Hello

[SindySub]

I'd just like to say hello to everybody on the site.
I'm a new to all of this.
I guess I've recently got out of a long realationship that seemed perfect...everywhere but in the bedroom. I guess at this point I'm just curious if what I'm looking for is in BDSM.
I would greatly appreciate any advice that anyone might have.

[Utburd]

Hi there,

It looks like youve decided for yourself that youre possibly a sub, well from your nickname anyway.

I guess in this sort of situation, you have to ask your self,


1) why wasnt the bedroom perfect?

2) what would have made it perfect?

reading the stories and forums on this site may help if they don't then its possible that bdsm just isn't for you, if they do, try and identify what it is that gets you going. Afterall its good for you to know what gets you going, because if you are a sub and you find a Dom they will probably want to know too.

Hope that helps,

U.

[Aussiegirl1]

Hi and Welcome.I am sure you will find this site both fun and informative!

[SindySub]

Thanks so much for your input Utburd.

In truth, I've never been good with control. I fear it a little actually, so I'm pretty sure I'm a sub. I could be wrong of course, only time will tell, I suppose.

My bf was never really willing to try anything new. Hated that I needed it a little rough to finish so after a little over 2 years, I never did. Not with him anyways.
As to that second question, I think a little more passion and i guess sense of adventure might have helped. To be honest though, I think I'm here cause I think someone here can tell me.
You're right, the library is a wealth of information.

Thanks again,
Sindy

[SindySub]

Hi and Welcome.I am sure you will find this site both fun and informative!
Thank you!
Yes it very much so is.

[MrDom]

Welcome to the Library

[Tufty]

Hello and :wel to the Forums

[lucy]

Hello and welcome to the forum, Sindy :wave:

Sorry if i'm blunt, but i think getting that answer from others very likely won't work. However, i'm sure there's tons of people here who are willing to help you to find it yourself. Why not try the tasking society as a taskee for a start?

[rosebud]

Hi :wave: Welcome to the Library!

[Ravishher]

to the library. I hope that you'll find lots of things here that will make you smile :)

Rav

[blythe spirit]

:welcomebo

[Utburd]

Hi again Sindy,

Thaks for putting your thoughts up, as Lucy says Tasking may be a good idea, gives you something to explore without being in a relationship.

From what youve said, here are my thoughts;

dont forget there are 6 parts of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline,[Dom and Sub] Sadist, Masochist and that everyone likes them to different levels, (eg Lifestyle or just play depending on how far/deep you want to go)

People dont have to like or enjoy all of them, so to me it sounds like youre more along the line of masochist, and maybe just a touch sub because you like to be on the receiving end.

But again as Lucy says, no one can really help you find what you like aside from helping you experiment, but tbh Ive found that every relationship Ive been in has given me different specific things I like, and that I havent done in another relationship.

but this is a good place to bounce ideas about and read about things that may not have occurred to you before.

I hope you find a way to make progress, and understand what you want a bit better :)

U.

[Diablo]

Welcome, good luck on your journey.

[Domin8or]

Welcome and hope u'll find what u seek

[clipcrop]

There are no absolute answers. A Mentor can help you find YOUR answers.

[SindySub]

I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to post their thoughts and advice for me and my situation. I've looked into the Tasking society as per lucy and Utburd's posts and I'll definetly look into finding a mentor, cause I'm sure I can't do this alone.
Thanks again for all your comments so far!

[Ozme52]

:wel sindy

[denuseri]

wellcome to the site

we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

hope to see more of you soon
have lots of fun exploring the site
hugs and kissess
denu

[DiablosLittleOne]

Welcome to the Library. :)