Is there a place for me here

[spicennice]

....or am I looking at a different set of dynamics. My apologies, my questions might be pretty basic for you. I apologize if that is the case but am struggling with this one.

I have been introduced to bdsm recently and know that I have always found a leaning towards it. I have researched a ton on this lifestyle and learned a ton. I like what I see in most ways. The theory seems sound, but I see the execution to be a wild card as we are all human and all make mistakes that could be devastating to one or the other parties involved. Sorry, back to the question.

I am not into humiliation, sadism, masochism, but crave instead a safe, loving relationship where I can give my all to my SO - to please without the fear that 'giving' is being abused. I am stupid self regulating (extreme 'good girl' cubed) because, I think, I am so incredibly intimidated by even just a harsh look. Bearing that in mind, I am completely unable to processes any type of harshness or demanding behaviour.

Is it too soon for me to be here? May I ask your opinions please?

[denuseri]

The only person who can know if its too soon for something is you sweetie.

[spicennice]

I think the question here is not whether I am 'ready' myself. I am at the stage where I am starting to step out of myself a bit. Trying very hard to trust as I have locked myself up pretty tightly the past few years. Where I was once a social butterfly, I am now feeling awkward and different. I am just not certain whether this dynamic is soft and kind enough for my 'issues'. I am drawn to the depth of responsibility that I see from many of you and the code of honour that many of you seem to display. Your empathy. Is my softness; my not being able to deal with the power dynamics in person right now (as per my other posting), and indicator that I won't 'fit in' here as I post? I think my slant will be the trust dynamics first. The issues may be way out there for most as well so very few people may be able to relate. I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable. That is really my concern.

Thank you so much denuserv.

[denuseri]

Dear spice

Real trust can only be earned with real deeds imho.

In so far as that goes, the online enviroment is still a good place to do some "re-expousure" therapy among other things.

Wise dominion doesn't require one to be hard or cruel. One can do just as well being gentle and loving.

Not everyone at the site is here looking for the same things, your bound to come accross those whose intrests perhaps will mirrior your own.

I think so long as one is honest with their intentions and comunicates well there is plenty here for one to enjoy. Being a member here has really helped me in my own situation over the time Ive been here.

I hope you too will find that which you seek my sister.

I pray that your journey will be a long and fruitful one.

Hugs and kissess

denuseri

[spicennice]

of how appreciative I am for your taking time to post back. I may not always be clear in the first little bit. I am working on it though. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. ;rose;