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yama
12-19-2008, 07:16 AM
My Dears,

I am new and very young and unexperienced. I may be conceited to start a new thread, but I can't fit it in any other one. My BDSM life with my friend and lover Lila is peculiar and doesn't remind those that I am reading about here. We are rather friends than anything else, even if I am her submissive, without doubt. Any doubt is dispelled when she takes the whip. :-) But she always uses a tender tone, not calling me "slut" or anything. I would accept it, but I like it more this way. I enjoy our relationship very much.

However, I can do with some online humiliation, too. I met a gentleman in Yahoo! Messenger who was in seek for an online sub. I humiliated myself before him, and he took the Dom role. It was exciting. I was called "unworthy slut" (I enjoyed it), I was stripped and punished. He wanted clamps, at least clothespins. Well, clothespins is hardly painful at all, but Lila uses curtain clamps on my nipples. I applied them as my punisher wanted, tight on my nipples and then flipping them. I enjoyed being in pain. It didn't occur him to use the clamps in the most painful way, taking them off and putting them back repeatedly, continually renewing and even increasing the sharp pain. Lila can lead me to orgasm with this method.

So far, so good. But when I had to go and thanked him, his farewell words were: "Next time the clamps will be on your clit."

I am frightened. Not of the gentleman, I am not obliged to obey him. It was my choose to go into the role of the sub, and I didn't promise to continue. But "clamps on the clit" sounds sinister for me. Lila never uses my genitals for punishment, just for pleasure. So I am very uncertain. Clitoris is hypersensitive, I can't imagine myself putting a clamp on it. Even the thought of doing it fills me with sheer horror. I am afraid of being inadequate for the role of a sub.

Am I just peculiar? Is my clit extraordinarily sensitive? Or am I simply a coward?

Lila whips me regularly and rather painfully and I am never afraid of it. This is the first time I have fear in BDSM.

Please teach me. I am a kid after all.

The more I want to say is that English is not my native language and I am not sure in the expression of "curtain clamps". They are metal things which hold the rings that are sewn in the curtain. They have strong springs and dentition and can bite the flesh very sharply. I endure them on my nipples without any difficulty.

But on my clit? :confused:

Thank you if you take the time to read this, I will be grateful for any answer.

Humbly

Yama

orchidsoul
12-19-2008, 08:15 AM
I know I can take pegs and clips on my breasts pretty well... but not anywhere near my clit or general pussy area.

Perhaps, if you're willing to attempt it, you should try with something like a clothespin. The skin is faaaaaaar more sensitive down there than that of a breast (at least for me) i also wouldn't want metal biting through and risking cutting my poor little nub.

And in the end, some people can take clamps on their breasts, but not on their pussy and vice versa. It surely doesn't make you inadequate as a sub.

shayna{L_D}
12-19-2008, 08:28 AM
you dont seem like a coward from what you said about the curtain clamps and whippings. My clit is very sensitive (id think that anyone's would be) and i do not think i could take a clothespin. It even hurts when it is pinched, or bite on. Yikes! But to me clothespins hurt, anywhere they are placed, and i may be a coward but from what you said you dont seem to be.

I dont think you are peculiar, and or a coward, and i dont kow if your clit is extraordinarily sensitive. I am a firm believer in trying anything once (well..almost anything) if it hurts to much just take it off, at least you can say you tried. If you fail then thats just it, you failed. Not everyone is going to be able to take any pain dished out to them.

I dont know if i helped but good luck :)

also i can take clothespins on my pussy any day of the week and not feel a damn thing, no pain just pressure. So like orchidsoul said, some people can take clamps on there pussy and some cant. Does it mean they are a coward bc they cant take the pain on there pussy? No, different strokes from different folks. ;)

yama
12-19-2008, 09:34 AM
Thank you very much for the replies, dear Orchidsoul and Sayna. I appreciate how quick you both were. I feel consoled and reassured. I will read your posts over and over.

Please allow me to ask a more question. When I described what I had named "curtain clamps", was my poor English understandable? Do you know what we use? Perhaps the word "clips" would be better?

