How'd you meet your Dom?

[wind_dancer{W_W}]

For those subs that met their Doms without the help of internet, i am interested in hearing how you both met.........

[hissexypet]

We met when we were 15. We grew up in the same town, went to school together, graduated in the same class. I had a HUGE crush on him back then and he liked me but we didn't know that at the time. We didn't find that out till 2 years agi, I was looking at classmates.com one day and saw his name. I had moved away with my family after graduation from HS and he stayed there. I hadn't thought about him in yrs, looked at his profile and emailed him. He of course remembered me and we started emailing back and forth. Within a couple of months and a lot of catching up after 30 yrs we became more than just friends. Thru all our email and chats and me not coming right out and telling him that I was a submissive he knew. Must be that Domdar, lol. And like they say the rest is history. Its still mind blowing at times for both of us, who would of thought that when we were 15 and that this would have happened between us 30 yrs later. But I don't think that we could be any happier that it happened.

[lucy]

We've been "matched" by a mutual friend who knew about our BDSM-interests. The first encounter was so awkward ...
But i reckon i owe that friend much more than i can ever hope to "pay" back.

[denuseri]

The following is taken from a post I made in another thread deling with this topic found by following the following link:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16077

i guess for me things really started the nite i saw my owner and his wife in a club downtown in the city where i was going to nursie nurse school, i was very intrigued by the collar and leash she had on not to mention the handcuffs, (it was a goth-industrial rave bar so her attire wasnt so out of place, i ran in to her needing help in the bathroom later that nite and gave her a hand after which i was invited back to thier booth, we had a great time, and i ended up going home with them that nite for a nitecap, it was the start of a wonderful relationship with them that was cut short when they had to move overseas (he was in the military at the time)

i had subbmissive tendencies before that but never had really pursued anything at all bdsm related before (they were goreans btw), after them i was kinda restless, and couldnt find anyone really into my kink, a brief relationship with a few different vanilla guys and girls,

i lucked up and found a domme quite by accident at work she had invited me out for drinks a couple of times and we got on well for a few months but she was way too militant anti-guy for me ,

then one day i kinda converted a nilla guy to the world of spanking my hinnie, but i had no real idea how to get him to dom up, finally we found an older dom that started to show us the ropes which for us was a mistake at the time as the old guy kinda swept me right out from under my bf at the time, he took me to fancy resterants, high level society balls, the sympony etc etc even a few bdsm play parties for the rich, showed me his stables (he was trying to groom me to be a ponygirl), it was lots of fun but i baulked when he wanted it to go to the extreme of like actually living in his barn full time with his brace of other girls (one of which was a friend of mine that hooked me up with him to begin with), he kept pushing and esculating the power exchange to fast for me so i ran off

i traveled for a while and took a big break from the scene

later i got burned out when i came back to the states and kept looking for the right guy or woman to dom.domme me, and allways falling shy of what i really needed, eventually i went online which didnt turn out very well at all (see the abuse victums support thread for that story), but ultimately it all turned out for the good as it eventually lead me back into the arms of my first and now current owner where i am today, a well trainned and satisfied girl keeping the k in kajira

who says yu cant find love
__________________

[guest010609]

We met in 1995. He was the best friend of my then-boyfriend. We fell in lust at first sight & fell in love over the course of a year. We did not do anything physical at all until the week that we decided we were positive that we wanted to be together and actually verbalized our love for each other. We kissed a couple of times that day, and a couple days later I broke it off with his friend. It was only after we were already a couple that we discovered we had compatable kinks and sexual proclivities. Neither of us had ever been in a bdsm relationship before and didn't know where to begin (especially in a small town in PA, in 1996). However, we jumped right in and spent the next few years figuring it out. We married in 1999 and have kids. By the way, I was 18 when we met and he was 21, so while there are certainly many wisdoms to gain with age and experience, I always go out of my way to treat 18 -25 year olds in bdsm with a great deal of acceptance and helpfulness. I know that they aren't always treated too nicely, or taken very seriously in the lifestyle, and I think that's horrible because these are some very lucky people who know what they need and want at a young age. Anyway, enough soap boxing! :) That is how we met!

[guest010609]

We met when we were 15. We grew up in the same town, went to school together, graduated in the same class. I had a HUGE crush on him back then and he liked me but we didn't know that at the time. We didn't find that out till 2 years agi, I was looking at classmates.com one day and saw his name. I had moved away with my family after graduation from HS and he stayed there. I hadn't thought about him in yrs, looked at his profile and emailed him. He of course remembered me and we started emailing back and forth. Within a couple of months and a lot of catching up after 30 yrs we became more than just friends. Thru all our email and chats and me not coming right out and telling him that I was a submissive he knew. Must be that Domdar, lol. And like they say the rest is history. Its still mind blowing at times for both of us, who would of thought that when we were 15 and that this would have happened between us 30 yrs later. But I don't think that we could be any happier that it happened.

