Crying

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

When she/he starts to cry is this the beginning, middle, or end of your scene?

[Pearlgem]

As a sub, I do all three.

I might cry at the beginning from fear, frustration or vanilla-to-sub breakthrough.
In the middle, from pain, intensity, deep submission.
At the end, to relieve profound emotions or to express submissive joy. I prefer this one!

None are a reason, in themselves, to stop a scene. Just work out why I'm crying (might be the desired effect) and deal with it appropriately. Like many females I often find tears cathartic and cleansing.

[WyldWyl]

Pearlgem is pretty much right on the money. Whilst tears aren't in themselves a reason to stop, you should be very careful, and take the time to find out why they're happening, just in case you DO in fact need to stop. Communication.

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

Pearlgem is pretty much right on the money. Whilst tears aren't in themselves a reason to stop, you should be very careful, and take the time to find out why they're happening, just in case you DO in fact need to stop. Communication.

I'd like to be sure I understand you. Are you saying that what Pearlgem replied is right for all subs? I am very leery of sweeping all-inclusive statements since we kinky folks vary so much. For instance we have no physical punishment in our relationship while for others that's an integral part of who they are.

As to communication that's a given, but that dynamic will vary if the session is part of a long-term relationship or if it may be a first or second time in a new relationship, or a casual play party scene, etc. The methodology of communication will vary.

[TwistedTails]

QUOTE Dr_BuzzCzar; Are you saying that what Pearlgem replied is right for all subs? I am very leery of sweeping all-inclusive statements since we kinky folks vary so much. QUOTE

I think what Pearlgem said is a very good guide, but as you noted nothing is one size fits all. Strong emotions can happen anytime and tears do not always mean the same thing. So it is best to talk a bit about the tears if they were unexpected, or if you do not know your partner well.

Are tears the end of the scene? I think the best answer you are going to get is somewhere between "not always" and "rarely".

[WyldWyl]

Of course it won't be right for all subs. Knowing your sub inside and out is the key to taking proper care of them.

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

Are tears the end of the scene? I think the best answer you are going to get is somewhere between "not always" and "rarely".

The point I wanted to get to is there is no single answer, there are just responses. We(the communal "we") are different and this is just one small example. I actually ganked this question from a blog I read regularly. There was a significant variation in the responses to her question to other subs so I was curious what would transpire here.

[BlackDom32]

Crying usually happens beginning and middle. The beginning when the idea is presented. Also, typically while everything is happening and sometimes can during the end as well depending on how intense the session was.