Is it too much to ask?

[Master Trin]

Is it to much to ask for a submissive that I can talk to. When I say talk I don't mean command or demean. Just talk to, have an intelligent fulfilling conversation with. I want a submissive who I can dominate for our mutual pleasure, not one who hates herself and only is happy when she can block herself out and “focus” on me. Is it too much to ask for a D/s or M/s relationship where you can find as much joy in just being close to each other not saying much but knowing that the other person is yours willingly and for her knowing that she is owned completely and wanted and needed. Is it so wrong for a Dominant or Master to “need.”

I have searched, I have sought, a few times I thought that it was indeed possible but there was always a “but.” The submissive was hiding things from her past that needed to be dealt with at a professional level and not dressed up as “kinks” or another where I was basically used as therapy for clinical depression that was not mentioned at the start, and when she found that she was falling for me she suddenly realized that “she could not do this to me.”

I read things on this site, accounts written by women, things that seem genuine, my experiences however tell me something else. I have given up hope of finding a woman IRL for the moment but perhaps there is someone online, someone genuine, someone not looking for a cheap thrill and a 10 dollar whore humiliation experience. Perhaps there is someone who finds equal pleasure in exploring her bdsm kinks whatever they may be, bondage, humiliation, service etc and an actual normal relationship intertwined. One life not a “lifestyle” One life where you can be both respected as a woman and friend and dominated and if you like , humiliated as a submissive or slave girl. Where I can be both kind and strict, loving and Dominating, not having to choose one over the other.

I have been called soft, have been accused of not being a “true” master, I have been labeled and I have been classified by the so called norms of the dominant Alpha male master.

I do not give a shit.

I know what I want and will not settle for a fabrication, a game, I want the real deal be it face to face or be it online and I am willing to wait for what I want.

[_ID_]

It is certainly not too much to ask.

[xinemae]

"I do not give a shit.

I know what I want and will not settle for a fabrication, a game, I want the real deal be it face to face or be it online and I am willing to wait for what I want."

Good for you! and no it isn't too much to ask for. What you're describing is almost exactly what Master and I have. Unfortunately there are a lot of people on both sides of the slash who either make things out to be different or completely hide things all together.

I do wish you much luck in your search... Master may have a few names if you're interested.

[Master Trin]

Thank you for your support

[jade88310]

It seems as though we are looking for many of the same things. I actually know IDCrewDawg and xinemae personally and they pointed out your post to me. They have the type of relationship that you are describing, the kind that I am looking for myself.

[sagacioussaga]

There is a time where someone wants a deeper relationship. And you, Sir, are looking for just that. It's a hard thing for someone, especially a submissive to face his/her fears and deal with his/her past problems. My own haunted me for years before I was able to face them and tear down the cinder-block walls. One does not have to be cold and non-endearing to be a true Master. You're looking for a 'real' person who is true to not only you but themselves. We do exist, sir. I assure you of that.

[Flaming_Redhead]

In my opinion, this thread should be moved to the Personals section because it's nothing more than an ad.

[Master Trin]

To each his/her own opinion, my intentuon is to discuss realistic life as opposed to thrill based lifestyle activities.

[denuseri]

Of course it is possible and no it’s not too much to ask for, in fact I would think it’s preferred.

I’ve never had any long term r/l relationship where it wasn't the norm really.

In fact, most of my interactions online have also involved a lot of general talking etc.

To be honest it sounds like you may have been spending too much time on role-play centered chat sites that promote degrading toy play or something along those lines.

I recommend you participate here for a while and talk to some of us in chat who are not here just to get our jollies and maybe go to a local munch or too.

[Master Trin]

I was actually introduced to bdsm by a gorean slavegirl and you are partially correct my early experiences were pleasure based, Gor themed, I was part of a homestone on yahoo in the old days of user created rooms. Ths was a very good experience but one where the views of the slaves were not really addressed, free women in Gor were almost universally very good compamy though but i didnt really want a FW for a partner, I found that groean kajira usually are excellent at pleasing and serving but lack original thought for the most part. not all mind you but a lot. i moved away from Gor to mainstream becuase i wanted a nore ballanced experience but truth be told if one were to find a true Gorean kajira who is also an independent thinker and has a strong sense of self worth that would quite possibly be heaven on earth heh.

[denuseri]

Well all I can say for the online part of your experience (especially conserning gor) is that in a role play based chat where one's only contact with gor is with those who all too often miss the forest for a single tree, a real life practicioner of gorean philosophies doth not make.

I nor any of those I know in real life who practice the art of this paticular brand of o.s. type bdsm would fit into the discription you have given, in fact I think I can hear my sisters laughing at the preception that we are some how lacking in intellect or originality for we often hold that one should never be a door stop or dull and booring in our submission. Quite the oppoisite in fact; words like inventive, erudite, enticing, aluring, and beguileing, even willful come to mind, tamed not by the weak are we.

In fact, even once collared one may find we are never really "tammed" ever if at all.

In other words it sounds (based soley upon the information you have provided) that most of those you've interacted with in the past who called themselves goreans, were pretending to the title and those online submissives were in fact only playing the role of a doormat as opposed to actually "being kajira".

I invite you to re-examin such things in a new light then good Sir.

We have many threads here on the subject two in paticular come to mind:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15978

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17006

"One of the pleasant things about owning a slave," I said, "is the opportunity to converse with her, to listen to her, to hear her express herself, her feelings and ideas. One can learn much from a slave. Many slaves, like yourself, are highly intelligent. They can express themselves articulately, clearly, trenchantly, and lyrically. It is a great pleasure to talk with them." Beasts of Gor, pp 203.

[Master Trin]

You may be on to something there in the books themselves kajira are strong and often opinionated individuals who though the y submit completely and willingly revel in their submission and are quite knowelesgable. they are usually of greater importance to their masters than the paid servants who have "freedom" quite often they would be given missions that required high intelligebce and wit, i will take a look at the links, ty

[13'sbadkitty]

i don't think you are wrong to want that at all. my Master and i have that. W/we have a rich and full relationship that incorporates all of who W/we both are. W/we talk, laugh, go for hikes and all the things a relationship should be. i submit to Him deeply, not because i am broken but because of who He is to me. W/we are lucky to have eachother as W/we seemingly bring out the best in each other in both M/s and vanilla ways. Good luck i hope you find her soon

[alea]

the best is always saved for last...smiles...wishing You a successful search...

experience....is a brutal teacher..... CS Lewis

[MstrShimoda]

"I have given up hope of finding a woman IRL for the moment "...never ever give up..they are out there,trust Me...and dont settle for anything less than what you want.

My two cents worth.

[Master Trin]

Those two cents go a long way, thank you