Questions for all the Doms and Dommes ? [Archive]

dillinja

10-27-2008, 11:04 PM

Its very hard for me to explain whats going through my head. If i sit back and pull away from the scene, its an imense (sp?) feeling of control. Its scary, sexy, lip biting fun. My kitty feels so very small to me, weak, powerless, thrashing around on the bed, bound by ropes, hooded by leather. It all makes me feel evil, sinister, like a mad scientist playing with a toy. Like a cat playing with a mouse. The connection with her is intense, i can anticipate everything she is going to do, control everything she is going to feel...

* sorry im all wound up and my kitty is out of town for the night*

AndreaDawne

10-27-2008, 11:08 PM

Very interesting... thank you very much dillinja!!

dillinja

10-27-2008, 11:10 PM

probably not what you were expecting...im all frisky tonight..god gave me two heads and only enought blood to run one at a time

TwistedTails

10-28-2008, 03:18 AM

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

I don't know if I have helped answer you question in any way. If I have not it may help to think of it as Bambi vs Wolf, from the Wolfs point of view.

Bear

AndreaDawne

10-28-2008, 06:26 AM

Thank you very much Bear for taking your time to answer our questions. And I am starting to understand the way Dom think and feel.
Even tho I sometime am a Dom but I am not deeply involve in myself as a real Dom would be to understands. I only have a couple needs I want when I take control. I am more of a submissive. And I always wondered what they feel or what they think when they are standing infront of their sub. Its to help us understand them a bit and yet don't want to give out to much of themselves.
Thank you very much for yourtime to post here Sir.

blythe spirit

10-28-2008, 09:01 AM

Very interesting question(s), AD. As Doll said, It would be nice to hear from more Dom/mes.

Pearlgem

10-28-2008, 12:46 PM

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

Not gifted with language skills? I think you did a pretty good job. It almost makes me want to be a sadist.......

SubmissiveDoll

10-28-2008, 07:55 PM

I have to agree... you say you aren't gifted with verbal skills, but that was amazing. Yes it was very personal, and I very much want to thank you for sharing. It was beautiful to read, and did actually help a bit in the understanding.

There isn't a BDSM page around that doesn't talk about sub space at least now and then. But, it's very hard to find out anything about Dom space.

I wonder if this is in part because Doms often keep their own council. I find that they don't generally speak unless they have something to say, and are very shrewd with whom they choose to let in. I feel so very blessed that my Master chose me, and allows me to see him for who he is. All his feelings, flaws, and beauty.

Do any of you other Doms feel like Bear, that it's something personal, that you don't really want to share?

I took some time and gave this question a bit of thought.

The first thing I realized was that I have not been gifted with the language skills for the task.

The second was that this is a intensely personal question I stuck my two cents into, and difficult to answer without being a bit revealing. I don't consider myself a "Dom". but rather a sensual sadist. But I do dominate so perhaps one small example may be relevant.

I can be a bit predatory in my approach. First I tell her exactly what I am about to do to her. I enjoy the mixed look of fear and desire in her eyes, savor it like a candy. Once I order her to her pole, I circle as if sizing up my prey, force her to lower her gaze. It is very primal energy I feel at that point something ancient, something hot that makes the blood boil, then its time to violate her space. As I step close behind just not touching. I breath and I wait. The first thing I'm looking for is the tell. whether it be a shiver, short rapid breaths, lip biting, its a tell that says she has just realized she is about to be taken and surrendered to it. Its a delicious moment. I describe it as delicious because it feeds my hunger for the submission. It fans the flames for the possession to come.

I don't know if I have helped answer you question in any way. If I have not it may help to think of it as Bambi vs Wolf, from the Wolfs point of view.

Bear

Lady-Victoria

10-30-2008, 02:40 PM

It is power. It is to be worshiped as I deserve. It is a feeling of being the Goddess that I always am and am so seldom treated as in the day to day world. It is a rush to know that My pleasure is all My sub need worry about. It is My power to give that pleasure back....IF I choose to do so. It is wonderful. It is like christmas. I am given a gift and I enjoy using all of it. *sighs happily*

Diablo

10-30-2008, 03:14 PM

Its an overwhelming sense of wonder, pride and power.

