anal

[sub_nia]

I have a new Dom and he really likes anal. I have tried it once or twice but I always freak out while we are doing it and have to stop. I want to please him and want to do it for him, but I just can't seem to get passed how much it hurts. Has anyone else had this problem, or one like it? How did you get passed it?

[Bobbitsj]

This might sounds silly but, I was once told by a Domme that the anus is disgned to relaxe from the inside out. So, when going from the outside in it will tend to be painful. She told me to just relaxe and don't worry, it's just mind over matter. I guess that was easy for her to say but whatever, it worked for me. Complete relaxation and plenty of lube and take your time is my advice, for what it's worth.

[Saheli]

I had been interested in anal for a while, but every time I tried to do it it was just too painful. So what I started to do was see how long it took to relax when I was taking a bath. The warm water helped, and a bath is relaxing anyway. This is the only way I can do it for now: I take a bath, finger my ass for a while, and then when I feel like I am ready, I get out, put lots of lube outside and inside, and then I have anal sex. I'm sure eventually it won't have to be such a long, drawn out thing for me, but for now that's the only thing that works. I've tried it without the bath first, but I always end up ripping my asshole a little so I don't particularly like that. Maybe you could try the bath thing..

[Ozme52]

Telling someone to "relax" is all well and good... but doesn't do much to actually aid you in the midst of the invasion. (Heheh... the word "invasion" is soooo visual for me. ;) )

But if you actually "push" as if you were evacuating your bowels (not squeeze but push) you'll help loosen your sphincter and open up quite a bit.

When I detect resistance at my girl's backside, I remind her to push and it definitely helps.

I was myself reminded of this technique just this morning by my doctor during my digital rectal exam. (Not that she has particularly thick fingers... but then I don't find myself bent over a padded bench all that often either. LOL)

[Saheli]

Telling someone to "relax" is all well and good... but doesn't do much to actually aid you in the midst of the invasion. (Heheh... the word "invasion" is soooo visual for me. ;) )


Very true

[dslilgirl]

The way I got ready for anal was with a plug, we worked our way up to the current size and by the time it was time for him to get behind me he went in with ease and I loved it. Now he demands that I use my plug everyday for a hour to keep me loose. Maybe you should talk to your Dom to help, but remember start little.

[Archeon]

Telling someone to "relax" is all well and good... but doesn't do much to actually aid you in the midst of the invasion. (Heheh... the word "invasion" is soooo visual for me. ;) )

But if you actually "push" as if you were evacuating your bowels (not squeeze but push) you'll help loosen your sphincter and open up quite a bit.

When I detect resistance at my girl's backside, I remind her to push and it definitely helps.

I was myself reminded of this technique just this morning by my doctor during my digital rectal exam. (Not that she has particularly thick fingers... but then I don't find myself bent over a padded bench all that often either. LOL)

Now all I can think when I see your avatar is a little green man getting anally violated.

[oww-that-hurt]

To makes things easy and fun, go slowly. This isn't a horse race!
There is no such thing as too much lube. The more the merrier.
"JO H2O Warming Water Based Anal Personal Lubricant" is excellent, stays around, is very slick, is latex safe, and is silicon friendly for your favorite silicon butt-plug.
Set aside some time for yourself. Collect your supplies (lube, clean-up towel, sterilized and warmed plug, music if you want, oh heck, light a few candles, too). Get relaxed. Lube up a couple of fingers and then massage around your anus, slowly slipping in one or two, in-out-twisting - more lube, and when you feel relaxed enough work in the plug. Do not live with pain! If pain, back out and get back to fingers.
With practice you will get the correct feel for how YOUR body will accept something through the anal ring. You will be able to move on from the plug to silicon dildoes, then the real thing for that special anniversary present.
Good Luck

[sera]

Now all I can think when I see your avatar is a little green man getting anally violated.

That might explain the expression on his face. ROFL


Sorry nia, I have nothing constructive to add, but I just couldn't pass that up. *giggle*

[AnticipatingPain]

Just go slow and as Oz says push out, being touched arousingly at the same time helps; trust me it's worth it in the end...... hmmm bliss.

[Ozme52]

That might explain the expression on his face. ROFL

Just remember.

I'll be back!!

[Ozme52]

Now all I can think when I see your avatar is a little green man getting anally violated.

Violated is such an "ugly" term Arch.

Imagine the little green man, a leash wrapped around his fist, straight and tautly connected to the collar of an appreciative sub, mouth agape and stuffed with a thick cock, one hand between her legs, one between his...

Does that work better for you? :hubba:

;)

[skittish doe]

Does that work better for you? :hubba:

;)



Umm, yes Sir, as a matter of fact it does...

[sera]

Just remember.

I'll be back!!

:eek: uh-oh










:p

[CottonCandyPink]

Hi, I had a dom who really helped me in this area. If your very new at anal, the 'pushing' might be a bit worrysome if your unsure something other than what your wanting to may also come out.
Anyhow...
He instructed me the anus is nothing more than a muscle and needs to be worked as such. Begin with a butt plug. Insert it until it becomes uncomfortable holding it there squeeze your anus , then release, squeeze, release. Do this ten times, then remove the plug. Start all over again, If you do this several times a day You will find over time you can take more and more of the plug. Always for me once I get to the wider part it feels more like a sucking in action than pushing out.

[Guinevere666]

Hi, I never really liked anal , but got used to it with a mix of all the things s far mentioned . And went along for the pleasure if gave the Dom. I'm now in a relationship where I really respect , admire ? Love the Dom . ( previous were more play partners) . At the start he told me he didn't particularly like anal which was a relief . Last time we were together , following a bondage , flogging and beautiful after care session I was so relaxed and happy, that he accidentally penetratede anally .It was wonderful , I totally
enjoyed , and he did too- once he realised . I guess really all I'm saying is being relaxed is the key .