Wow, great story!!!!

[shayna{L_D}]

From here, he was my best friend. We met on my birthday (halloween) and that rest is history :)

[Pearlgem]

In real life? NOT on line?? The mind boggles at the chances of that happening to me...

(No known radar for picking up Domly vibes, no idea if I give off sub ones)

[shayna{L_D}]

In real life? NOT on line?? The mind boggles at the chances of that happening to me...


In real life its a lot harder, you have to put yourself out there, and its a 50 50 shot. Believe me its happened to me before, where i had a boyfriend ( i actually still work with him *Sighs*) and i had to tell him, 'look i want you to tie me up, spank me and call me a dirty slut" he didnt take it to lightly.. I didnt say it in that way but that was what i was thinking lol. I was embaressed becuase he thought i was weird, and or strange. So i broke up with him a few months later becuase he didnt take heed to my advice. I cannot have a vanilla relationship anymore, it just doesnst work. *shrugs* that god for internet!

[guest010609]

In real life its a lot harder, you have to put yourself out there, and its a 50 50 shot. Believe me its happened to me before, where i had a boyfriend ( i actually still work with him *Sighs*) and i had to tell him, 'look i want you to tie me up, spank me and call me a dirty slut" he didnt take it to lightly.. I didnt say it in that way but that was what i was thinking lol. I was embaressed becuase he thought i was weird, and or strange. So i broke up with him a few months later becuase he didnt take heed to my advice. I cannot have a vanilla relationship anymore, it just doesnst work. *shrugs* that god for internet!

I agree, it is a tough conversation to have in r/l. And usually it ends badly. Before my Master and I got together, I had confessed my desires to 3 previous boyfriends, and a few "would-bes". You're right- they all looked at me like I was a wacko. (This was between the ages of 13-18, btw.) Because of my honesty with the first boyfriend at 13, I was outed to my entire jr/sr high school AND all the faculty AND my parents, their spouses, my grandparents etc. It was a nightmare. BUT- even taking ALL that into consideration, I still think meeting in r/l rather than the internet is best. When you meet a person online, 9x out of 10, the most discussed topics before becoming a couple are relating to sex, s&m, D/s, etc. There is often little to the relationship except those aspects. I am only speaking from my experience here, but my experience really is considerable because all of our poly relationships and many, many could-have-been poly relationships started online. Even though we always made it a policy to try to get to know the girls beyond these levels, AND even though we quickly progressed from online to r/l with them, the relationships were very shallow and hollow by comparison to the relationship my Master and I share. I don't mean to upset anyone or be judgemental of other peoples' relationships. I just feel that the internet is NOT all it's cracked up to be when trying to establish anything more than a friendship. Even then, it's chance-y. JMHO.

[shayna{L_D}]

I still think meeting in r/l rather than the internet is best. When you meet a person online, 9x out of 10, the most discussed topics before becoming a couple are relating to sex, s&m, D/s, etc. There is often little to the relationship except those aspects. I am only speaking from my experience here, but my experience really is considerable because all of our poly relationships and many, many could-have-been poly relationships started online.

Jsyk, you didnt upset me or hurt my feelings. I am with someone now, who i met from the library, we started as best friends. We talk about other things other then D/s and s&m. Our relationship does not revole around Bdsm in the slighest. Do we talk about it? Yes. Are we D/s? When needed, as in we dont go out the house shoving it in others faces' lol. We are like a normal couple, we talk about other things then D/s, or bdsm. I am sorry you were called out in front of the people you wanted to hide it form the most, that can always be hard. But i do kinda of agree that most o/l relationship that grow into r/l relationship could revolve around just D/s, but for me and him its different. like i said before we are normal, we do normal things lol. I also know plenty of people from this library that have gone from o/l to r/l that are in normal healthy relationships where there whole relationship isnt tetering on D/s.

:)

[guest010609]

Jsyk, you didnt upset me or hurt my feelings. I am with someone now, who i met from the library, we started as best friends. We talk about other things other then D/s and s&m. Our relationship does not revole around Bdsm in the slighest. Do we talk about it? Yes. Are we D/s? When needed, as in we dont go out the house shoving it in others faces' lol. We are like a normal couple, we talk about other things then D/s, or bdsm. I am sorry you were called out in front of the people you wanted to hide it form the most, that can always be hard. But i do kinda of agree that most o/l relationship that grow into r/l relationship could revolve around just D/s, but for me and him its different. like i said before we are normal, we do normal things lol. I also know plenty of people from this library that have gone from o/l to r/l that are in normal healthy relationships where there whole relationship isnt tetering on D/s.