The wonderous beauty of the sub laid bare before you, the wonder that is her strength to let go and fully trust.

Pride in self for finding such a creature and molding her and pride in her for submitting and pleasing me.

The power that lies in knowing you have comlete control over her that your every whim in regards to her will be granted. The Power in the exchange to and from.

Pearlgem

10-30-2008, 03:33 PM

As a sub, I find these fascinating Dom/me responses. I'm going to enjoy rereading this thread many times and having a good ponder about the strangeness of it all. I can understand how it must feel intellectually but I can't quite get there personally. I keep trying to translate how this Dom/me feeling must 'really' feel from a sub's point of view. It feels like reading about strange, mythical creatures; it's fascinating and exciting to share their world in a good story book, but let's get back to the princess in the tower - something we all understand!

God bless you, Dom/mes. Keep on loving what you do to us subs.

AndreaDawne

10-30-2008, 03:45 PM

I agree with you Pearlgem. It does help me to see different views of different Doms/Dommes.
I am very thankful for you all Masters and Mistresses for taking the time to answer this question for us. I think its a great gift to know your answer and to share with us. Thank you very much Masters/Mistresses.

BorderCollie

10-30-2008, 04:26 PM

Hi,
Apart from the obvious, being that there is a great gift in front of me.
There is also the fact that it gets me where I want to go, by ways of my sub/wife having the the her crotch rope sopping wet, the line of moisture running down her leg and the dampness on the top of her stockings, the odd drip on her toes or shoes should she be standing.
Or the massive wet patch shoud she be laying down.This more than anything shows that she too is where she wants to be. Showing me that I'm doing my part right.
The marks around her breasts after the rope is removed, and the colour coming back into them, or the slight marks around her mouth where the tape was removed.
The anticipation, of hoping that nobody notices the rope marks around her ankles, or the knees or her wrists. It's all a very mutual thing, these thing put me even more in love with her.
I also love the feeling of walking along the street knowing what she does, and that other women only "THINK" that have a good life.

I touched on this in another thread, where my wife/sub was listening to one of the girls at work rattle on about BDSM and having no idea there was a sub right there in front of her. She told me that this other girl not having a clue made her feel very NAUGHTY.
There is more, but this is a deep thread.

damyanti

10-31-2008, 12:49 AM

How do you as dom/mes handle and or deal with the responsibility (of being one)? Does it ever get too much? Or do you enjoy it, responsibility and or control?

Mastrovenice

10-31-2008, 12:50 PM

Dom space for me is about serious play, about molding and shaping a piece of female flesh and blood and brain into the beauty that is a submissive woman. A bound woman to me is the most beautiful piece of art.

Sometimes it's about control, the heady rush of having a sub at your feet. Other times its about the feedback loop of pain and pleasure: I inflict the pain which she turns into pleasure, which gives me pleasure, so I cause more pain. Is is also about empathy. Her intensity of emotion and arousal spikes a response in my own. To quote a famous politician, I feel her pain.

And to Damyanti's question, sometimes I get lost in the responsibility for my sub's experience. It can be a big burden to be creative in setting and maintaining a scene with the pacing of a broadway show. It can actually be stressful. There are times that I realize I am focusing too much on HER desires and often leave mine out. While it may seem that being Dom is a selfish act, it isn't always.

As always, this really just scratches the surface, and like so many things BDSM related, its so personal that to generalize is almost pointless.

MissTrishNow

10-31-2008, 06:41 PM

So depends on how we are playing...
Fun play where I am all about pleasure, I am thinking of my pleasure and how to keep her from hers until I am ready for her release.

Discipline is different. I am considering her infraction against previous infractions plus future ones that could occur if we don't extinquish this bad behavior. I am searching for the right level of submission/pain. I am calculating how to keep her from reaching her threshold so she doesn't forget the punishment yet not going on so long that we lose after care time.