I thank again for your helpfulness. I am very happy with your answers. I certainly got more tranquil. A very hearty and very humble thank to you.

angelic.zest
12-19-2008, 10:21 AM
my whole body is extremely sensitive, i believe abit more sensitive then most, i can take clamps/pegs on my breasts easier and it feels more enjoyable then on my pussy lips or clit. I dont think you are a coward either, it takes alittle prep work in order to get you or anyone for that matter ready to take clamps/pegs.

sadiej
12-19-2008, 11:09 AM
i LOVE clothespins!! my first Master had a love affair with them and i have about a hundered of them as a result. and it is an acquired taste too. like nipple clamping you can work up to various locations and time endurance as well if it feels right for you.

i don't think you are cowardly at all. in BDSM i have found that "one man's fear is another man's fetish." so what might terrify you and i is a complete turn on for another.

when it comes to clit clamping you don't want to use something that has too strong of a bite to it as the area is hightly sensitive. use cloethespins that are smooth, wood and don't have too strong of a spring to them.

i think the best thing to do is experiment a little on your own. take a clothespin and gently squeeze your clit between it and slowly let the pressure build. see how it feels. don't release full pressure all at once. take it slow and see how your body responds. if you arouse to pain you might be surprised at how quickly that stimulation gets you to the edge.

and if it becomes unbearable.. take it off. then you know for sure if you are asked by a Dom to play this way that it is a hard limit for you. but at least you know for yourself and it's not just out of fear, but the fact that it's truly not enjoyable for you.

Arria
12-19-2008, 11:59 AM
yama - donīt ever let anyone make you think of yourself as a "bad sub" just because you cannot/will not participate in any particular action.

It takes all sorts. All subs I met in real life are into different things. Some of them are not even masochists at all. There is no such thing as a "real sub", and please steer clear of anyone who tries to make you believe that.
Such statements are usually made by wannabe doms who donīt care about your well-being, and they use those statements to force you into an action they like, while you donīt like it. No one has a right to do that. (I am talking about hard limits here. Soft limits should be tested. If it is something you have never done, but are curious about, go ahead and try it. I donīt remember how many things I thought I would not like/could not bear, and hubby proved the opposite. *g*)

As for the clamp/clip thing: I can bear clamps (alligator clamps) on my nipples, and on my clit, but not on the pussy lips. It just feels wrong there.

The only persons who have the right to decide what is right/important in your relationship is you and your partner. Not anyone else. There is no such thing as a BDSM relationship rule valid for all. Except, maybe, that both/all partners in a relationship should be comfortable with whatīs going on.

But that should be understood by common sense, and be made sure in any relationship - BDSM or vanilla.

yama
12-19-2008, 12:43 PM
it takes alittle prep work in order to get you or anyone for that matter ready to take clamps/pegs.

I start seeing that I must exercise. Thank you very much for you valuable post. :wave:

yama
12-19-2008, 12:47 PM
i think the best thing to do is experiment a little on your own. take a clothespin and gently squeeze your clit between it and slowly let the pressure build. see how it feels. don't release full pressure all at once. take it slow and see how your body responds. if you arouse to pain you might be surprised at how quickly that stimulation gets you to the edge.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I am very happy with your post. My horror starts easing down. I see it can be done. Thank you.

yama
12-19-2008, 01:32 PM
Soft limits should be tested. If it is something you have never done, but are curious about, go ahead and try it.

Thank you very much, Arria. Now I can see that I must try it. If only to prove to myself that I am not a coward. Your whole post is very clever and educative, but the quoted sentence is decisive. :smilie_orange1:

I hope I will be able to show Lila new things she can do with me. :ty:

It is very interesting that there are subs who aren't masochists. Do they enjoy being controlled?

Thanks again.

yama
12-19-2008, 01:50 PM
I have found the exact image of the curtain clamp we use. Only I can't post URLs yet.

Ozme52
12-19-2008, 02:06 PM
It is very interesting that there are subs who aren't masochists. Do they enjoy being controlled?


Some do. Some revel in giving something to their dominant that is difficult for them.

They match up well with doms who aren't necessarily full blown sadists, who need to see that unconditional submission.

There is no limit to the variety of tops and bottoms and dominants and subs and masters and slaves nor the various combinations thereof.

Ozme52
12-19-2008, 02:09 PM
I have found the exact image of the curtain clamp we use. Only I can't post URLs yet.

You could download the image to your computer and then upload it here as an attachment.

yama
12-19-2008, 02:17 PM
Thank you very much, Sir, for your enlightening replies. Indeed, I didn't know that I can upload attachments. :ty:

Here is the picture.

We use them without the ring. How it will feel on my clit...

