What if the sub feels naughty and wants to dominate you?

[MaxxPayne]

I guess it must be a very common newb doubt. Might have been discussed in some thread before. But I was curious about such a scenario. What is the best option, if you really love her and want to see her happy, but really hate to be tied up?

[Archeon]

Explain to her that it would make you feel very uncomfortable, and go from there.

Open communication is the key.

[leah06]

A big question would be why does she want to do that. If it's important to her and she feels that a part of herself is not being expressed, then maybe she wants to experiment with switching and maybe you and she need to figure out a way that she can do that. Can she play with others? Can you introduce a third into your experience?

Maybe she's not really thinking about the emotions of Dominance or switching, though. Maybe she enjoys the sensations you give her and she'd like to share them with you. Maybe just the thought of transgressing by topping you is erotic for her. In that case, maybe you want to let her do some sensation play with you, whether it's bondage or whatever, that you don't hate. You can add to the naughtiness and transgression by promising to "punish" her for what she's doing when the tables turn.

[thir]

I guess it must be a very common newb doubt. Might have been discussed in some thread before. But I was curious about such a scenario. What is the best option, if you really love her and want to see her happy, but really hate to be tied up?


A not uncommon problem. If you could manage, get over a hurdle, I'd say give it a chance. But I do not think anyone should do anything that really feels wrong. It would be like trying to give something you don't have to give.

Why not let her play with another?

[Guera]

IF my him wants to try to dominate me, its just a really great excuse for me to tie him up and beat him :)

[cougarlove]

where do i start when i really have sumthin to say? well, he was a little fibbin cute 19 y/o cub that said he was 25, or so i thought, but he says he only said he looks 25, wtf eva, u/god/i just changed my life forever and i will never be the same...
idk what we will do to eachother next, but he is def the dom cub to my sub cougar!

[Jennifer Williams]

I think it's a matter of taste. I'll have my sub "dominate" me for a little while during play sometimes; on rare occasions he'll actually ask to do it; it's usually short-lived because the minute we get too turned on, there he is on the bottom almost by accident, but it's still a fun game we like to play.

We both trust each other implicitly and we both know who is in charge, so I suppose for us, it is just a fun game.

[Fiera]

Well, I am sure that this will put a new spin on things. I am going to give you a different bit of advise since you asked for it.

You are probably used to being the top but you love her. I get this, but it is an experience my friend and it is all about perspective. Make it about sensation. Watch her, what does she look like? Smell her perfume and memorize her, feel what she is giving you. Experience what she is giving you. Let her give it to you. So you are tied up? That is wonderful. For once in your life there is no need to be in charge of everything. In fact for once, you are only in charge of doing as you are told and pleasing her and man flying if you can get that far. When you are in her presence breathe and listen and follow. Consentrate on the scene and then when it's over you tell me if you like being tied up.

Of course you realize that a switch is giving you this advise. :rolleyes:

[Lisais mine]

well, like a friend of mine told me, it's nice to want things. is Lisa tried this crap, i'd just hold her down and beat her :D

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

when i get a bit that way master just pulls out the hood and leather and binds me and torments me till im putty lol.

[lapetite_2812]

Maybe just the thought of transgressing by topping you is erotic for her.

Not maybe, that's exactly it. There is something very erotic to see a strong man's body, the shirt off, hands tied loosely behind the back. A whip is playing over his back, lightly in the beginning, then more and more strongly. Stop for a pull of his hair and massage of his crotch, then some more whips and watch his muscles strain and move. Then the sarcastic look thrown over his shoulder , as if saying "This is all you can?", then his words "NOW, untie me" ....

Something like this. Nothing humiliating at all, just erotic and sensuous.

[DomBob]

If your lifestyle is limited to bedroom role-play, go for it. But I would not think it would work for a 24/7 relationship.

HOWEVER: Subs often have trouble expressing what they want in a scene. If you do a switch - chances are the sub will behave the way they WANT the dom to behave so it might be a good learning experience.

Ideally - if your sub wants to play dom, find another sub for them to work with and watch what your sub does.

[Master?]

Isn't the keyword in the subject line "Naughty"?

That would tell me that she may be pushing you to prove your dominance over her and to punish her for challanging you?

[lapetite_2812]

I'd like to share just one more thing in connection with my upper post. The depicted situation started like a playful, eroticly sensuous game. I myself didn't look or thought about it as if I am dominating or being toppy. Nothing of the wild adrenaline and emotions that I feel when I am being submissive happened. As I said, it was just erotic and sensuous for me. But maybe only for me. Although he had agreed to my small "game" and had taken it, after I untied him, there followed one of the most emotionally and physically excrutiating experiences for me. Almost all of my limits of taking pain and humiliation were tested. So alongside with my understanding that I am definetely not interested in switching or in dominating, I was made to understand what "challenge" to my Dom means.

[Jennifer Williams]

lapetite I'd just like to say that both of your posts here were just delicious. Almost makes me wish my sub would try to seriously top me...