To be a Feminist and a Sub

[Tleanne5664]

Since this is new to me I am having a little bit of a hard time meeting in the middle of these two. Or is it all in my head? I realize that the community has changed with the advent of Women/queer/gender rights-roles. But as a woman who has fought for certain rights in the womens movement, am I traitor to want to submit wholly to the man/Dom in my life?

[James2024]

I don't think so not at all. The choice to submit is just that a choice. The feminist movement is about gaining choices. In fact i would suggest that you would be doing yourself a major disservice if you where to run form who you are and what makes you happy.

[DowntownAmber]

As a new user, I'm sure you haven't found these threads yet, but there are a number of them on the forums that deal with your same question.

I don't want to dicourage anyone from posting here or adding a new point of view, but I do want to recommend searching for some of these similar past threads.

[leah06]

Have fun, Tleanne. Submit away.

[voxelectronica]

Well to start my response to this I first have to admit that I support men's movements in this country and am against a great deal of feminist ideology and have been a sometimes outspoken voice against NOW. I'm also a huge fan of Christina Hoff. And no none of it is because I think women are inferior to men in anyway.

I have been having trouble finding the article i read in print years ago about NOW's views on bdsm however they were completely against it (only if the woman was submissive). There was an outcry from the lesbian community and NOW changed their view to that it was wrong for women to submit to men. They could however submit to women and men could of course submit to women.

I'm outlining this because of the ridiculous nature of this organization. (Though it is the most outspoken feminist group probably in the world. I also completely understand it's not the only and that a lot of people are jumping ship). The movement was about choices and still should be. It was about the choice to go to work OR stay home. That has been taken out of it a lot.

Specifically to Tleanne5664, the movement doesn't dictate what you do in your own bedroom or your own life. There are those who would want you to feel bad about *your choice* but always remember it's yours to make. There are also those who would believe that the movement does dictate what goes on in your relationships, as if you aren't strong enough to make those choices yourself. You are obviously very strong to want to live in both worlds and I admire that. As someone who often does the same thing I can only say that sometimes you have to be the middle ground yourself. You can only find it in you.

[Tleanne5664]

There are many facets of the movement that I don't support. Specifically, I think that if feminism is going to move forward it is time to bring men into the conversation. Funny thing is in my relationship we are both feminists. He referred to himself as one, before I was ever comfortable calling my self a feminist. Hmm..interesting thought. I was very comfortable with the term submissive whereas it took me a long time to be cool with feminist, perhaps one lead to the other.

*Don't worrry about this division stopping me, I am very much submitting. I am interested in others thoughts or their own journeys! Enlighten me! I wait breathlessly!

[Euryleia]

I am very strongly feminist and I am also a member of the BDSM community. Do I think there is a contradiction? The answer is a resounding "No!"

The way that I see it, as long as the activity is consensual - as long as the parties are adults and mature enough to decide for themselves what makes them orgasm and what makes them feel whole, that the choices a woman makes in pursuit of her sexual satisfaction is her right as a human. Whether a particular woman is Dominant, submissive or switches between the roles, she is simply acting upon what makes her feel like a complete woman and is, therefore, exercising her feminism in the highest regard.