How far is too far?

[KissedByFire]

Good afternoon everyone!

i am new to this site, and also new to the BDSM scene. I recently met, and am now in a relationship, with a sub of my own. Neither of us have ANY experience with pain-play or rope-play. We have not really progressed past what could and probably would be done in a vanilla relationship (light to medium spanking, and some cuffs). We have yet to explore pain thresholds, and this is the main reason for this post! (i know, finally right?)

My sub has told me more than once that she will be willing to try and endure anything if i ask her, but i know my limitations! (she seems to view me through rose tinted glasses). I might be a top, but i dont want to cause any pain which will put her off the scene, or push her away from me. So i was wondering how it would be possible to:

1. Discover pain thresholds.
2. Devise punishments (would they be punishments if they dont go above her threshold to be precise)
3. Finally (and most importantly) i have wanted to experiment with a whip for a LONG time now, and it is one of my subs personal fantasy's as well. but i realise how dangerous it would be if i tried it on her, and if we both want to try it, how can i get experience using it?

sorry for being so rambling + long winded, and i look forward to reading your replies.

xD

[bpqueen]

1) A flogging session with different areas of the body and different implements is very good at finding threshholds, but may be advanced if you are new to the Scene. Things like wax play and clothespins can be extremely painful without doing too much harm...just adjust the locations as needed.

2) Punishments will vary between people. Painful punishments could include kneeling on an upside down computer chair mat (with the plastic raised ridges) or on rice, but do not do anything to a submissive that you have not experienced yourself...Other punishments could include humiliation or emotional (disappointment or collar removal for serioius infractions) distress, but should not be approached lightly. Disappointment usually works most effectively for me.
3) PRACTICE and try and find training before handling whips. Use pillows, hitching posts, or hanging pieces of paper for targeting. Real bullwhips should only be handled and used by people who have lots of PRACTICAL experience handling them, and even then, many things are apt to go wrong and should be anticipated