I usually don't reflect on the gift of her body until later.

voxelectronica

11-02-2008, 11:57 PM

I once asked a Dom of mine this same question and he responded with "I feel like I'm about to loose control". I thought this was a really odd response. Dom's are supposed to always be in control. Why wouldn't he just let himself loose control? After all I am there for his pleasure right?

When I opened myself up to being a Dom (a very transforming experience I might add). I understood how he felt. I feel like I'm trying to hold chaos itself. There is a person who can easily walk away rather than submit. There is a person who can hate everything that you are about. There is a person who has their own needs, wants, desires etc. This person then does the most beautiful thing in the world and gives them all to you, for you to put them all together. It is like molding clay, or writing a story, or painting. Describing how it feels to Dom someone is like describing your favorite song. It should make you feel everything.

Sometimes you do have to step back and examine what's going on. Take all the pieces and put them in perspective. That's what helps me stay in control of myself when it gets to be to much. When a slut is doing their job, of teasing, of being inviting, of begging for it. That's when I have to do my job of staying firm to giving them what they need most of all, structure.

So I understand what my old Dom meant. I was doing my job i was making him want to join me in my wanton desires. The problem in that is that losing that control is a very non Dominant thing to do. So with a good sub, I always FEEL tested as a Dom.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone other than me and him.

Oak

11-03-2008, 03:39 AM

:cayvvotg:
Ups nasty question! How to reply on that so it's understandable and then in foreign language... Well I'll give it my best shot.
First there of course is the control. I've got this girl, all tied up and helpless. I can do what ever I want to her. She is totally in my power and mercy. I know that I'll have to control yourself and stay inside the limitations.
Next I feel pride, love and thrust. Not to mention very honoured. Knowing that she love and thrust me enough to le me put her in this helpless situation and know that I wont harm her.

AndreaDawne

11-06-2008, 08:36 AM

I want to thank everyone for your support on this thread. And I indeed learn a lot. Doms and Dommes all have same and different sayings. Very interesting to know how their mind works as they Dominate their slaves.
Again guys thank you for sharing your thoughts and words.

Daddy54

11-07-2008, 07:11 AM

I Feel Pride. Pride in Myself for being able to Capture and Hold my Sub in MY Control in all Matters. Pride in the Fact that I can Give my Sub what my Sub Needs and Requires and Do so Effectively. Pride in the Knowledge that my Subs Look to me for Guidence when Needed. Pride in MY Subs for Their Devotion and Trust they Give me by their Total Submission. Pride in the Knowledge that My Subs will Do for me ALL that I Require and Do So Willingly. And Last but Most Surely Not the Least. Pride in the Knowledge that Each of My Subs have Grown to Love and Respect me. I am Not Much on Answering these Types of Questions because I Usually Ask the Questions and Do the Telling. But I Figured since this is My First Post. Why Not. Brave of you to Ask Such a Question of the Doms/Dommes.

ash_DREAMING

12-23-2008, 09:12 PM

I'll be watching this thread... I hope more Dom/mes respond. It's very enlightening.

BelovedPet

12-24-2008, 08:59 AM

I'll be watching this thread... I hope more Dom/mes respond. It's very enlightening.

Ditto! Very interesting stuff. Thanks to all who've responded.

b

Lisais mine

12-24-2008, 11:17 AM

okay, this is hard for me. I've tried a few time, but i'll do it. now.

I am consumed by her. she fills my every thought. when I am alone, I am trying to think about what I can do for her, to open her more, to help her, to show her more. I think about her needs- about her fantasies- and I work towards giving those things to her.

when she is there obeying me, I feel like a king. I absolutly love the way that she is mine. that she is ready for my slightest whim thrills me. Her desire to please me feels like the greatest man in the world.

now when we are in scene, I feel... hungry. I want all of her. I want to push her, make her feel something she has never felt before. I want to hear her gasp and whimper, I want to tease her with my cock till she begs- I want to block out the world until reality only consists of her and I and then we become one....

the second question- how do i deal with the responsibility?
I love it. i really enjoy taking care of her. one of our favorite non sexual things to do is to pick out clothes for her online...She is wonderful, and because of that wonder, i want to do these things for her.