[Midnytedreams]

This takes great will power on the part of the Dominant , but I have found it to help with first time anal, be well lubed and warmed up from fingers on anus rubbing not penetrating, The Dom places the tip of the head of his cock to your asshole, then doesn't move except to make small circles as he grasps the base, He doesn't push at all, He waits til you start to push back onto Him, never moving until you beg him to. This should help with the anxiety you feel as you can take as much as you can and get accustomed to being penetrated .at your own pace.

[Utburd]

in my own experience as a Dom, (wouldnt normally comment on this forum but as others have I will too) I find that practice and regular stretching really help.

I also think that its really important for a subby to have an orgasm during anal sex (helps her perceive the activity as pleasurable and acts as a reward).

Patience is also essential! (to echo pretty much everything above) on both sides, a Sub cant expect to become a anal goddess over night, and a Dom cant expect one session of anal sex to make her wiling every time and to remove all her concerns. Both of these things take time.

a sub has to still continue to exercise and keep stretched.

and a Dom still has to take it it slow and be reassuring, until youre both fully comfortable.

Obviously people take to it in completely different ways, Ive know Doms to hate it, and subs to like it better than regular sex.

hope that helps a little

U.

PS Oz... Im still having trouble associating that macho image with your avatar.

[brwneydgirl]

The Dom places the tip of the head of his cock to your asshole, then doesn't move except to make small circles as he grasps the base, He doesn't push at all, He waits til you start to push back onto Him, never moving until you beg him to.



Is there a sign-up sheet going around for this^?

[leah06]

Dan Savage, Savage Love column 9/25/2008:

I order you to start having anal sex with your boyfriend immediately, ANAL. Tons of anal -- but without letting your boyfriend's cock come anywhere near your ass, 'kay?

In other words: yes to anal, no to dick. Think tongues, lubed-up fingers, very small toys and smooth, clean vibrators used non-insertively (which is fancy sex-advice talk for "lay the vibrator on your asshole, don't shove it the fuck in"), not dick. If you find that you enjoy other kinds of anal sex -- and you will -- your boyfriend's dick may start to look like a shiny new toy, or an enticing upgrade option, and not the intimidating asshammer that it appears to be now.

But for this to work, your boyfriend has to swear on a stack of Jack Morin's Anal and Pleasure & Healths that he will pleasure your ass, and get you off, without attempting to rush you or pressure you into dick-in-ass buttfucking until you decide you're ready.

I know that this isn't exactly to the point, but close enough. Basically, if you're excited enough, then his cock is going to feel better in your ass. I also recommend that he finger you vaginally or clitorally until you're very excited.

[Ozme52]

PS Oz... Im still having trouble associating that macho image with your avatar.

What? You don't appreciate green leathers?

Then I guess you'll have to ask those who've met me. ;)

[13'sbadkitty]

Just go slow and as Oz says push out, being touched arousingly at the same time helps; trust me it's worth it in the end...... hmmm bliss.

that always does it for me too, plus it usually helps if He has been in my pussy for a while and had me cum some too, actually i am pretty sure that there are few things in life that don't go better when W/we start out like that :D

[agirlsfantasy]

i have loved anal for quite some time. i got started by enjoying the feeling of my thong on my butt hole. Then i started using my finger in small circles around the outside and daring to tip inside. One night after playing and getting completely hot and bothered after Master made me squirt about 10 times (the key is to get worked up before you begin anal play), i asked Master if he would try it on me as my ex had been too reluctant to even try. Master put tons of lube on His hard cock and rubbed some on my butt hole as i was leaning over onto the bed, while standing. He slowly put the head up to my butt hole and put the head just inside until it hit my ring. Then HE stood still and i slowly backed into HIM. This way i had complete control and was able to relax easier. my Master is good though because He is always adding more lube (above post is correct, you can NEVER have enough lube) but i have since become an anal slut and love it any chance Master gives it to me. It truly brings out the animal side of me...

[bbbbadbetty]

Not everyone enjoys everything. Not everyone has the aptitude to do everything. That being said, there are (mental) exercises to try to relax, perhaps even have a glass or two of wine, and then there are actual physical exercises you can work through to ease you into anal play. Discuss your desire to please with your Master, work with him to get you to a comfortable point. Start with fingers, then a slim butt plug, etc. The hardest (bad pun) part of anal play is entry through the first spfinchter (did I spell that right?) - if you can allow him to ease in and then just hold it as your body adjusts, you will find your rectum will then actually welcome him in further. I happen to be a huge fan of anal play and can achieve multiple orgasms through this stimulation. I always encourage people to give new things a try (more than one) to ensure you don't miss out on some wonderful sensations. When all else fails, your Master will be so proud of you for your attempts to please him, and it can just be chalked up to a limit for you. Best of luck to you!

[flying66]

so many answers already but I wanna add my 2 cents!

I love anal and honestly the best way to do it is to prepare before you do it.

get some water-based lube and work it around the area and onto your fingers and then slowly inside, you'll know when you are relaxed

grab a plug (a small one maybe) then lube that up too and slowly work like 1/4 inch in and out for a while.

Take as long as you need to relax! When you feel comfortable with the 1/4 inch then work in another 1/4

Do that until you can work it in to the widest part of the plug and don't go past it! Just work in and out to there since once you get past the wide part it really just 'pops in' cuz your ass wants to close and it's so slippery from lube.

Make sure you hold on to the end basically and just work it until you are relaxed and comfortable.

Then you can grab a bigger plug if you feel the need and repeat the previous.

Wear the plug for a while (10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, whatever you need) then when you have sex, you're ass will be open and tell him to go slow

have fun!

[sub_nia]

Thanks everyone! You all had really good advice!