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BDSM_Tourguide
07-05-2004, 05:53 PM
The Five Common Types of Internet Dominants
By BDSM_Tourguide


When spending any amount of time in online BDSM chats and communities, submissives are bound to meet many types of dominants. While there are many fine dominants out there, many submissives will find themselves eventually running into one of the five most common types of internet dominants.

Other types of internet dominants do exist, but these types seem to be the most prolific in many online communities.


Type One: The “Caregiver” – The “caregiver” types of internet dominant is concerned with the well-being of all those around him. He wants to know that everyone is living safe, healthy relationships free of abuse and danger. The caregiver is always available to give another person, most often submissive persons, advice and to offer relationship help or a kind word. Whether the caregiver’s concerns are genuine or not depends upon the specific person. Some caregiver dominants are single and looking for a relationship, and if they have to subtly pirate a submissive away from another dominant by offering good, but somewhat jaded advice, then they sometimes will. Then again, some caregivers are really genuinely concerned for other people, their relationships and their safety. Only by getting to know various caregivers can a submissive determine whether or not the individual is genuine. The good thing about caregivers is that they are always there when someone needs someone to lean on. They usually have a kind word and some good advice. Caregivers are everywhere, too. They can be found in most forums, chats and email groups. Psychologically speaking, a caregiver probably gives advice to serve a need in himself. Whether that need is the need to genuinely help someone or to gain himself a partner is a little blurry sometimes. Caregivers are frequently friendly and are continually referred to as “nice guys” by many of their friends and peers.

Type Two: The “All Knowing, All Seeing” Dominant - Sometimes mistaken for the caregiver and sometimes mistaken for a “normal” dominant, the “All Knowing” dominant is absolutely convinced that he knows everything there is about everything and that he has seen every possible facet of every possible aspect of every possible type of BDSM situation. The all knowing, all seeing dominant is very forceful with his opinions and knowledge and likes everyone to know exactly how much he knows; often, he feels he simply must make people understand everything he knows and will stop at nothing short of total acknowledgement of his vast knowledge. The good thing about the all knowing, all seeing dominant is that he usually really is very well informed and educated about many subjects relating to BDSM. However, he’s just horrible at conveying his information in a non-forceful and direct manner. Psychologically speaking, the all knowing, all seeing dominant is probably a little insecure of himself and overcompensates through lengthy posts in vast areas of knowledge. Unfortunately, there is little difference between an all knowing, all seeing dominant and a “normal” helpful dominant, except in the style of delivery.

Type Three: The “I am Dominant, Hear Me Roar” Dominant – This type of dominant usually spends a good deal of his time strutting about the chat rooms and showing all the submissives what a true dominant he is and how well he can handle any DS situation that arises. The “I am Dominant, Hear Me Roar” type is the walking, talking essence of everything that has ever been dominant. He wants everyone to know it, too. Usually, the “I am Dominant, Hear Me Roar” dominant’s blustering about brands him as a poser to any dominants and submissives with any real experience in the community. The good thing about this type of dominant is that he a shining example of what a dominant shouldn’t be. Any dominant could use him as an example of how not to act. Psychologically speaking, this type of dominant seems to definitely be overcompensating for some kind of shortcoming by blustering his way through every situation. His boisterous attitude probably hides a real lack of actual knowledge.

Type Four: The “MASTER” – The “MASTER” is similar to the “I am Dominant” dominant, but in a different way. The “MASTER” is a stickler for internet typing protocols and internet chat etiquette. Any pronoun directly or indirectly referring to the “MASTER” must be typed in capital letters and any submissives’ or slaves’ names that he types will always be in lowercase letters, without exception. Frequently, this type of dominant insists that any submissive types in the room or community must serve him, as his needs are foremost above all else. The good thing about the “MASTER” is that, once again, he’s a great example of how a dominant should not act. Psychologically speaking, the “MASTER” persona is probably covering up someone that has absolutely no life whatsoever. Anyone as hung up on making sure everyone submits to him, or making sure that all of his pronouns are capitalized, or that every submissive he addresses is lowercased is probably covering up some really hardcore insecurity issues. The one positive aspect of his personality is that he’s a stickler for details. His disciplinary skills are likely to be unparalleled, as he will never miss a submissive not capitalizing a word referring to himself, or lowercasing a word referring to herself. Men almost exclusively make up the “MASTER” personality type, although there are a few women that fit into it as well.

