TwistedTails
02-27-2009, 02:50 PM
I am posting this conversation I am having with a new member with her permission. She is interested in understanding Sadism and I feel that a variety of viewpoints would serve her better than just one. I have blocked out her user name for her privacy until she chooses to join the conversation.
Subject : sadism
Hola TwistedTails,
I'm new to the site and trying to learn. Ever since I became curious about bdsm the Sadist Dom has scared me. I think of a Dom that wants to hurt me and my wish is to run away. I think I'm confused. Would you talk with me about what a Sadist Dom is? Why He enjoys inflicting pain? I have questions. Maybe I'm trying to understand me as well.
**************
---------------------------------------------------
Howdy **************,
I can only speak for myself, but I would be happy to answer your questions. Actually I think the message you sent me would make a great thread starter in the forums. That way you could also get a variety of views on the subject.
Here are a couple of links on the subject of Sadism you may find interesting.
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=17452
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=12856
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2818
feel free to ask me anything.
-------------------------------------------------
Thank you for replying Sir :-)
I don't know what threads are. I'm new here. I'm just really curious about Sadism. It scares me and i want to understand it because a part of me likes it maybe i mean some pain and honestly I'm afraid of that and even submission. Does that make sense?
I don't know if there are different types of sadistic Dom/mes. And how do they know when to stop? And what drives the need to inflict pain? I don't even know why I think I like it a lil or even if what I am curious about is sadistic.
So how do I pose these questions Sir? In a way that doesn't sound dumb.
Gracias
**************
------------------------------------------------
Greetings **************,
Threads are just discussions in the forum, If you were to click one of the links I sent in the last message, it would take you to the "thread" or conversation that it links to.
Sadists come in many many types, from the casual sadist or "practical joker" to the criminally insane sadist and everything in between. I myself am in between. I label myself as a Sensual Sadist, because I use pain to enhance pleasure.
How to know when to stop? One, stop when you reach your goal. Example... I set a goal of 20 orgasms wearing labia clamps, I stop when she has had them. Two, She has reached a limit and cannot safely continue. or, Three it is not having the desired results. (it happens).
What drives the need to inflict pain? Control. Pain play is a very powerful submission. that is why you see so much of it blended into Domination and Submission. Many people who would never believe themselves to be sadistic or masochistic, yet they play with nipple clamps, abrasion, spanking or humiliation. all of these things fall into the realm of the sadomasochist.
How to pose your questions without sounding dumb? You have already done that. The questions you asked me were very good questions. I can only hope that the answers I have given are useful to you.
I am only one person, one view, one opinion, I encourage you to explore your interest in this topic. If you like, I could open a topic in the forum using our conversation so far to start it off. I certain that it would draw in a few more people who will also be happy to give you their point of view and offer assistance in your explorations.
Regards,
Bear.
---------------------------------------------------
Hola Sir ,
Thakn you for taking the time to reply.
And thanks for explaining what threads are :-)
I see pain is used to enhance pleasure Sir. Is this how a sub
reaches subspace?
Sir I was surprised to read anyone could reach 20 orgasms. That's amazing!
The way you explain how a sadist Dom knows when to stop makes so much sense. Reached limits, desired reuslt or it's not working at all. Sir when it's not working and you need to stop, is it because it's not working for you or your sub? If it works for you and not the sub is the sub to take it?
Sir, I never thought there's a bit of a sadist in all dominants and a bit of masochist in all subs. It makes sense to me now Sir. If I need a spanking or need bondage etc then I have a little of a masochist in me. If my Dom likes to give it to me and enjoys my reaction, then he has some sadist in him.
I guess it all depend on needs and balancing those needs? Just meeting the right Dom and for the Dom meeting the right sub.
Sir I'm feeling a little less scared of Sadist Doms. I know unless you are a slave and give up all rights to your dominant it doesn't have to be scary with the right One. Well, maybe scary mixed with pleasure...
Bear Sir I would love it if you opened up the topic. I'm curious about the range of sadism. How to know which one is right for you when you don't have much experience at all? Do you ask how they play and what interests them?
What if the dominant says, "Ok I like bondage, whipping" and you think you might want to try that not knowing how far the bondage and whipping will go. How do you keep safe and learn the range?
Some o/l want submission right away and I've learned they don't know themselves so well. Master is not just a name. Sir I can say out of respect (smiles) Leading or accepting submission is not just about sex... at least that's how I feel. I guess for others it is and it works.
I'm going to check the threads you sent me Sir. If you do open the topic, will you let me know where so I can read it and learn?
Thank you!
**************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings **************
I have opened the thread for you and I am placing this reply in it.
Pain is one way of reaching subspace, others only need to be pushed emotionally to reach it, luckily there are many very good threads on subspace in the library. I'm sure you will find them enlightening. I am glad you are feeling a little less scared of Sadist Doms. Scary with pleasure mixed in is good, but you should never have to fear even if you were a slave. My Jewel is owned and marked, but she does not fear me. She knows I would never cause her real harm as she is precious to me.
You asked "If it works for you and not the sub is the sub to take it?" Yes, I would expect her to endure for my pleasure up to the limit of her ability to do so. You should already know from talking with a potential partner what their interests are, and a good Dom will take the time to help you find yours. They will give you tools like safe words to help you become comfortable and remain safe.
I can not say much concerning online submission as I have never practiced it, but I do not believe you should call someone Master or Mistress unless you wish them to be yours and then only after they have earned your trust and respect.
