each other ("How's it going ya old bat / cunt / bastard?!" are some of the cheery greetings that can be heard in any normal pub on a Friday night as old friends greet each other.....we all know that these names show us that you are loved and most of all accepted (we delight in teasing each other and giving the worst most degrading nicknames) but it ALL depends on the tone and delivery...if someone other than a close friend called us that, well....its WAR! ;)

But if you don't like it, say so...end of. Gently provide him with an alternative name he can use that does do the right things to you (after all its meant as a reward) instead of making you feel uncomfortable....he wants to know your triggers (good and bad), and communication is the only way to do that....as I can see from most posts here, 95% of the subs here love the term 'good girl' when delivered by their Dom, so he may have no reason to believe this could cause you any conflict based on prior experience with other subs...

Life's too short to feel bad about 2 simple words...you can change it :)

xxx

PS but be prepared for him to bring it out when you do something wrong!!! hehehe

[aussiesubgirl]

Just read back through the rest of the posts and realised he is no longer in your life...but my thought remains the same, submissive does not mean that you cannot express a preference or communicate your wishes to a Dom....if you don't like it, and it has overtones you find uncomfortable (child abuse / degradation when you do not enjoy being degraded etc) then let him know...

xxx

well done for still wanting to explore the issues of the past, its the only way to move forward

[wyldrose]

this girl agrees that any praise is good praise- she likes knowing that she has pleased and done her job well. she feels that 'good girl' is affectionate and enjoys hearing it.
if she did not like it, she supposes that she would find some way to say so, although it may be difficult to bring up! its much better to share things in her opinion, rewards and punishment should work as intended.

[Sanapet]

I know I'm new to the forum, but when my Master calls me a 'good girl' it's extremely rewarding. I feel like He's pleased with me and my action.

On the flip side, I had a problem in the beginning of O/our relationship with Him calling me slave, just as a pet name. For me the word seemed very cold and demeaning. I thought of a few alternatives I could live with or would like better and talked to Him about using those instead of slave (He now calls me pet). And W/we decided that He would use 'slave' when he was displeased with me or punishing me since it bothered me anyway.

Hope this helps!

Sana

[daddiespet]

i love being called good girl by Daddy :)
if it really bothered me i think He wouldn't call me that though

[fluffy]

I like a lot of ladies here am far from a girl (that was a long time ago)

when Mr B*****d calls me a good girl, its normally after bearing a length spank, usually im in such a state it registers and im hugely comforted.

its later when i replay it all in my head it bristles and prickles a bit.

i would never swap it.

[Mdv8ed]

Usually it bothers me yet makes me smile. My last dom used to say it to me when i did well but, being stubborn as i am, he knew it to push my buttons. It kept up with our very playful relationship of my no-I'm-strong-and-tough-...please-take-me

[Spankmeplease2009]

Well I am a guy so I would be called good boy.

I don't know. I don't dislike it but I much prefer being told I am bad or naughty.

[cherryatom]

If my dom is pleasing me I behave. If he does something I don't like I call him Mom. Just so he knows I don't like it. I don't pretend that this solves any problems but I think it lets him know where I stand. It's also a terribly immature way of dealing with it as it doesn't foster the communication between you and you have to be ready to accept the consequences.

[angelic.zest]

i really need to check the forums more often lol...anyway back on topic.

I love to be called a good girl, i grin like a silly fool after hearing it. even in the vanilla setting, i still love being called a good girl. Its a term of endearment for me, something that should that he cares enough to show his graditude to me...by calling me his good girl.

I give him the same reaction, a gentle smile and/or a silly grin.

[starwarsfreaknum1]

I love being called a good girl! My significant other says it rarely, but when he does I relish it. I can understand why somebody might be uncomfortable with it though, considering how the rest of society uses it (a toddler being potty trained would be a good girl, or a dog that came when called is a good girl) but then again, I rather like being treated as a pet...;)


I agree with you. I love being told that I was a "good girl".

[miners_girl]

I love being called good girl- Master tells me I glow when he says it. I always get a silly smile on my face when he does.

