Abuse

[Mizar]

I had this friend, we no longer talk, who, months ago, made this sidelong comment on how he doesnt get how I can abuse women. Now. This pissed Me off, I let it slide and didnt say anything because he doesnt get this lifestyle etc. But at the same time, he is a guy who has, punched, slapped, and thrown around his girlfriends when he gets angry, among other things. Just out of curiosity. Has anyone else ever gotten anything like this and what did you do? I mean....being told I abuse women within the confines of BDSM and he actualy abuses them, when no one else was around, if something started and I or anyone else was there, we stopped it. But still. Just curious.

[Ozme52]

So... you are lucky you were in a postion to stop him, once or twice. Did you report him to the police or social services? Seems like just a band-aid if not.

So... he accused you of being abusive, kind of the pot calling the kettle black. You know you do so for mutual pleasure, never when you're angry, AND can justify it because you have consent.

So what's the issue? Doesn't seem 'bothersome' to me to be accused by an abuser... more worrisome that you didn't help your former friend... or more importantly the woman he beat on.

Not pointing a finger, just food for thought should the opportunity rise again.

[Mizar]

I never did call the police or any such thing, although I did encourage the women to everytime, and to get out etc. I told them I would always stop him when I could but it was not my place to do so. And I have thought about that many times, but if I called and they didnt want me to, would they not say that he didnt?

I have thought about that very fact many times, and many times wish I had anyways.

[jeanne]

I've been in that same situation, Mizar. It's definitely a tough call to make, especially when you're young. As I grew older, it became easier to do "the right thing", even knowing that it may not be appreciated.

[Ozme52]

I never did call the police or any such thing, although I did encourage the women to everytime, and to get out etc. I told them I would always stop him when I could but it was not my place to do so. And I have thought about that many times, but if I called and they didnt want me to, would they not say that he didnt?
I hear that Mizar. It can indeed be a conundrum.

I have thought about that very fact many times, and many times wish I had anyways.

Equally tough is finding out after the fact, and how you wish your female friend had just spoken up.

It must be a difficult situation to be in.

[Mizar]

Very.