You said "Sir I was surprised to read anyone could reach 20 orgasms. That's amazing! " My reply is that, I can see you have much to learn , and I suspect you will enjoy the journey. :)
Regards,
Bear
Subject : sadism
Hola TwistedTails,
I'm new to the site and trying to learn. Ever since I became curious about bdsm the Sadist Dom has scared me. I think of a Dom that wants to hurt me and my wish is to run away. I think I'm confused. Would you talk with me about what a Sadist Dom is? Why He enjoys inflicting pain? I have questions. Maybe I'm trying to understand me as well.
**************
---------------------------------------------------
Howdy **************,
I can only speak for myself, but I would be happy to answer your questions. Actually I think the message you sent me would make a great thread starter in the forums. That way you could also get a variety of views on the subject.
Here are a couple of links on the subject of Sadism you may find interesting.
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=17452
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=12856
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2818
feel free to ask me anything.
-------------------------------------------------
Thank you for replying Sir :-)
I don't know what threads are. I'm new here. I'm just really curious about Sadism. It scares me and i want to understand it because a part of me likes it maybe i mean some pain and honestly I'm afraid of that and even submission. Does that make sense?
I don't know if there are different types of sadistic Dom/mes. And how do they know when to stop? And what drives the need to inflict pain? I don't even know why I think I like it a lil or even if what I am curious about is sadistic.
So how do I pose these questions Sir? In a way that doesn't sound dumb.
Gracias
**************
------------------------------------------------
Greetings **************,
Threads are just discussions in the forum, If you were to click one of the links I sent in the last message, it would take you to the "thread" or conversation that it links to.
Sadists come in many many types, from the casual sadist or "practical joker" to the criminally insane sadist and everything in between. I myself am in between. I label myself as a Sensual Sadist, because I use pain to enhance pleasure.
How to know when to stop? One, stop when you reach your goal. Example... I set a goal of 20 orgasms wearing labia clamps, I stop when she has had them. Two, She has reached a limit and cannot safely continue. or, Three it is not having the desired results. (it happens).
What drives the need to inflict pain? Control. Pain play is a very powerful submission. that is why you see so much of it blended into Domination and Submission. Many people who would never believe themselves to be sadistic or masochistic, yet they play with nipple clamps, abrasion, spanking or humiliation. all of these things fall into the realm of the sadomasochist.
How to pose your questions without sounding dumb? You have already done that. The questions you asked me were very good questions. I can only hope that the answers I have given are useful to you.
I am only one person, one view, one opinion, I encourage you to explore your interest in this topic. If you like, I could open a topic in the forum using our conversation so far to start it off. I certain that it would draw in a few more people who will also be happy to give you their point of view and offer assistance in your explorations.
Regards,
Bear.
---------------------------------------------------
Hola Sir ,
Thakn you for taking the time to reply.
And thanks for explaining what threads are :-)
I see pain is used to enhance pleasure Sir. Is this how a sub
reaches subspace?
Sir I was surprised to read anyone could reach 20 orgasms. That's amazing!
The way you explain how a sadist Dom knows when to stop makes so much sense. Reached limits, desired reuslt or it's not working at all. Sir when it's not working and you need to stop, is it because it's not working for you or your sub? If it works for you and not the sub is the sub to take it?
Sir, I never thought there's a bit of a sadist in all dominants and a bit of masochist in all subs. It makes sense to me now Sir. If I need a spanking or need bondage etc then I have a little of a masochist in me. If my Dom likes to give it to me and enjoys my reaction, then he has some sadist in him.
I guess it all depend on needs and balancing those needs? Just meeting the right Dom and for the Dom meeting the right sub.
Sir I'm feeling a little less scared of Sadist Doms. I know unless you are a slave and give up all rights to your dominant it doesn't have to be scary with the right One. Well, maybe scary mixed with pleasure...
Bear Sir I would love it if you opened up the topic. I'm curious about the range of sadism. How to know which one is right for you when you don't have much experience at all? Do you ask how they play and what interests them?
What if the dominant says, "Ok I like bondage, whipping" and you think you might want to try that not knowing how far the bondage and whipping will go. How do you keep safe and learn the range?
Some o/l want submission right away and I've learned they don't know themselves so well. Master is not just a name. Sir I can say out of respect (smiles) Leading or accepting submission is not just about sex... at least that's how I feel. I guess for others it is and it works.
I'm going to check the threads you sent me Sir. If you do open the topic, will you let me know where so I can read it and learn?
Thank you!
**************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings **************
I have opened the thread for you and I am placing this reply in it.
Pain is one way of reaching subspace, others only need to be pushed emotionally to reach it, luckily there are many very good threads on subspace in the library. I'm sure you will find them enlightening. I am glad you are feeling a little less scared of Sadist Doms. Scary with pleasure mixed in is good, but you should never have to fear even if you were a slave. My Jewel is owned and marked, but she does not fear me. She knows I would never cause her real harm as she is precious to me.
You asked "If it works for you and not the sub is the sub to take it?" Yes, I would expect her to endure for my pleasure up to the limit of her ability to do so. You should already know from talking with a potential partner what their interests are, and a good Dom will take the time to help you find yours. They will give you tools like safe words to help you become comfortable and remain safe.
I can not say much concerning online submission as I have never practiced it, but I do not believe you should call someone Master or Mistress unless you wish them to be yours and then only after they have earned your trust and respect.
You said "Sir I was surprised to read anyone could reach 20 orgasms. That's amazing! " My reply is that, I can see you have much to learn , and I suspect you will enjoy the journey. :)
Regards,
Bear