D/s contracts

[BelovedPet]

Sir and I are looking to write a contract. I've seen some samples and have a pretty good idea of what it's going to consist of but I got to wondering how many of you out there have signed contracts. I'd be interested in hearing as little or as much detail as you'd care to share about your experiences with contracts.

Thanks!
b

[denuseri]

I have never signed one and the only time I saw one I took a pass (not becuse of the contract so much as the way it was presented and what it entailed).

Good Luck!

[Willsubmit2]

my Shifu and i have a contract we signed last March. it's working out for us as we got married last December....good luck to you.:wave:

[Twisted32]

me and my Master have one and we're getting married next month...:)

[Archeon]

me and atom have a contact we both compiled together, however does have a clause saying that either party can back out at either time for any reason, just incase.

Arch

[mzkkbprmt]

me and atom have a contact we both compiled together, however does have a clause saying that either party can back out at either time for any reason, just incase.

Arch

This sounds like a really good idea. If I ever have to write a contract I would like a line like this in it. I assume if someone pulls out it means the whole contract ends, not just for that one thing.

[cadence]

me and atom have a contact we both compiled together, however does have a clause saying that either party can back out at either time for any reason, just incase.

Arch

I'm very curious about this clause and how it's written.

Does the clause end after a period of time, or is it in effect for the duration of your relationship?

I ask only because you make it sound so simple; so cut and dry.
I know that it is a good idea to back out if things aren't working, in the beginning, but when does it end? Does it last for days, weeks, years?
Does this mean at anytime someone can back out when it is no longer interesting for them?

If I'm coming across as rude, sorry about that, I know that I have a verbal agreement with my b/f, (we are not a D/s couple) that if one of us wants to leave, the other should oblige.
Even if we are together for years, we still must honor that agreement. However it does get a bit messy considering the emotional issues that come up.

I'm curious to know how you interpret that clause, if it's there permanently or if it's there for a brief period of time.

[leah06]

I don't understand what it would mean NOT to have that clause, actual or implied. Can't anyone back out of any relationship at any time?

[cadence]

I don't understand what it would mean NOT to have that clause, actual or implied. Can't anyone back out of any relationship at any time?

Yes anyone can back out of a relationship at any time.

I think I confused the issue by using my relationship as an example. I shouldn't have, since I am implying that they are backing out of the relationship instead of backing out of the contract itself.
Regardless though, I'm still curious as to whether or not 10 years down the road if that clause will still be in place?

Backing out of a contract in the early stages is much different and has less complications than backing out much later on when rules and habits are in place.

[fetishdj]

I would have thought that any relationship you can back out of at any time, contract or not. What may be useful in such a contract may be an 'exit strategy'. i.e. rather than merely saying 'yes you can quit any time' but also adding how that works - what needs to be done to make the end of the relationship 'official', what grounds you can use for quitting (i.e. 'he broke my hard limit more than twice when I told him not to'), who gets to keep the precious collection of signed floggers and so on. Sort of like a pre-nup in some ways. I would also include things like:

- is the relationship polyamourous? Can the Dom or sub play around with others? Just 'BDSM play' or is there sex as well? Can the Dom 'give' the sub to another for a session and can the sub disagree?

- A list of punishments and what crimes they are for.
- What duties the sub has and also what responsibilities the Dom has.

There are many other things that could be added...

[Archeon]

Terminating contract: This contract may be terminated at any time by either partner for any reason but should not be done lightly.

It really is that cut and dry for us. And while it may seem obvious, its always nice to have a written escape plan. This will remain in our contract as far as im concerned. The thing to realise is that breaking contract isnt something you would expect to do, just because you didnt like something happening (thats what safe words are for), but really as a "this is seriously over" type of thing, rather than any kind of fake power struggle.

Arch

[cadence]

What may be useful in such a contract may be an 'exit strategy'. i.e. rather than merely saying 'yes you can quit any time' but also adding how that works - what needs to be done to make the end of the relationship 'official', what grounds you can use for quitting (i.e. 'he broke my hard limit more than twice when I told him not to'), who gets to keep the precious collection of signed floggers and so on. Sort of like a pre-nup in some ways. I would also include things like:


I think that you would probably write a clause that states that all parties would adhere to the contract or else it wouldn't be binding anymore. I think that's different than saying you will back out of it.
Saying that you can back out of a contract at anytime is a bit different. People have different reasons and they change as well.

But now we're making contracts sound so very impersonal.

[cadence]

It really is that cut and dry for us. And while it may seem obvious, its always nice to have a written escape plan. This will remain in our contract as far as im concerned. The thing to realise is that breaking contract isnt something you would expect to do, just because you didnt like something happening (thats what safe words are for), but really as a "this is seriously over" type of thing, rather than any kind of fake power struggle.

Arch


That is a very reasonable way to view things. I fully understand now where you are coming from with that.
But I'm still confused, are you breaking the contract, or ending the relationship?

[Archeon]

That is a very reasonable way to view things. I fully understand now where you are coming from with that.
But I'm still confused, are you breaking the contract, or ending the relationship?

Breaking of contract would result in either:

a) The end of the bdsm relationship
b) End of the relationship if the only aspect to said relationship was the BDSM aspect.