The Realities Of Finding a Dominant Man

[Jill Bird]

All men want to dominate and discipline a woman, yes? Of course they do, but only in the privacy of their bedroom or computer den.
Most men are shy cowards when it comes to being the boss.
Of course there are the wife-beater types, but who can respect or trust them?
It's very, very difficult to find a man who you can rely on to indulge your fetishes without injuring or betraying you. And I need to genuinely respect a man before giving myself in bondage to him.
It's not easy being a woman who wants to be bossed.

[TheseDays]

Keep your head up. There are men out there like this!

*places his finger on your chin and lifts up your head and smiles* don't lose faith.

[wind_dancer{W_W}]

i know for certain that there are men out there that are highly respectable Doms... my Lord for instance.. or the r/l doms of many of my chat friends..... you just gotta be patient.. i know i know no one EVER wants to be patient i wasnt for a very long time but when i started to just be myself and not worry about the Doms around me i found the Dom that has changed my life... just relax and once you stop looking it will happen i PROMISE

[angelic.zest]

It depends on where your looking for these dominant men. If your looking for a Dominant man online in the hopes of it becoming something more. You may get your heart broken a few times before lucking up and finding that "One". Now if you just want online and can't step out into "flesh" of bdsm, nothing wrong with that. In an online committement, theres trust and loyality thats just as good for some.

I know i may sound like a broken record, when i say this!

Try finding local bdsm groups, that way you can start with munches(vanilla meetings) or maybe attend a small party of some sort. I know in small rural areas the pickings for bdsm groups are slim, but try looking and market yourself (in a respectful manner). There are Dominant men out there, but in my opinion...it seem the ones we really want...aren't online :( (for some of us)

good luck.... I know what i said is easier said then done, but once you get out there....you'll wonder why you havent done it sooner!

[Jill Bird]

Thanks for all your kind replies. The fact of the matter is that I am an experienced sub, and have had a number of "master", or "owners" or whichever name you prefer.
The problems arise when the relationship ends, it is not like finding a new regular partner or boyfriend. It takes so long to "sound out" a new persons tastes and limits.
Each of my arrangements with a dominant male have eventually broken down, usually because, (a) he boringly keeps to the same scenario, never moving it on so it becomes a predictable role-play.
Or (b), he moves on without my agreement and tries to involve me in too bizarre scenes, often with outsiders or not protecting my privacy.

[TheseDays]

All I can say is be upfront with people with what you want out of the relationships. Communicate communicate . *shrugs*

[thewhiterabbit]

All men want to dom in the bedroom? I only wish.

[Ozme52]

Gotta be looking in the right places.

[sirbootnocka]

As a Dom, I find that what you said about most of us being cowards in public is interesting, and somewhat true. However, most guys just want to avoid going to jail, or even getting hassled by the man. ( my age is showing. )

As far as being dominant only in the bedroom, anywhere else that it is appropriate is all a matter of taste and limits. Some people's limits are far outside of the range of other's.

I know and understand that it is fun and exhilirating to be pushed, but there still have to be limits and boundaries. That is what SSC is all about.

It's going to take some time and alot of searching to finally find that one that makes the sun rise and set in their eyes for you, but you have to ask yourself " is it worth it?" and act accordingly.

[Jill Bird]

Thanks to all who replied to my little rant.
It's nice to hear from people who like to dom, yet don't resort to abuse when responding to a womans question.
I think it shows just how intelligent and basically kind many with our interest can be, sort of different to public perceptions.

[numenor]

Don't give up!

Your relationships should be consentual and trusting.

If you can't communicate with someone i would not advise doing anything with them. If you acn communicate and the dom is receptive and responsive to your desires then you can explore things. But also be careful, there is NO excuse for a Dom who hurts a sub without thier consent and desire. or for one who does not know what the sub wants from conversations and paying attention to the sub's response.

[meliand3]

I have been trying to find a dom for years and I can't find one good or bad. I can't find anyone who is comfortable with bdsm, I am actually at the point that I am considering moving to a different city/state to a more accepting atmosphere

[Jim]

All men want to dominate and discipline a woman, yes? Of course they do, but only in the privacy of their bedroom or computer den.
Most men are shy cowards when it comes to being the boss.
Of course there are the wife-beater types, but who can respect or trust them?
It's very, very difficult to find a man who you can rely on to indulge your fetishes without injuring or betraying you. And I need to genuinely respect a man before giving myself in bondage to him.
It's not easy being a woman who wants to be bossed.
-----------------------------------

just look in the right places and
make sure you give off the right signals ..

Jim

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

All men want...

Any sentence that starts out defining "all men" as a single subset is doomed. There's no such thing.