[erish]

i wrote my very first blog entry on this topic ... i simply adore being told those two words by my (Almost) Master - being told them in any other context is an entirely different matter, mind you - and miners_girl, 'glowing' is a great way to describe a response.

i think that part of it for me is that it takes me into a much less complicated place than my adult/"real" world life generally is. When i please my (Almost) Master, He tells me i am good. And it's that simple.

But yes, i 100% agree with those who are saying that if you don't like anything your Dom calls you intending affection, then let Him know outside of the play session. Just like negotiating lists for limits, things you want to try, things He won't do, etc etc ... words and phrases and language is so key to keeping things flowing easily when playing. i know that for me, His "good girl" and hair stroking lets me take much more from His crop or flogger than i would otherwise be able to endure. And that wouldn't be the case if the words didn't melt me so.

[kaerose13]

like many here, i absolutely melt when He calls me good girl. this usually happens through texts. . .so the dreamy vacant look that crosses my face and the sudden rush of heat can be a bit awkward in the middle of a class or meeting. for me the only words better than "good girl" is when He tells me what a good toy i am. *swoon*

He's never called me cunt or slut or any terms that are usually derogatory. i'm not completely sure, but i think i would have a big problem with them. if that happens i will let Him know i don't like it outside of playtime (that is if He can't tell from my reaction, i think He'll know).

[openlyrefined]

I love it!! I find it rewarding & comforting & I only ever get it if I truly earn the words. He says this so I know when I pleased him well.

If I didn't like it, I would ask Him to maybe call me something different because "Good Girl" sounds:
"condescending & makes me think I didn't really do a good job..." or "like you're talking to your dog..."
and suggest an alternative.

I would think most Dom's would prefer the feedback. Doms care about their subs & want for us to be happy too!

[love2serve]

Openlyrefined is absolutely right, its the way something is said. When Master says 'good girl' to me, it makes me feel as if I could burst with happiness and pride that I have pleased him, when my husband does it (and that is rare nowadays because after 20 years of marriage he has FINALLY got it into his thick head that it is condescending and annoying) it just makes me want to bark and wag my imaginary tail LOL - Its the same with slut, Kaerose said that slut and cunt would upset her if they were used by her master, but mine calls me slut all the time and I love it. If he says Good Morning and doesnt put slut on the end I miss it!! It always makes me smile. So I guess its different strokes for different folks think how boring life would be if everyone was the same!!!

[whisky44]

I love being told Im a good girl it lets me know he is being pleasured

[Sakura]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

If it was said to me by my Dominant, then it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Someone else, however, would get told of my displeasure.

[ravenbounduptight]

When i'm playing with a play partner, i love hearing it. i also love hearing "you're being a bad girl." When it's in that case it's part of the play and mind fuck for me.

When i'm in public not playing, it doesn't do anything for me. And depending on my mood it makes me either grin a good one, or slap Him.lol.

~j~

[brwneydgirl]

Does it bother me to be told I'm a "good girl"? Not in the least.

It pretty well rocks. :D

[sinful_desires {Nikon}]

My Master very rarely tells me i'm a "good girl". Hmmmmm that must mean i am always a bad girl :D

[naughtyminx]

I love it. It means I've pleased Him and He is acknowledging that to me. Whether in public or during play. Actually He can call me anything He wants...good girl, good slut, good slave.

[Missy_Me]

I have to agree with naughtyminx here... If there is "good" at the start, it's already sounding good to me. :D

But "good girl"??? hmmm.... shivers.... I LOVE IT!!!
(caressing the hair... hmm... heaven!)

(of course, in the right context, by the right person, etc, etc... If not, just watch out 'cause I might just slap you! - calm down, Missy... lol)

[AnticipatingPain]

If I hear the words "good girl"; I have a contented look on my face, I know I have done well, pleased him and I am in the place that I long to be....

[lady_kanta]

When/If I hear "good girl" I beam from ear to ear. It's one of my most favorite words to hear.

[rosebud]

Hearing "good girl" and seeing Master's sexy smile, makes my body tingle and throb! :D

[SilverMist]

I love it when my Master calls me "good girl". Cuz i know i have done something that pleased him.

[phedrea]

I love being called good girl or even just girl it totally turns me on. Well depending on who's saying it.