SilverWulf

01-02-2009, 10:56 AM

What I feel ...

Absolute, all consuming responsibility

Total Control

Overwhelming Love

Sheer Pride

Trust

Devotion

The world fades away into the deep background. A bomb could go off in the next room and I wouldn't notice. My attention is on her and her only. Her responses, her body language, her whimpers, screams, and moans of both pleasure and pain. Nothing else matters.

I am trying to rope a tornado, herd cats, and play a violin concerto all at the same time.

I will take my pleasure only when I have taken her to where I want her to go. Sometimes I decide this ahead of time, other times I simply go with the feelings and see what happens during the scene.

Last, but not least, there is the fear. Abject terror. Fear strong enough to turn my stomach and make my heart skip a beat. Yes, FEAR. Fear that I will harm her, fear that I will make a mistake, fear that something will go wrong and I will break the trust I hold so dear. Fear that I will push her too far. Fear that I won't go far enough. And the thought that terrifies me more than anything else. Fear that I will lose her.

Best of all, all those fears are put to rest when I look into her eyes and see the total devotion, trust, surrender, and love.

satisfied

01-02-2009, 11:29 AM

I love You too.

What I feel ...

Absolute, all consuming responsibility

Total Control

Overwhelming Love

Sheer Pride

Trust

Devotion

The world fades away into the deep background. A bomb could go off in the next room and I wouldn't notice. My attention is on her and her only. Her responses, her body language, her whimpers, screams, and moans of both pleasure and pain. Nothing else matters.

I am trying to rope a tornado, herd cats, and play a violin concerto all at the same time.

I will take my pleasure only when I have taken her to where I want her to go. Sometimes I decide this ahead of time, other times I simply go with the feelings and see what happens during the scene.

Last, but not least, there is the fear. Abject terror. Fear strong enough to turn my stomach and make my heart skip a beat. Yes, FEAR. Fear that I will harm her, fear that I will make a mistake, fear that something will go wrong and I will break the trust I hold so dear. Fear that I will push her too far. Fear that I won't go far enough. And the thought that terrifies me more than anything else. Fear that I will lose her.

Best of all, all those fears are put to rest when I look into her eyes and see the total devotion, trust, surrender, and love.

SeX-FiENd

01-13-2009, 03:45 PM

I was reading through these replies wondering should I really respond? It's actually QUITE an open ended question don't you think? It's like asking what do you think when you have Sex? or every time you kiss?? It's neither the same emotion, nor thoughts that cross my mind EVERY time I do a scene. It also changes with what sub is with me at the time and what exactly I'm doing to them. The only thing I feel that never changes is the feeling of enjoyment I get with every reaction I get. Cause what would be the point if I NEVER got an reaction? I think the question should be a BIT more specific to get the answers that you're looking for.

cagedbutterfly

02-27-2009, 08:02 PM

Reading this thread is enlightening for a new sub. Thanks for sharing!

Dr_BuzzCzar

02-28-2009, 07:30 AM

Aware
(I seem to be more aware of everything; her skin, her breathing, her mental state, her acceptance or not, her muscle tone and tension, etc.)

Power
(No other word for it. I feel an infusion of power that she is totally in my hands, she absolutely trusts me.)

Arousal
(Yes , yes, yes.)

Responsibility
(The counterbalance to the power surge. Yes, I can do whatever I please but I'm responsible for her and must act accordingly.)

Admiration
(Wow, she's taking a lot, she has given over her very existence to me, lots of trust.)

Respect
(I will not scene with anyone that I don't respect. I'm old-school so Honor and Respect are very big, important words.)

Creativity
( For lack of a better term, the mental juices start flowing and things come to me on the fly that don't necessarily come to me in the planning.)

Determination
(I will do this right, I will take her where I want her to be.)

Pride
(yep, I'm proud of my abilities and make no apologies for it.)