Type Five: The “Dominant, but Submissive” Dominant – This type of dominant is usually dominant to all the female submissives, until one of the female submissives he is talking to turns out to really be a dominant. Then, the “Dominant, but Submissive” dominant becomes instantly submissive and immediately willing to serve that female. Essentially, these people will play whatever role is necessary to get some cyber-sex or cyber-BDSM do they can wank. More than likely they are not even really dominant or submissive, but just internet posers wanting a quick fling or a quick orgasm. The good thing about the “Dominant, but Submissive”? Well, there really isn’t anything good about them. These people are traditionally the ones most involved in giving the internet BDSM community a bad name, because they have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM in the first place. Psychologically speaking, this person is sexually repressed and will look for any opportunity to have cyber-sex. He will ask for a nude picture without hesitation, and frequently will get offended if a suitably nude picture is not provided. This person has no business in a BDSM community, and should be shown a link to the nearest free porn site so he can get what he really wanted to begin with.


Despite the fact that many people will run into these types of dominants while traveling the information superhighway, these are not always what someone will find. Many good dominants exist, but separating the wheat from the chaff is sometimes hard. When dealing with internet dominants, it is best to use common sense and let that determine whether the person to whom you are speaking is really worth your time.

Lord Thomas
07-05-2004, 06:10 PM
Eloquent as always, TG. I just always lumped these guys together in the Dumbs catagory as they are not Doms. Well thought and stated TG.

~LT~

Barton
07-07-2004, 12:24 AM
Good job TG. Very well written.

slavelucy
07-07-2004, 09:57 AM
As well written as this is, i don't agree with it as much as i did with the different types of submissives one. This is for a number of reasons. Firstly in my experience, the lines between types of dominants is much more blurred than between different types of submissives; this is to say i think it's entirely possible that a dominant can be worthy and 'wheat' (not chaff) but still enjoy some degree of etiquette from their own submissive, can still be a little playful in their conduct within a scene. Secondly, i think that what motivates individual dominant personalities is less varied and vast than that which motivates individual submissive personalities. What emerges from the many, many motivations for submission, is a myriad of submissive types, whereas i believe that dominants 'share' many common traits (which i'm not going to state here for fear of offending all dominants the world over..including my own LOL) which whilst still allowing for some differences in type, bring them closer together and blur the edges. i also think that all dominants possess shades of type 3...not to the point of it becoming negative as stated in the description of type three, but IMHO, a well developed ego is a necessary part of being dominant.

Finally, the types of so-called dominants who march around chat rooms, behaving in a manner that is one step away from harrassment, are not fit to even be classed as dominants at all...and as for those who suddenly turn into a sub in cyber..pah, they're just a pain in the arse! (unless of course the sub fancied trying their hand at playing the dom...but this brings me onto switching, a concept i have always struggled to get my head round, not in a critical way, i literally don't understand it).

Anyway, my post is getting nearly as long as yours TG...time to stop methinks. :D

sl

slickroadway
09-14-2004, 04:56 PM
As your writing on the seven internet submissives
well done... thanks agin

Pistol
09-15-2004, 02:07 PM
{First Post at BDSM Library}

What if you don't fit in any of those categories?

BDSM_Tourguide
09-15-2004, 04:18 PM
What if you don't fit in any of those categories?