:)

I'm very happy that your relationship sounds very solid and diverse! :) To be honest, this particular website has an exceptionally different "feel" to it that other sites I have frequented. Thus I have reason to think that perhaps your relationship may not even be the exception to the rule- for ppl who meet here. There are a few sites though (not wanting to name names here) where the relationships have a huge, copious failure rate. As I said though, perhaps the ratio is better here due to the very nature of this site being so different from others. Maybe because it is a site built around literature, writing, communication and linguistics, as opposed to sites that are built around personal ads and just happen to have forums. I don't know... anyway, thank you for your reply! :)

[Pearlgem]

To be honest, this particular website has an exceptionally different "feel" to it that other sites I have frequented. Maybe because it is a site built around literature, writing, communication and linguistics, as opposed to sites that are built around personal ads and just happen to have forums.

Don't have experience of other sites to say for sure, MB, but that's a very good point you make. Like many others, I was an inveterate story reader on here long before I joined. Also, you are allowed generous access to the site without being a member at all, especially to the forums where you can learn a great deal. Oh, but the joy when you finally (and incredibly easily) join up and get to meet the 'stars' in chat and you can join in!
But you're right, MB, there is a great deal going on here above and beyond 'just' BDSM which gives it a real feeling of community.

Sorry to go off topic a bit.

[thepast]

I met T here on the site, in the chatroom to be precise. O/l? Sorta-- that's where we initially were introduced... but I only chatted w/Him in the room originally because there was a r/l meet plan (under other auspices... LONG story for another day lol), and the rest, as they say, is history. We now are happy, together & just celebrated my 3 yr collaring anniversary.

R/l meets are sometimes easier then o/l because you get that initial "is it going to work" done with in the first few minutes of talking with someone. That being said, r/l sometimes also puts up more obstacles to finding people w/matching kink & lifestyle theories, so it can be a far more tedious process. In r/l, your sample size for a partner is also probably smaller initially (based on geography), whereas o/l gives you a wider breadth.

If you are looking for a r/l match, I would recommend your local munch or dungeon (which usually requires attending a munch or meeting first)... and if you don't click w/that group, keep hunting...

Other sites like collarme.com, alt.com are more geared towards personals then our site is-- so that is why they give off a different "vibe." They are more like looking through the classifieds, whereas we are more like reading through the rest of the newspaper... different techniques, different purposes. The "classifieds" sites do have great people that are looking for matches--normal, non-scary people :) You just have to dig for them... and it can be frustrating & a lot of work.

A cautionary note: sometimes that first r/l meet with an o/l potential match is disasterous because you both have fantasies that aren't going to be reflected in reality... keep your expectations under control & reasonable, and you should be good to go :)

Good luck!

[SubmissiveDoll]

Hmmm, does it count if we met online, and then became friends r/l? We were r/l friends for around 6 years before we started dating... Dunno!

[fairyjester]

to kinda add to doll's does it count if it was online but not at a meeting type online place??

[bpqueen]

I met my Master years ago at a local convention through a mutual friend, but we only recently began to spend any real time together (after we spent some time together at a more recent convention). I never imagined that I had a submissive inside of me, but the moment he trailed his fingertips up my bare arm, entwined them in my hair and forced me to look into his eyes, I was His. Last night we formalized this, and I am so excited! I never dreamed that he could fill this void that I suspected that I had, and I am looking forward to learning to serve.

[hislilslut2008]

We met right after i had ended the most abusive relationship possibe, i was wimpering at the smokers road, he came up to me and said "hey there little kitten, don't cry baby." i swung out to hit him, for what right did he have to call me baby or kitten? He cought my fist and smiled. he said something to the point of "kitten has stong paws". i decked him in the face, some how he kissed me. We have been together since.

[SubmissiveDoll]

I'm with fairyjester... we are sorta in the same boat on this one. lol

[TwstdKittie]

He's actually the younger brother of one of best friends. We didn't meet with the intention of Him becoming my Dom in any way. Actually started out just as really good friends and decided we couldn't fight the romantic feelings anymore, then as we talked more and explored the feelings, we found that we were perfect for each other in EVERY way. He's rather inexperienced at being a Dom, which makes Him nervous, but I find that it seems to come to Him more easily than He thinks.

[cattus9]

We were the cheesy high school sweethearts who dated the whole time; but we were never the innocent couple everyone thought we were hehe
We've lasted after school though and even though he lives hours away now I know, even though I'm young, he's definitely the one for me :)