At times giddy, at times amused, at times solemn, at times all of the above at varying points.

Kuskovian

02-28-2009, 10:53 AM

The serenity of being one with the soul of my love.

To hold the world in my hands, for my girl is the world to me.

When I compliment her submission and joy with wisdom and resolve it is the ancient dance of primal dominion from time imortal.

It brings me peace.

It is both overwhelming and terrible, enlightening and uplifting.

It is the greatest of responsibilities.

It is the greatest of joys.

SubmissiveDoll

03-02-2009, 07:49 AM

I have to say that this is one of my favorite threads to read. All the wonderful and honest responses from the Dominants. Every word makes me proud to be a sub. Thank you all for sharing.

Belgarold

03-02-2009, 11:07 AM

I think Dr. BuzzCzar's response closely resembles my experience. Especially the respect and love at taking in hand this wonderful gift that has been given me.

But I will start my experience by saying that I perform improvisational theater. We never know what we are going to say on stage but it always seems to work, because we know each other so well.

Working with a loved and respected sub is the same experience for me. Before we get together I can be nervous and start to worry that I am not up to the challenge (just like before a show) and then when we begin I am totally in the moment.

I may have a plan at the beginning but it changes as we continue. Because I am reacting to all the sensory input. I am totally focused on her (Of course I am excited, but my focus is on her excitement). We are working together to bring us both extreme pleasure.

As for my friend, damyanti's question, I enjoy the responsibility. And it thrills me that this person has put all her trust in me. That I am going to take care of her need for pain or discipline or control, while keeping her safe and happy and excited beyond measure and that excitement is going to excite me beyond measure.

And I want to add that, like the good Dr., respect is essential and love is being built and nurtured as well.

I hope this helps.

MISTRESS H

12-13-2009, 08:31 PM

When you are dominating your sub or slave, what is going thru your mind? And how does it make you feel?

To be honest, there are several things that go through my mind, it all has to do with What, When, Where, and How?

I for one, do not have the slave/sub bound, He knows his place, and what he is to do when being punished. But when I am punishing him/them, I wonder if it is enough, does it make the point that they need to learn.

For me, that is the most impotant thing, of course I know depending on the slave/sub and his/her taste for pain, that 50% of the time, it is just a result of their own needs and desires.

Again, the point is to instill obedience, formost and utmost, not just the pleasure of the Mistress or dom.

kurious-kitten{KM}

02-04-2010, 01:21 PM

I have to say that this is one of my favorite threads to read. All the wonderful and honest responses from the Dominants. Every word makes me proud to be a sub. Thank you all for sharing.

i soooo agree. :)

quite kink

02-04-2010, 07:29 PM

this thread is one of the better threads ive read. thanx for starting it ive read so many post that in way or another describe how i feel for my girl so completely againe thanx for starting ti i will be keeping an eye on this one.

Secret_Salope

02-14-2010, 08:02 AM

To answer the main thread...
My husband and I have been progressively taking things to new levels in our new bdsm life. We only do sessions on occassion, and when we do I'm his Mistress. At first I was very squeemish. I had no idea what I was doing in our bedroom play, and when he expressed his desire to be humiliated I was scared. Terrified that I would mentally break him or that he'd hate me for name calling him, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I wasn't really embracing the Domme side of me. Because from the first time he told me about his desires I was soaking wet with desire. When I finally decided to go all out and humiliate him... There's a switch that's flipped inside me when I'm his Mistress. I go from being my strong independant self with a dead end job and a house to clean and a son to take care of and trying to be the perfect wife.... And I just let go. I let everything that's going on with me mentally/physically and I become this sexual sadist/predator that doesn't give a fuck what any one person wants. That totally focuses on what I want and then allow my bitch to do a small thing that he wants. Like undo one hand from the bed restraints so he can touch me for 5 secinds wherever he wants after I've face fucked him until he almost vomits. Or allow him to choose where he's tied down when he comes after I've fucked his ass with a strap on until he cried making me climax so hard I had to take a 3 minute break and leave him tied up bent over our hotel bed. I have done/said things while being Mistress that I had NO CLUE I even knew about. Like cucking... I had no idea how hot I thought it would be until he was gagged and bound, and I was whispering wickedly how the only thing he would ever be good for is my fluffer. I love how much trust he has in me that I won't go too far, and at the same time hopes I do new things and go too far. It makes me feel like an even stronger person. I'm on such a power high that I can't come down for days.

