Polyamorous Relationships

[cryrose]

Currently my dom and I are in love on many levels, both as vanilla and s&m relationships go. He has expressed an interest as adding another women into our play scenes as a live in slave to us. I have not had much experience with this type of thing when it pertains to the lifestyle. Can anyone share there experiences or provide more information on the topic for me?

[denuseri]

Sure, here are some links to where we have discussed this topic in the past.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15207&highlight=polyamorus

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16099&highlight=polyamorus

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19039&highlight=multiple+partners

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16158&highlight=multiple+partners

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12445&highlight=multiple+partners

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11982&highlight=multiple+partners

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8790&highlight=multiple+partners

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6784&highlight=multiple+partners

Additonally I myself have in real life ben part of two different poly household situations and I am sure there are some others here who have been as well.

In my experience for it to work at all, weather its with one dominant and multiple submissives, or multiple dominants and multiple submissives, or one submissive and multiple dominants, a clear hierarchy has allways been nessesary as well as honest communication and unilateral consent accross the board.

Feel free to ask if you have any more specific questions.

[_ID_]

Best article on Poly I've ever read.

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

[denuseri]

I just read it myself ID and I have to agree with you. Its the best thing Ive read on it too to date.

Thank your so much for that.

[cookiecat]

i flirted with a poly relationship for a few months. i didn't get super involved in it so i'm not sure how valuable my take on it will be!

i was dating someone i knew to be poly. i've always been involved in monogamous relationships up until this point.

he had a primary sub. at the time we started dating, he had no true secondary sub but did have some other women in "the circle". eventually, he asked me to be the secondary.

after a month or so of thinking about it, i had to say no.

in an ideal world, it sounded nifty. having "sister" subs... being totally open with each other. there were lots of perks. built in friends! always something to do. lots of open communication. ultimately, though, i didn't like sharing. i didn't like being his tuesday night girl and someone else being his wednesday girl. i didn't like watching him play with other girls.

it was a tough decision because i really cared for him. but he was sharing emotional stuff with too many people. things were really divided. i like to think i'm fairly drama free but jealousy did rear its ugly head a few times...

so i guess you need to be really clear on what you want, what she's bringing to your relationship.

take care.

[leah06]

Excellent advice. I know of people who are happily poly, but I also know of people who seem to have drama drama drama all the time. (Not that there's not drama in monogamous relationships as well, the poly just seems to add a whole 'nuther dimension to it.) One thing you might ask yourself is, have you had any urge to poly yourself before he brought this up? If not, then before you agree to it I'd suggest that you really think about why you're agreeing.

Also, you mention both having a third for play scenes and having a live in slave. These are very very different things. If you and he think that playing with another woman would be hot, by all means give it a shot. But you don't need a poly relationship to do that, you don't need another woman in your household. If you and he want a "second girl" in your lives and in your hearts, that's a really different matter.