Arria
12-19-2008, 02:21 PM
Ozme answered the question about non-masochistic subs perfectly well, so I have nothing to add :-)

judori
12-19-2008, 08:55 PM
i personally can do clamps and pins on my nipples no problem; pussy lips are ok but hurt more. Yet even start to put a clamp on my clit and it hurts so much that i've been sick to my stomach.

So no clamps on the clit for this little one.

Everyone is a bit different to what their body can take; just be patient with yours. :)

angelic.zest
12-19-2008, 09:24 PM
:icon176: that clamps looks ouchies...

personally i am not that much of a "bad ass" when it comes to pain, i'll take a certain amount of pain and look forward to it but thats not the whole me. it just makes up a sweet part, so yeah i totally agree with with Oz said!

Ozme52
12-19-2008, 09:34 PM
Like a mini alligator clip.

I like using clover clamps on my girl.

yama
12-20-2008, 02:59 AM
I like using clover clamps on my girl.

Oh, Sir, I wish you had me tied ang gagged and told your girl to put all these clamps on me, on my nipples and pussy, without asking me if I would like it... :)

yama
12-20-2008, 03:56 AM
My Dears,

It was my intention to try clothespins on myself as ahava had told me, but I have no clothespins and before I could get some, my friend Lila visited me. She kissed my lips and I kissed her feet and I started immediately talking about putting clamps on my pussy. She never punished me on my pussy before, and was reluctant to do so now, but I begged her and she yielded at last. She tied me to my armchair sitting low, so that my lower body was partly in the air, and after tying my wrists behind and my ankles to the legs of the chair, she tied my thights so that my legs were spread. I asked her to gag me, but she said that she wanted to hear me scream. I was sure she would stop immediately if I scream, so I bit my teeth tightly together an later I bit my tongue strong.

She used the same clamps which she uses on my breasts. We selected them as having the strongest springs. There was no preparatory play. She put a clamp on my clit. It was a maddening pain, abating a bit later, but I bit my tongue and didn't scream. So she continued on my pussy lips. It is a strong pain indeed, much stronger than on the nipples, but weaker than on the clit. To do a perfect job, she placed clamps on my nipples, too, and asked me mockingly how I enjoyed myself. "Very much", I moaned, with tears on my face. She kissed my lips and removed all the clamps, which was a sharp pain again.

When she released my hands I asked her for letting me try whether I was able to put on the clamps myself. And I could. I don't say it was easy, but I could. My pussy is very sore, but I am happy. My fear has evaporated completely. I can put clamps on my clit.

I know I didn't follow every counsel you gave me, but I love Lila very much and it was easier for me to suffer at her hands than experimenting on myself. Things has shaped so. But I never would get here without your posts. They was very encouraging and I could feel my horror diminishing gradually. Thank you for your kind assistance. How nicely you taught and encouraged me. My heart is full of gratitude. :ty

And I kept kissing Lila's hands last night for a long while. She understood that the thing was important for me and promised to torture my pussy again when it is less sore. :)

Humbly

Yama

yama
12-20-2008, 04:20 AM
i'll take a certain amount of pain and look forward to it but thats not the whole me. it just makes up a sweet part, so yeah i totally agree with with Oz said!

I understand you perfectly. I think I am different, but I can say that I am not happy with the pain itself but with the humiliation. The feeling that I am at the other's mercy, that she can do with me what she wants.

It never occurred to me or to Lila that we might use a safeword or signal. I only read about it later. Last night I had no worry at all that it might hurt too much. My concern was that I might scream with pain, making her stop the torture. :) Apart from this, I felt perfectly safe in her hands.

You will understand how important was for me eliminating that fear, my first fear in BDSM, about having clamps on my clit. It ceased completely.

Thank you and thank everybody. A very humble and very happy thank.

:ty

Yama

yama
12-20-2008, 04:52 AM
Yet even start to put a clamp on my clit and it hurts so much that i've been sick to my stomach.

I remembered your post last night when the first clamp was on. The pain was on top and something seized my stomach. Only I was fortunate because it diminished soon.

Thank you for the counseling and encouraging. :wave:

Yama

Bobbitsj
12-20-2008, 10:22 AM
yama, There is nothing wrong with having limits. Clamping your clit might be something you fear and want nothing to do with. You could make it a hard limit and the subject would never come up again. On the other hand you might fear it and think maybe in time you might want to try just to please your Dom so you could call it a soft limit meaning maybe in time you'd try.

