View Full Version : Does God Have a Sense of Humour?
... Well, He created Mankind, didn't He?
Thorne
01-10-2010, 07:20 PM
... Well, He created Mankind, didn't He?
Did he?
Sometimes I think you are quite Puritanical in your agnosticism, Thorne. Go on ... indulge yourself ... exercise your God-given right to have a laugh. :D
Thorne
01-11-2010, 01:07 PM
Sometimes I think you are quite Puritanical in your agnosticism, Thorne. Go on ... indulge yourself ... exercise your God-given right to have a laugh. :D
LOL! You cut me to the quick, good sir. Puritanical? Ouch!
But what if we have it wrong? Perhaps God did not create Mankind, but She created Womankind. That whole story about the rib seems just a little flaky to me. As far as we know She didn't even have any barbecue sauce!
Now admit it, wouldn't you just love to see the looks on the faces of those sad old men in Rome, Mecca and Jerusalem if it could be proven that God created Woman in Her own image? Why, I just might have to become a believer, then!
Puritanical. Bah! Humbug!
If God were female, the creation would have been done in a day, and everything put away at the end, neat and tidy. What's this about the Day of Rest? No time for that nonsense! After creating the World and the seas and the skies and all therein, She'd still have had time to make a meal at the end of each day, and make Herself look good for Her man for the evening ...
Her man?
Oh yes. She'd have had to make Adam. Who else could She talk to? But She'd never have created Eve: She'd not share him with anyone, least of all that tart! Parading around naked and all ... where's her dignity?
Thorne
01-11-2010, 07:48 PM
Her man?
Oh yes. She'd have had to make Adam. Who else could She talk to? But She'd never have created Eve: She'd not share him with anyone, least of all that tart! Parading around naked and all ... where's her dignity?
Chauvanist! Assuming God would need a man just because She's a woman? If anything, She'd have made Adam an hermaphrodite, then told him to go fuck himself.
How can I be a chauvinist if I acknowledge the possibility of a female God?
I've never understood this thing about women not needing men at all: they eat fish, don't they? They ride bikes?
TwistedTails
01-12-2010, 12:14 PM
Does god have a sense of humor? Ever seen a Platypus? LOL
Thorne
01-12-2010, 03:49 PM
I've never understood this thing about women not needing men at all: they eat fish, don't they? They ride bikes?
What? That one went WAY over my head. I didn't have to duck at all!
LOL @ TwistedTails. Yeah - that about proves it!
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God.
God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused
on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously
by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you
also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions.
I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you
decide where you want to go."
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied,
"Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?"
Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't
I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your
decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"
Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked
back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash
of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.
When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a
beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and
tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women
frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a
deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this
is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."
Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and
a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven
was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting
about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus.
It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for
God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity.
Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to
see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found
Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men
and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.
"So, how is everything going?" God asked.
Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I
visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening!
What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the
mountains and the beautiful women?
"That was the demo," replied God.
Does god have a sense of humor? Ever seen a Platypus? LOL
or a giraffe , what is with the gangly legs and incrdibly extended neck, and I agree with you TT...lol mix up with dna?
Now admit it, wouldn't you just love to see the looks on the faces of those sad old men in Rome, Mecca and Jerusalem if it could be proven that God created Woman in Her own image? Why, I just might have to become a believer, then!
Puritanical. Bah! Humbug!
Men from Mecca don't believe god was created from a dude's image.
Personally, if humans were made from God's image, I would think it would be the female form, not the male form. While they have awesome curves, dudes got an odd hangy thing sticking out at the front.
fetishdj
01-19-2010, 02:41 AM
As we all know, women are beautiful creatures to be admired and worshipped for their perfect bodies. Men, on the other hand, are ugly and hairy and should not be seen in the light of day.
Frankly, if god does exist (and if he does, could someone get me his phone number? I lost it in my last new phone change over), he's more like a negligent landlord who moves the tenants in and buggers off - refusing to answer the phone when they call to complain about the dwindling power supply, the faulty weather, the hole in the atmosphere that needs patching with new ozone and all the morons who misunderstand everything he told them about the original lease (the one chiselled in stone) and its later amendments (the ones written on papyrus).
DuncanONeil
01-23-2010, 10:16 AM
Somebody may have said this but, the Platypus?
DuncanONeil
01-23-2010, 10:18 AM
or a giraffe , what is with the gangly legs and incrdibly extended neck, and I agree with you TT...lol mix up with dna?
Could a Giraffe be an evolve Brontosaur?
Thorne
01-23-2010, 12:25 PM
Could a Giraffe be an evolve Brontosaur?
Nope. The dinosaurs were an evolutionary dead end. The giraffe got so ridiculous all on his own.