Hope that helped :)

How do you as dom/mes handle and or deal with the responsibility (of being one)? Does it ever get too much? Or do you enjoy it, responsibility and or control?

Right before a session I am damn near always scared. Even though I know he wants me to do wixked things to him, there's always a small fear that I'll be in control when something goes wrong. That's always scary. But it also adds to the build up of the whole thing. Just because We Dom/es walk around with confidence and act like we know eactly what we're going to do, doesn't mean we don't love our subs and don't worry for them.

Odysseus

02-14-2010, 07:21 PM

how do I feel, when I am dominating another?......hmmmm I guess the first two words that come to mind are... power and responsibility. When one takes that leap of faith and submits and Wwe both get to feel that power exchange, it is indeed a strong, and intense sensation. Of having that power, of leading and having her follow. Yet there is also a sense of responsibility. Something that comes with the ability of dominating another. For Me, there is a definite line between dominating and domineering- a line that I have no desire to cross. And so, while I WILL lead, while I WILL dominate, while I will experience the power exchange, I will also at the same time remember to to responsible.

shrugs, wondering if that made any sense...

_Odysseus

Jennifer Williams

04-04-2010, 11:27 PM

I can only post this because he isn't here to read it.

Don't tell him, but it's all about him.

His little gasp, his little squeak, his deep moan when his eyes disappear into the back of his head when I know I've "gotten it right" (a phrase I've heard many Dominants use; it is for me the prime goal and the most difficult thing to attain), is everything.

The pressure to create is immense. I am the artist, he is the canvas. If I don't do anything, nothing happens. The tendency to repeat makes life difficult because if I've done this before, then he knows what's coming, and that gets boring very quickly. My focus is on his sensation- he needs to know I'm there, he needs to feel my power, he needs to know my control.

What do I need? Mmmmmm...his submission is so delicious; his agreement that yes, he wants this, yes, he craves this, when I put my hand to his body and he moves towards me no matter what may come; he isn't tied because I forced him there, but because he went there willingly.

When I look down at him all tied up with ropes and he gazes up at me with adoration, not fear, that is what makes my heart melt. To have him totally under my power, completely at my mercy, would all mean nothing without his complete and total trust. His trust is what makes him so precious.

In summary, what is going through my mind the whole time are my concerns about what is going through his mind. What he's feeling, what he's thinking. He is not allowed to keep feelings from me, he is not allowed to keep thoughts from me; I cannot create a work of art that is beautiful for us both if he is withholding information. I cannot trust him that he consents if he keeps thoughts to himself.

This is absolutely impossible to explain *sigh*

jeanne

04-05-2010, 04:58 AM

This is absolutely impossible to explain *sigh*

I think you explained your thoughts and feelings quite well. :)

Jennifer Williams

04-06-2010, 12:10 AM

Oh. Well, thank you. :)

Odysseus

05-05-2010, 06:53 PM

what goes thru My mind?

hmmmmmm. The obvious is the control thing.That makes Me feel good. To know that I have the ability to control another. There is also a heightened sense of responsibility. Making sure that the outcome of the session is what I want, and not an unforeseen incident.

But what I really like and look for is the ability to have her focus entirely on Me. To leave all stray thoughts aside. To have her lose her inhibitions, to lose all limits and even rational thinking. To simply DO as she is told..................gosh thats such a turn on!

-Odysseus

MistressMallory

05-06-2010, 12:59 PM

His little gasp, his little squeak, his deep moan when his eyes disappear into the back of his head when I know I've "gotten it right" (a phrase I've heard many Dominants use; it is for me the prime goal and the most difficult thing to attain), is everything.