[13'sbadkitty]

i am also older, 45...but when He says that i melt at His feet.

[peach]

When my Master calls me good girl....i love it. He doesn't use it often, so when he does say it....it means the world to me.

[sexy45]

I love it when my Master says "Good Girl"
but, when someone else says it I feel like they are very condescending to me!

[muskrat3o3]

im into being told to dress up like a girl and when my mistress says good girl to me it humilates me but i like to be humilated

[coquette_bound]

no it doesnt bother me...i love being praised!!!

[WifeMomSlave]

Hmmm..I do not think master has ever said "good girl" to me....but the thought does appeal to me. *grins*

[love2serve]

Nothing in the world beats hearing those words.....

[angelic.zest]

I love hearing it, i have no issues or hang up with hearing that i am a "good girl" or "good slut" or "bitch" if its by the one i call my Dominant!

[skye67]

good girl!? my Master is old school (kinky)german! schatz (treasure) is the most endearing thing he would call me! makes my heart sing:)

[nawteeone]

Hmmm. I don't find it humiliating at all, but in a non-sexual situation would find it extremely condescending. One of the reasons I love M so much is he has the common sense to know when to use it and when not to!

Honestly, when I'm all hot & bothered, just about anything works for me!

[FrgnSwtc]

Only Master can say that to me. If another would dare... OMFG!! I think I'd snap and attack.

When He says "you're such a good girl"... I can't describe the happiness, it just makes my chest explode.

[flying66]

Does anyone say this to you? Do you like it? Dislike it? Are you indifferent? Suppose you really disliked it, and it was meant as a reward, would you say so, or try to accept it as it's given?

Yes! I love it when Master calls me a 'good girl' ^_^

If I didn't like it then I would accept it for now, then later I'd tell him how I didn't like it. It's always important to talk and let Master know if I don't like something (and even if I like it, then it could be done more often in the future!)

[ladylookin09]

i don't get it often but when He tells me good girl, i know He is happy, that makes me happy.

[kristinemae]

I would have to agree with most of the other comments here, I love being told good girl, i find it makes me light up and makes me want to work harder to hear it. this being said, i understand that some actions and phrases dont work well and may give the wrong impression from what our Dom/Dommes may have intended. its always best to be open with them, about everything, then they will know to use a different phrase for rewarding and maybe use good girl as a humiliation tactic.

[sexyredhead]

In a regular relationship I would not enjoy being called "good girl". But the little experience I do have as a sub, I love it. Being called a good girl means I am pleasing my Master and that is deeply satisfying and for me, a huge turn on.

[tina2008]

Love it!! Sir doesn't often say "good girl" so when he does, it's very special, especially depending on the setting. ~blush

[pixie_piper]

i loooooooovvvvvvee getting told im a good girl :-) but then im my Master's little pixie tehe we do age and puppy play so good girl is veeerrrryyyy good tehe

[shydiver]

When my Dom tells me "good girl," I get this overwhelming urge to smack him in the back of the head (I learned my lesson the first time I did that!!). I think that there are some phrases and words out there that irk people and that phrase irks me to no end. Now my Dom uses it when he really wants to tease me and knows that I can't do a single thing about it. Sometimes it works to my advantage in the long run. :d

[openyoureyes]

It bothered me at first, but the more I hear it, the less it bothers me. However, when he does it in conjunction with patting my head, it feels very patronizing and not encouraging at all.

But, if he asks me, "are you my girl/whose my girl" or "are you my good girl", I usually just melt.

[mauiboy73]

When my Mistress tells me "good girl", i know that ive pleased her. Therefore, i love hearing "good girl".

[Janice32]

Its the ultimate compliment :)

[pandora's_folly]

to me if i have an emotional tie/bond with someone then to be told 'good girl' is the most rewarding statement i could ever hear and will practically purr like a kitten but on the other side of the coin if it was to be said from someone who i work with or anyone i had no emotional tie/bond with then the same words grate on me like chalk on a board and i have in my time flipped out on a person for being such a patronising prat....

i am a little bit complex though or have duel personalities...lol

[DontBother]

Context is king.