Then you're just a normal dominant person.

slavelucy
09-16-2004, 08:59 AM
{First Post at BDSM Library}

What if you don't fit in any of those categories?

i think it's entirely possible that you could be a combination of these types...or different (although most would carry shades of these types, i think). As well informed as TG is, it isn't a dominant bible you know! So, i wouldn't fret about it.

sl

Tang
10-15-2004, 02:16 AM
I think one aspect is experience. Many people are exploring the BDSM aspect of their lives in isolation, and the internet provides an outlet from that. No-one is born all knowing, and it often takes years or decades to recognise one's own sexual tastes and even when you do it takes years more to hone them. I think some of these types come from people being inexperienced and not knowing how to handle situations. This is why a website like this is so useful.

I wonder if people see a change over time as the Dominant becomes more knowledgeable and gains experience of how to behave from discussion and from stories. Maybe conversely, it can breed inconsiderate habits, I never really encouraged capitalisation/minisculisation until I had read so many D/s stories with it in. I considered myself a true Dominant but for me, it was sufficient to say 'master' and 'I am your slave', these words carry weight however you type them. Whereas starting out dominants reading so many stories with 'Master' and 'i am your slave' come to feel unless they insist on that they are not a true Dominant.

I accept there are prats and morons out there who like shaking their dicks around in such forums. However, I think we also need to take into consideration that you do not become a highly experienced Dom or sub over night, it takes time and trial and error until you get it right.

Curtis
10-17-2004, 06:01 PM
Good thought, Master Tang.

For slavelucy and Pistol (congratulations on your first post, Pistol -- you were up to six by the time I saw this): I think that Tourguide's being misinterpreted again. (At this point I'm considering applying for a job as Tourguide's translator.) If I've got this right, his "Five Common Types of Internet Dominants" is really a list of five types of poser dominants (or Dumbs, as Lord Thomas puts it so eloquently), and isn't intended to include everyone. The ones who aren't posers would be the 'normal dominants', which label distinguishes them from the 'internet dominants'. (If I'm wrong on that point, then the rest of this post should be considered invalid.)

Assuming that is the case, then I still have to disagree with Tourguide on two points: First, equating internet dominants to poser dominants just seems wrong on the face of it. Aren't you as likely to run into a poser dominant in real life as you are in cyber? Personally, I vote for calling them 'Dumbs'. It's short and to the point; Second, as you all know, I'm not a dominant in any way, shape or form, BUT if I was going to be one, I'd WANT to be a "Caregiver".

[Okay, I've sat here for five minutes trying to figure out how to follow up that last sentence without violating the Code of Conduct, and I can't do it; so, I'll just leave it there.]

BDSM_Tourguide
10-17-2004, 06:56 PM
Assuming that is the case, then I still have to disagree with Tourguide on two points: First, equating internet dominants to poser dominants just seems wrong on the face of it. Aren't you as likely to run into a poser dominant in real life as you are in cyber?


A person is just as likely to be a poser offline as they are on, indeed. However, as this article is geared toward an internet crowd, I only mentioned internet poser types. I plan to do a follow up on this article (if I ever get the time to write anything ever again) and list the major types of real-life poser dominants, and another article listing qualities to look for in a dominant to make it easier to know if they are serious about BDSM, having a submisive, etc. I also plan to write an article about the distinctions in dominant "titles." I did one earlier, but I don't think it really went into the depth in which I wanted it to go. I'll have to look it over again before I decide whether or not to write this one.

Tang
10-18-2004, 04:52 AM
Curtis, yes, I had that thought over the weekend, I was probably slightly mislead by the titling. Maybe I am looking for some outlines of what we should be aspiring to in good practice. There are certainly various types in any community one is part of, but if I thought they were all negative I would feel no interest in being part of that community.

Tourguide, what you propose sounds bang on what I am thinking of. That'll be great.

e.b.
10-18-2004, 05:15 AM
Maybe I am looking for some outlines of what we should be aspiring to in good practice.

Tang,

Welcome to the forums! Your posts are good reads. There actually is a similar thread to what it sounds like you're looking for here: http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2129

Parts of the thread are a bit off-topic, but there are some excellent points about the qualities of a good dom. :)

eb

BDSM_Tourguide
10-30-2004, 03:49 AM
To commemorate the opening of a new section of the Dungeon, I am bumping this and a few other threads to the top of the list.

Have fun reading!