Complete beginner - advice?

[cadela]

Hi all.

I'm writing a BDSM novel - my first effort; it's partially based on my own story as a lifestyle subbie for the last eight years. I'm up to about 42,000 words and the natural story will probably get to about 60/65,000 without padding. I think it's good (naturally!) and a couple of unshockable vanilla friends are enjoying the tale (although they've skipped the heavier pain scenes!).

Question is where do I go from here? Should I put it up in the library in chapters for feedback? Which are the most receptive publishers for a first novel? Should I approach an agent, if so which one? (I live in Portugal). I know I need to write a synopsis but how long/how much detail should it contain?

Apologies for all the questions and if this post is in the wrong place. Many thanks in advance for any advice.

cadela.

[Aussiegirl1]

Hi Cadela,

Sounds like you are doing a great job! I am not so sure about publishers myself, but there is a member called Clevernick who has some experience with publishing and it might helpful to talk to him. You could either PM him or you might find him in the Writer's society section.

Good luck and hope this has been of some assistance.

[efwb2]

Hi

if you put up a chapter for feed back and see how the cummunity that will buy the book think

El x

[cadela]

OK - here's an excerpt. kitty was supposed to meet her first Master but instead was kidnapped.....

She felt the warmth as they went into a building which smelt of woodsmoke and feminine perfume. A few steps and she was then lowered onto her back onto a smooth, hard, surface. kitty’s hands were trapped uncomfortably underneath her and the rope pulling her ankles up towards her body so that her knees were in the air; effectively she was in a kneeling position but on her back. Hands pulled her body forward until her heels slipped off the end of whatever it was supporting her and rested on a round, narrow, cold bar and her bottom teetered on the edge of the surface. She could feel the edge at each side of her with her elbows and realised that if she lifted her heels from the bar she would slide forward. The man’s voice confirmed her precarious position. “Listen carefully kitty. you are on a high, narrow counter so if you try to move you will fall onto a very hard floor and whichever bone - your skull, hip, knees or shoulder - hits the floor first will break. And I WILL let you fall. Do you believe me kitty? Nod for yes”. kitty faintly nodded, fearful of moving an inch. “Good girl”. An image flashed into kitty’s mind - her cottage had a tall narrow wooden breakfast bar which separated the open plan kitchen and the living room. It had a brass towel rail at one end and the floor was tiled with hard slate. She moved her fingers as best she could on the surface beneath them. Wood. kitty’s attention was snapped back as the man placed a hand on each of her knee and said “open your legs kitty”. She instinctively clenched her buttocks together and pressed her legs tightly together. “kitty, that was an order, not a question. Now open!” His hands left her knees and she felt him grasp the tender flesh at the back of her thighs with his fingers. He pinched and twisted the skin and muscle so hard she gasped in pain and opened her legs immediately. Anything to stop the agony. But he didn’t stop. “Wider, slut”. kitty forced her legs as far as they would go. The pinching stop but the tortured flesh burned and throbbed. “Over here for a second, Maisie” he said calmly. kitty cringed, suddenly realising that the woman was still there and that she was about to look at kitty’s shaved and gaping pussy. “Nice bruises, Boss” said the woman in admiration “perfectly symmetrical.” “The first of many Maisie” replied the man “I’m hungry; could you fix us some food and get me a beer please?”. “Sure thing Boss. Am I cooking for two or three?” “Oh, just you and me, thanks. I think kitty’s diet should start right now”. “OK, Boss”. kitty sensed rather than heard the woman retreat but then came the familiar noises of cupboards being opened and pans rattled. It added to her feeling of unreality that a meal was being prepared whilst she was naked and helpless only feet away.

The man spoke again “I have a few things I wish to discuss with you kitty but I want you to inspect you first. Don’t move”. With that he worked his way around her body; pulling her lips back to look carefully at her teeth, running his hands over her face and throat and then down to her breasts, rolling them slowly in his hands, holding them as if trying to assess the weight, brushing his thumbs gently over her nipples. His hands were warm, dry and, whilst not as soft as kitty’s, they were not calloused or rough. Despite herself kitty felt her nipples grow hard and a tingle of excitement ran down her spine into her groin. He carried on, tracing a fingernail across her belly, placing his hands on each side of her hips and pressing in to find the hipbones just under the flesh. kitty felt the goosebumps break out on her skin and her breath quickened. “good girl” he said softly. He moved between her outstretched legs and ran his hands firmly down each thigh until he got to her groin. With his fingers splayed out his thumbs peeled her labia apart and uncovered her clitoris which by now was as hard and erect as a miniature penis. kitty could feel his warm breath on her open sex and wished he would do something - lick her, fuck her, play with her - anything to bring her to the climax she needed. Holding her open with one hand, he dipped one finger inside her, very gently. kitty groaned and had to stop herself from thrusting her hips forward - she had no doubt that he would go through with his threat to allow her to fall if she did. Two fingers now, agonisingly slowly whilst the thumb continued to tease her clitoris, not hard enough to tip her over the edge but with enough pressure to make her whole body tremble with tension. Suddenly he covered her pubic area with the heel of his hand with the two fingers still inside her, pressed down and rubbed hard. “Cum now, kitty” he said and her orgasm hit - the feeling started in the peak of her clit and bursting through her body, overwhelming her senses and making her entire body spasm in pleasure. It was so powerful she didn’t registered that his hands had withdrawn from her body and had once again grasped and twisted the same flesh he had hurt so badly a few minutes earlier. The pain was there but it was no match for the wonderful throbbing sensation from her pussy. As the pleasure subsided and the pain asserted itself kitty gasped and choked back a sob. “well done kitty” said the man as he patted her leg “your first orgasm as a slave. You can thank me later”. Bending down between her legs again he sniffed and said “Fe, fi, fo, fum, I can smell a slavegirl’s cum!”. A burst of laughter came from the kitchen and the man joined in. kitty felt sick with humiliation. She had been made to climax just to amuse this sick psychopath and his hateful bitch of a sidekick.

