My Life is Too Busy for BDSM

[ValKyrie]

Well, not entirely, but we have a difficult time making time for scening.

Whether because of the demands of parenthood, both of us working full time, or simply just exhaustion, we struggle making special time together.

Oh, and we are in a long distance relationship for now. We get together every week or weekend, but try fitting so much into a short amount of time, the best we can manage is some CBT and lots of intercourse.

I know, it sounds like I am whining, and maybe I am, but I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation.

How do you handle it?

Do you have any ideas for coping with the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day?

:D

[Finding_Fantasy]

TG and I are in the exact same situation. I have a fulltime job and we have a 16 month old daughter. We also have other goals and obligations like his work in the Subbie Task feature and my writing as well as the day to day things like laundry.

We try and often fail doing anything BDSM related but we do the best we can and are thankful for the little bit here and there that we can get. We just basically have to realize that life cannot revolve around BDSM 24/7 as much as we may want it to. "Real" life interfers more often than not and we just keep up the hope that we will eventually be able to do more together.

Another alternative, perhaps, is have him do things while he is away, just so that the thought and the mood is still there and you still feel like you have some sort of control and he is still doing something to please you. It could be anything, really, from wearing (or not wearing) something specific or doing something each night before bedtime and then having him report to you on what it felt like, any hurdles he had to overcome... or have him keep a submissive journal for you to read when you are together. Just a few suggestions.

Just hang in there. It's tough I know, but the little bit you do get is worth the wait and perhaps you will be more able to be more vigorous in the future.

[MrJerseyGuy]

First time I noticed this thread...but man can I sympathize! We live 5 minutes apart but both have kids and only have every other weekend for special play. Factor in work schedules, fatigue and trying to do something like a night out...(not to mention her periods!) and it seems like sometimes we go 2 months between good bdsm sessions! We both enjoy the hell out of it...but it is tough to fit it in sometimes!

[ValKyrie]

Oh my!

That is another thing. We aren't getting any younger and there are times our physical health limits our play time.

*sigh*

Guess I have to enjoy the opportunity to place a quick ball crunching grasp when I can!

:[

[PopeRozen]

Valkyrie,

I empathize! My situation isn't as bad, but I still only get together with my sub about once per week. That's tough when I'm in class and thinking "how could I get her breasts, crotch, ankles, and wrists in one tie and how much rope would I need?"

We just talk on the phone a lot, and try to plan out the scene in advance so we can get right to the fun stuff when we're together. That way we're the good kind of tired the next day.

Peace

[-angelstar-]

once a week is plenty :)

for the past year or so, i only met my dom like one weekend every month on average.... two weekends at best... and when it got bad, we didnt see each other at all for two months.

it's just pure :( but he was very busy with his work, and i had school, and it was long distance (the kind where you need to hop on a flight to get to each other)... so it wasnt that good. and while i was able to get used to it and just not expect more, he just couldnt handle not seeing me more frequently, so he ended the relationship a couple of days ago.

moral of the story... long distance anything... isnt good. :(

[NaturalSub]

I can sympathise with you. although, my situation isn;t quite the same.

For a good six months or so, I was seeing my master at least 3 or 4 times a week, and whilst we didn;t have that much kinky sex. the whole mind control and humiliation type stuff was there pretty much constantly.

He works in the armed forces and was posted in the Falklands, I haven;t seen him for 11 weeks, and he still has another 10 weeks to go until he comes home. When he does come home, he is being posted out of Norfolk and will be a good 400 miles away from me, although we have made a commitment to see each other every other week, which suits me as I train with the TA everyother weekend!

It will be another year before we can see each other regularly again. When I fully qualify, I am going to move to where he will be posted at that time. But hell, it's a long time to wait.

Long distance can work, provided there is a glimmer of hope in the distance that it won;t be a long distance thing forever!

[PopeRozen]

Peace.
I used to go to school out of state, and it was a 16-hour drive back home, but I still managed to stay in a relationship like that for a year. It can work, but being close is definetly better! :cool: