Punishing Subs

[EinJuice]

I have seen many subs try and manipulate, covertly rebel, or push at boundries. They do this for many reason. I think the main reason that they do it is just another way of learning about their Dom. Regardless of their reasons, it is still an act that deserves punishment. Her actions very subtle and hard to explain so i will try my best. After we have discussed something i ill make my decision. She then begins to pout and push back, trying to get me to change my mind. Or i could tell her this is what i want and when i want it by. I wont get it by the deadline, but shortly after. I am some what new to the BDSM lifestyle, and i wish to make my sub happy, however, certain behaviors are unacceptable and she knows it. My sub loves to be tied up, loves movement restrictions, spanking, whips, chains, ice cubes, water. Pain, makes her smile, wax, makes her whimper in pleasure. I WILL NOT use humiliation on my sub. I respect her to much and i know that is not the kind of treatment she desires, nor deserves. The only punishments i have found that work for her are strick words, time out in the corner, or i stop talking to her for an ammount of time to show my displeasure. However, these are all harsh punsihments not deserving of a minor(atleast imo) infraction such as this. I am looking for ideas that may help me out. Every punishment i have for her, to her is severe... and i dont wish to hurt her. I wish to teach her her proper place, nothing more. I dont wish to take it further than it needs to go. LOL in my eye i see me as pleading now for help in this situation. My question is this. Can anyone suggest some ideas that may help me keep her in line.

[jeanne]

I just want to say - kudos to you for asking for guidance, and realizing that giving her what she loves is not an effective punishment.

[BelovedPet]

Perhaps you see the punishments as overly harsh but maybe she doesn't. Maybe she is acting out because she craves/needs the punishments. If this is the case, maybe you can ask her to write a list of what she considers to be punishments, and you might be surprised.

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[Ozme52]

Perhaps you need to determine what would be pleasurable rewards and reward good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior.

As you suggest, ignoring her is a harsh punishment, but rather than hold that over her head, just tell her if she wants a "fill in the many blanks" she needs to perform for you.

My girl knows she gets more attention from me by pleasing me.

Her rewards (and mine) include spankings and floggings, hogties and spread eagles, getting to sleep in a karada, anal, throat fucking, pain, and lots and lots of orgasms.

[Arria]

BelovedPet and Ozme had excellent advice.
Ozme is right about enforcing desirable behaviour. This might work a lot better than punishment.

I am not fond of punishment myself. I strongly oppose being treated like a kid, and getting "punished" just feels way too much like a parenting action to me. I don´t like it, and all you will get for something like it will be resentment and an even stronger fight.

For the same reason, I don´t want to be made feel I am "obeying" or "fulfilling tasks". I find I am a lot more eager and comfortable if I am given the choice - if I do something or not is with me.
If I don´t do it, nothing bad happens.
However, if I am allowed to do it of my own free will, his pleasure means worlds to me, and this is likely to motivate me to do it again and again, even if - or especially when? - the action in question I would NEVER want to perform of my own free will if it wasn´t asked.
The more I have to overcome myself in this, the more happy and proud do I feel afterwards.

Regarding "punishments": For the above-stated reasons we don´t do these (giving me pain would not be a punishment as I like it), but feeling his disappointment in me is about the worst punishment I can imagine. It just feels outright horrible, and I do whatever I can to avoid it.

However, this is - at least to me - an extreme way of putting me in my place, and I would caution you not to overdo it.
If your sub is at all like me, the feeling of "I won´t be able to do it right anyway, ever, no matter how hard I try, he´s always disappointed" will kill all motivation in her, over time...

[BdamGuy]

wow WHAT GOOD STUFF HERE

[Misschief]

I try to use some form of punishment that, once the sub relinquishes control (or the attempt), will begin to feel good.. Like a finger or random (sanitary/non-abrasive) item in the bum.. Fuck gently, or rough.. Especially fun on female subs.. When they begin to drip and moan I tease them about how horribly slutty they are to enjoy such a humiliation at My hands..

Anything that you know they can enjoy once they give up their 'tough-guy' act.. Like rhythmic flogging, caning, etc. will usually get females all drippy and wet.. ;)

[SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN]

Sit your sub down and ask her what's going on. Find out. Then you may have to restablish some ground rule, or develope some new ones. Is she acting out to get your attension? Are you providing what she needs in this relationship? Does she really know what you need out of this relationship. As others have said your sub should be rewarded how ever that works for you and her. A pat on the back goes along way. If your sub needs a whip on the back, then know about it; suck it up and give it to her. Don't we all want to give a sub what they want while getting what we want? Well I'd like to.

[devilishsub]

Ask her!! Have her make you a list of things she would consider rewards and things she would consider punishments, have her rank them in terms of severity for her. Personally I hate housework, so if I've been snippy with Master, He lets me know I've displeased him and how he expects me to behave and in order to get back in his good graces I have to do something for Him He knows I find unpleasant.
Making a list of punishments wasn't the easiest thing for me and was used as a punishment in its self.