[Aussiegirl1]

This is a good read, though there are a few simple things that would make it even better.

First off, I know why you are writting kitty with a small k but in a story, I feel it needs a capital K.

Each time a different person speaks, it needs to be in a new paragraph. This may mean that all that is in the paragraph is one line of speech but it makes the dialogue easier to read.

Finally, break up the story into smaller paragraphs. I like to use between 3 and 5 sentences per paragraph, depending of the length of the sentences.

Hope this has been of some help.

[cadela]

Thank you, that's very helpful. I need to go back and reformat it to make it easier to read. At the moment I'm tearing through the story just to get it down (before my head explodes! :D )

kitty starts off as Katherine but is re-named by her Master.

Thanks again. x

P.S. Up to 56,000 word now!

[Aussiegirl1]

Glad to be of help! I too know what it is like to just need to get the words down!

Good luck and keep having fun with the writing.

[Mad Lews]

Cadelia,
This would compete well with a lot of e-books out there for sale. BDSMbooks or A1Adult books come to mind. Just a couple of thoughts if you decide to go the published sales route.
Having friends read it over is a good step, but 60-100,000 words stories are a task to read even if they are exciting. You need a friendly grammar Nazi to check it over, or try reading it aloud, just a bit at a time to pick up those little nits and mistakes that we all make like...
“I have a few things I wish to discuss with you kitty but I want you to inspect you first. Don’t move”.
You could read through it without catching the unnecessary third you, because you know what its suppose to say, but reading it aloud it stands out.
The other thing is length. Yeah I know size matters,but...
By all means write it all down and get it up on the screen, but then you need to edit the story. In most cases this means a reduction in what you tell. The art is really story telling not writing and you need to figure out what bits are important to the tale and what is a distraction. Once you have that kind of clarity in your mind the story you tell moves at a compelling pace. It becomes a page turner.
Last point, Every story ever told could always be told a little better. Don't get caught in an endless cycle of tweaking it just a little bit more. At some point you need to release your poor baby into the world and let it fend for itself. Show it to a publisher and brace yourself for rejection. It builds character they say.
Writing to get published is a process, and if you stick with it it will happen. You have a good concept so go for it.

[cadela]

Thanks a million Lews, your comments are much appreciated. The first 12,000 words (including that extra 'you'!) plus a synopsis are winging their merry way to Black Lace as of today! Is it correct etiquette to wait for a response before approaching other publishers?

[Mad Lews]

Thanks a million Lews, your comments are much appreciated. The first 12,000 words (including that extra 'you'!) plus a synopsis are winging their merry way to Black Lace as of today! Is it correct etiquette to wait for a response before approaching other publishers?

Cadel,

That depends on the publisher. Black Lace has extensive submissions guidelines with lots of tips and suggestions http://nt6744.vs.netbenefit.co.uk/guidelines.html ( Check out their comments on the SM theme) but my quick read through didn't catch any prohibition against duplicate submissions. God, does that sound sexy or what? Submit girl, again submit....

Anyway did I mention the role of patience; publishers take a long time to read, judge, edit, and publish a book. This is doubly true for print media. When they make the commitment to publish your work they almost always will require exclusive publishing rights for some extended time period, some may even want permanent publishing rights of the copyrighted material you have submitted. Trying to play one publisher off against another just doesn't work unless you are really well known, someone like a Clancy, King , or maybe Wally Lamb.

So my suggestion is, unless they specifically say multiple submissions are OK just pick one. Send it out, keep polishing your work as you wait for the rejection slip, then send out a new proposal letter to the next publisher on your list. Steven King collected a lot of rejection slips before he found someone to publish "Salem's Lot" and he had an agent. Don't give up, the publishers need writers just as desperately as writers need publishers, maybe more so.

Best of luck
Mad

[cadela]

Thanks again for your time and advice Mad. Would love to submit (and submit again and agani!) but very unlikely stuck in the wilds of central Portugal. kitty's having all my fun!! :(

ETA - yes, I saw and hopefully correctly followed the BL guidelines.

[Clevernick]

Hi Cadela --

I own a bdsm publishing house (e-books only), and it's pretty likely that once you've taken and implemented the great advice you got from Aussiegirl and Mad Lews, your story would be fit to publish on my site.

I actually was about to give you all the same advice, point for point, so consider it doubled, and I hope to see a sample from you in my email someday! Try webmaster at bdsmbooks.com to reach me.