Devious70
02-15-2009, 11:33 AM
For those who know me, they know I am in Iraq. For those who don't, I am in Iraq and just over half way through my deployment. I am married to my pet peanut. We do a variety of things long distance to keep the old spark alive. We have been married for 12 (13 in April) years and in the life style to one extent or another for 10 of those years. By training I am a teacher and weather I am in a classroom or a war zone or a bondage forum, I can't separate that out of who I am. So, I thought I would share some of the things I and peanut do to keep it going, even if I am away for extended periods of time...and if I start sounding like a teacher??? Deal with it or I will spank your butt with my ruler.
Of course, the key to any relationship, regardless if it is some form of BDSM relationship or of the vanilla variety, is communication. And it is my belief that it has to be communication not only on a surface verbal level but on a subconscious level also. There must be what some call "Chemistry" as well as good verbal communication. "Chemistry" or subconscious communication is a very difficult thing to accomplish over long distance as it is based on every part of our senses to include verbal. It is the smells, the sights, the hormonal responses, the tastes, the sound modulations, and the touches all wrapped up in a neat little package. If you take away some of the parts of subconscious communication "chemistry" becomes harder to achieve. For example, if someone's body odor is offensive to you, it becomes more difficult to connect on every other level. The same if you find someone's voice grating to your ears, or their hands too soft or rough. Of course, these things can be over come, but it is more difficult than if they were not present to begin with. So the first thing my pet and I did to prepare for our being apart for over a year was to set up as many different types of communication as possible. The internet has been a huge help in this. We have video chat and can send pictures back and forth. As well as write our dreams and fantasies and worries to each other. We send clothing back and forth to each other to remember our smells. We have virtual sex as an aid to intimacy. And I have left a variety of tasks and chores peanut can perform in my absence so she can feel directed without me physically being there. All of this was done to enhance and facilitate the communication between the two of us during our separation. However, you can apply these things even if you aren't separated and have it benefit a relationship.
I will add more thoughts and describe some of the tasks and chores in later installments. Comments and discussion are very welcome.
Of course, the key to any relationship, regardless if it is some form of BDSM relationship or of the vanilla variety, is communication. And it is my belief that it has to be communication not only on a surface verbal level but on a subconscious level also. There must be what some call "Chemistry" as well as good verbal communication. "Chemistry" or subconscious communication is a very difficult thing to accomplish over long distance as it is based on every part of our senses to include verbal. It is the smells, the sights, the hormonal responses, the tastes, the sound modulations, and the touches all wrapped up in a neat little package. If you take away some of the parts of subconscious communication "chemistry" becomes harder to achieve. For example, if someone's body odor is offensive to you, it becomes more difficult to connect on every other level. The same if you find someone's voice grating to your ears, or their hands too soft or rough. Of course, these things can be over come, but it is more difficult than if they were not present to begin with. So the first thing my pet and I did to prepare for our being apart for over a year was to set up as many different types of communication as possible. The internet has been a huge help in this. We have video chat and can send pictures back and forth. As well as write our dreams and fantasies and worries to each other. We send clothing back and forth to each other to remember our smells. We have virtual sex as an aid to intimacy. And I have left a variety of tasks and chores peanut can perform in my absence so she can feel directed without me physically being there. All of this was done to enhance and facilitate the communication between the two of us during our separation. However, you can apply these things even if you aren't separated and have it benefit a relationship.
I will add more thoughts and describe some of the tasks and chores in later installments. Comments and discussion are very welcome.