The pressure to create is immense. I am the artist, he is the canvas. If I don't do anything, nothing happens. The tendency to repeat makes life difficult because if I've done this before, then he knows what's coming, and that gets boring very quickly. My focus is on his sensation- he needs to know I'm there, he needs to feel my power, he needs to know my control.

Jennifer -- you completely put into words how I feel about My Pet when it comes to the bedroom. I love testing and pushing limits, but only because I know she loves when I do it. I am not doing this for Myself, but for her reaction...it is her reaction that is such a turn-on to Me. I love to make her squirm, whether it be from pain (I am a bit of a sadist) or pleasure (though that's sadistic too), and my favorite thing to force on her is the "talking rule". This rule, basically, entails that she speak throughout the entire experience, telling me when I'm doing something she likes, what she wants, etc. My mind needs that, because I need to feel as though I'm in total, complete control.

I have so little control over most of my life that knowing that I can silence her with a word or a look is precious. Not because I want to be mean, or cruel, but because that feeling of relief that comes with being in charge is so immense, and because I know she appreciates and understands that and is willing to submit to me in part to help me ease the strain of feeling worthless and powerless.

But mostly what's going through my head when she's tied to the bed is: what can I do to get her to make that delicious moaning noise? ;)

WyldWyl

05-06-2010, 04:26 PM

I think the other doms have covered most of how I feel; the pride, the sexual rush, the connectedness, the feeling like a king. The only I'd like to add is that I feel an incredible amount of focus when I hit my space. I have the kind of brain that never really stops thinking, quite beyond my conscious direction- when I go into my dom space, it's one of the very few times that it focuses on one thing: this moment I'm sharing with my pet. For someone who's accustomed to three or more fairly unrelated trains of thought at any one time, it's really wonderfully peaceful.

socal_dan

05-07-2010, 04:51 PM

I haven't played in long enough that this thread actually brings back a lot. I'm not unaccustomed to the feeling of power and responsibility in daily life, nor being the center of attention. So I don't particularly notice those things during a scene... they're just not "different" from what I'm often feeling anyway.

A lot of what I do feel though is dependent on what we're doing. For instance if we were to go out and she had a plug in her ass, what I'm feeling most of the time is a sense of amusement. I think that's true most of the time I'm acting as a Dom not in an actual setting. Seeing the reaction to commands, or watching her squirm for no apparent reason, and knowing something nobody else in the room knows... and most would be shocked by. That for me is both insanely arousing and amusing.

Most of the time I feel a deep affection for my sub, and that plays into the mixture of fear and... what Jenn said, it being all about her. Despite the attitude that she's "there for my pleasure", really, nothing is more important to me than that she enjoys the experience. I want her to like it, I want her to ask for more, and to want to do it again, and I want her to be satisfied at the end of it.

My biggest fears are something going wrong and hurting her, and at the end of it hearing something like "Well, that wasn't very good." The last is probably closely related to the same sexual fear almost every guy has though, I imagine.

Also, during after care... I get this incredibly sense of emotional peace. Like I've broken down some of the emotional support in my sub, and there's this need emanating from them for additional support and love. It's really comforting to me to be that support after a scene, it makes me calm and incredibly happy. I think it allays my personal vanilla insecurities, which seem to disappear in a scene, and for a while afterwards.

Jennifer Williams

05-07-2010, 10:34 PM

Thank you for your compliments Mallory; going along with what you said and also WyldWyl's comment, I have to agree that there is nothing quite as stress relieving as dominating a scene. I find my mind become so sharply focused on my sub so that all the worries of the day vanish and I no longer care about them; I care only about him and getting those delicious noises (and other reactions). And then afterwards, like social_dan said, the way he cuddles like he needs me for his very being to survive; oh, it's precious beyond words.

Also Mallory, I like the idea of your "talking rule", but I know I could never get that to be successful out of my little one; he's not so very good at talking in the first place and then once we start a session, whatever verbal skills he had dissipate like smoke.

He has lots of different other noises he makes, though, which are almost like words in themselves.