The words dont really matter it's who says them and what they mean that is the most importart - for everyone.

[Akari]

I personally love being told "good girl," though I've only ever been called that by people I'm fairly attached to. I strive to please people, and I rarely get accomplishes acknowledged in my vanilla life, so it makes me feel special when I get called a "good girl." It's also reassuring to me if I'm doing something not particularly pleasant, and encourages me to push onwards.

[chipmunk_]

As a 40 year old professional, I thought being called a "good girl" would bother me. However, I find it pleasurable, and even thrilling. I've only been called a good girl by one person, though, and I imagine that could make a big difference.

[shishagal]

my Masters always calling me a "good girl" (im in training to be a sub) when i get things right lol. i find it funny its been a long time since i was a girl(almost 47 now) but i have to admit i get a buzz out of it

[understudy]

I totally agree with pandora's it all boils down to context and the intent of the person saying it.

[kage]

Before I started actually exploring all of this being told "good girl" would have ticked me off to no end but when Sir says it I love it. But only when it comes from Sir, if someone were to say that to me in an everyday situation I'd still probably get a bit ticked off. And I think even if I hated it but Sir meant it as a reward then I'd do my best to accept it and learn to like it at the very least although I would make sure to tell Sir that it was slightly uncomfortable to hear.

[~little~miss~spitfire~]

for me this is the phrase that does the most to my consciousness and subconscious at the same time. It is the highest praise, the only praise, that I need. For me, it is the greatest reward I can earn...and if I can elicit this from my Master, then it is all the satisfaction that I need.

[sweetiepie]

It is personally one of my favourite phrases. :)

[littlepony1]

i would get a flush of irritation if it was from anyone else..i like it very much to hear from my master when im doing something right for him

[subserviant]

I hate being called *good girl* makes me feel like im a dog. Only thing worse is to be called *little one*

[swallowz]

I love to be told good girl. I need to know that what I do is pleasing. Even in a text message, "good girl" will get a smile out of me.

[Purple23]

my Sir will often call me good girl. One day i told him it made me feel like a dog.. He continued to call me it after a little discussion and now, although it still feels like He is calling me a dog sometimes, it means i am doing something right and pleasing Him. It just depends on the situation i guess.

[Zarine13]

My feelings have changed as this seems to be a common term of endearment for a lot of people. If I hear 9 people called baby and one called sweetie, I would prefer sweetie. I hear a LOT of Tops/Dom(me)s say 'good girl' to their partners. I'll accept it from a play partner or someone I'm having fun with, but if it looks like it's actually going somewhere I'll let them know I would much rather prefer a smile or a touch or something else other than 'good girl' if I have pleased.

[puppet]

I love it when Mistress calls me a good boy. She was heading out the door today and told me I was a good boy and I started dripping precum almost instantly

[wolfs_grace]

I like to be called a "good girl". The are other words far more demeaning. I am a good, it means, I please my Master.

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

good girl doesnt worry me but I hate being called little one so much my Dom doesnt use that term but many others do and I hate it.

[katydidnt1]

Nothing makes me melt faster...

[Diversified]

I love hearing "good girl", it brings a sense of fulfillment knowing I have done well and please how it was wanted. I HATE "little girl", it is so condescending and I feel childish just having to hear it. I recently voiced this to my dom and of course he uses it to push my buttons ... and this makes me rebel ... only a little though.

[scarlet_85]

I personally strive to hear "good girl" from my Master. By him saying that, I know I'm playing my role to his expectations. In the vanilla world, being told that makes me feel like I'm 2 or something. I think if it bothers you, communicate to your Master and hopefully you guys can find a happy medium. Maybe have "good girl" be a form of punishment instead of a reward.

:)

[His_blizzard]

I love getting a "good girl" from my Master. I suppose if he said good "little" girl it might be annoying, but at my age being called a girl is just fine with me!

[karley]

Good girl is probably my favorite phrase in the English language :)

[Jacee]

I love it, although my Sir has a slightly different version of "good girl", it puts a huge smile on my face.

[Whisperz]

hmmm, as much as i would typically bristle at being spoken to or treated like a child....i must confess that "good girl" are two of my favorite words...

Whisperz