I am a male sub who has both hard and soft limits. My Mistress enjoys pushing my soft limits and always respects my hard limits. I think and Dominant would do the same.

yama
12-20-2008, 11:57 AM
Thank you really, the clear distinction between hard and soft limits seems very important. The post of Arria (post #7) emphasized the same.

Please, my dear friend, if you have time, read my post which is #20. It says that, in my case, putting clamps on my clit proved to be a soft limit. It is extremely painful, but I am not afraid of it any more. Perhaps the reason of my fear was that is was an undiscovered area. My pussy was the place of intimate tenderness and pleasure, but not the area of pain. Now I am over this period. If I am told to put clamps on my clit, I will do so, and love it. :exellent1

And, dear friend, I haven't a Dom only a female friend who is stumbling in the world of BDSM like myself. But she is a dear, and she wields the whip effectively. :) My back is still sore from her last activity. I love her very much indeed, and being punished by her is a treat.

Thank you again for your helpfulness. Your post increased the inner security that I gained by the posts of others. You are a splendid guy, I am grateful.

Yama





yama, There is nothing wrong with having limits. Clamping your clit might be something you fear and want nothing to do with. You could make it a hard limit and the subject would never come up again. On the other hand you might fear it and think maybe in time you might want to try just to please your Dom so you could call it a soft limit meaning maybe in time you'd try.

I am a male sub who has both hard and soft limits. My Mistress enjoys pushing my soft limits and always respects my hard limits. I think and Dominant would do the same.

Ozme52
12-20-2008, 10:55 PM
Oh, Sir, I wish you had me tied ang gagged and told your girl to put all these clamps on me, on my nipples and pussy, without asking me if I would like it... :)

You never know what the future holds yama. :cool:

yama
12-21-2008, 03:50 AM
You never know what the future holds yama. :cool:


:elvis_nbs:

lucky#13
12-30-2008, 03:59 PM
When i had my previous online Master he introduced me to clothespins. At first even on my breasts they killed but soon it was a reward to be able to place them on my nipples and around the rest of my tits. They seemed to have the perfect amount of pain sensation within them. I even enjoyed them on my pussy lips. However as for my clit, i can only take a few seconds directly on my clit but just below that i can withstand it much longer. But my actual clit seems much to sensitive to hold it long at all.

graceadieu
03-01-2009, 09:02 PM
I'm going to be a freak and say that I actually find clamps on my labia/clit easier to take and more enjoyable than on my nipples! I need to be pretty turned on, though.

SubmissiveDoll
03-02-2009, 07:15 AM
I'm going to be a freak and say that I actually find clamps on my labia/clit easier to take and more enjoyable than on my nipples! I need to be pretty turned on, though.


If you're a freak, I'm joining your club. Cause that is what I was thinking through this whole thread. I was honestly a tad surprised that everyone felt opposite of me.

I actually enjoy clamps on my clit, especially when Master puts them there when I'm not exactly excited, in no time at all I will be.

Zarine13
03-02-2009, 02:22 PM
I have to say the very idea of a clamp on my clit is yummy. I have yet to try it though.

Ozme52
03-02-2009, 03:07 PM
i have to say the very idea of a clamp on my clit is yummy. I have yet to try it though.

:d

sinfulsex
03-04-2009, 01:48 PM
o gosh a clothespin on my clit hurts so so so much. i have a love hate relationship with it. yes it gives me a stronger orgasm but i dont like the pain, i really dont. i guess i have a sensitive clit. its weird somedays i can take it, i have found before that i just couldnt though

very bizarre - anyone else found this?

sinful x

yama
03-05-2009, 04:28 AM
its weird somedays i can take it, i have found before that i just couldnt though

very bizarre - anyone else found this?

Your post is of high value, dear. i have similar experience when kneeling on rice. Sometimes it seems unbearable. Sometimes it goes rather smoothly. The difference must be in my knees, because the rice is the same. The nerves work with different intensity, i suppose.

On erogenous zones, of course, your erotic tension can be a decisive factor.

suchaminx
03-05-2009, 05:39 AM
o gosh a clothespin on my clit hurts so so so much. i have a love hate relationship with it. yes it gives me a stronger orgasm but i dont like the pain, i really dont. i guess i have a sensitive clit. its weird somedays i can take it, i have found before that i just couldnt though

very bizarre - anyone else found this?

sinful x

Cerainly have and for me it depends whereabouts I am on my menstural cycle.... a few days before it starts - nooooooooo wayyyyyyyy - a few days after... more please :)

minxy