Do not feel pain

[spicennice]

This may or may not be an odd question, I am not sure. Master and I have recently determined that I have a bit of an issue. I do not feel pain. I believe I know why and it is part of my 'trauma' piece. I believe I have been like this all of my life although I have just recently come to it (believe it or not). Is there anybody out there that knows of what I speak about when I say that? Any
Doms out there who have met subs that don't feel pain even?

Also, what needs to be addressed as a Dom if a sub does not feel pain? I would assume Master will need to be super careful. Any tips on this?

[Ozme52]

So... if you touch a hot stove... you don't know it, don't feel it, and don't pull away? You don't drop a hot utensil, plate, pot or pan if you accidently pick it up not knowing it was recently on or in the stove? You don't react to an accidentally cut finger? Bee or wasp stings? Accidental needle pokes?

Or do you mean you don't process pain in a way that you can be open to the emotional feelings the majority of people at the forums describe?

There's a world of difference and knowing which will affect the potential answers.

[13'sbadkitty]

So... if you touch a hot stove... you don't know it, don't feel it, and don't pull away? You don't drop a hot utensil, plate, pot or pan if you accidently pick it up not knowing it was recently on or in the stove? You don't react to an accidentally cut finger? Bee or wasp stings? Accidental needle pokes?

Or do you mean you don't process pain in a way that you can be open to the emotional feelings the majority of people at the forums describe?

There's a world of difference and knowing which will affect the potential answers.


i would have to say i agree, as i have had a dissociative disorder most of my life there were reasons and times i was able to block the sensations of pain and pleasure. sadly i was not in control of which or when or with whom.
is it like that or is there a medical issue?

[spicennice]

So... if you touch a hot stove... you don't know it, don't feel it, and don't pull away? You don't drop a hot utensil, plate, pot or pan if you accidently pick it up not knowing it was recently on or in the stove? You don't react to an accidentally cut finger? Bee or wasp stings? Accidental needle pokes?

Or do you mean you don't process pain in a way that you can be open to the emotional feelings the majority of people at the forums describe?

There's a world of difference and knowing which will affect the potential answers.

Please forgive the lapse in response here. I mean no disrespect by it. This is a totally new realization for me and your questions, Oz, are totally relevant and very much appreciated. I just didn't have the answers for them so have spent the past few days 'experimenting'. It seems that my pain threshold borders close to the 'burn my skin off line'.

I can pick up a kettle with a handle that is VERY hot, pour with steam all around and not feel a thing. This morning I let the kettle get super hot. I experimented by attempting to lift it up but thought better of it as I felt I might actually give myself serious burns by doing so with my hand unprotected. Looking back on life, I have been like this forever, I just didn't realize it was 'different' until a couple of days ago. I have always protected my hands - not because I need to, but instead because it is generally practiced therefore I didn't question. The last two days i have spent exploring these things. I have to admit, I am pretty scary in this way. Luckily I seem to draw the line on things that will cause me physical harm (ie 2nd degree burns).

I have felt pain (I believe) but seem to process it in such a way that I can totally block it out. No, i don't believe I would drop a hot plate BUT would remove my hand from a hot burner (just not quickly). It would be an annoyance, not a shocked reaction.

Luckily, 13'sbadkitty, I don't seem to have a problem with pleasure (although when in a 'spell' I am less sensitive. It seems to be a pain thing only. I am wondering - have you had to adjust your D/s life due to your 'lack of pain' issues? Do you feel at all that there is a risk involved at all in the pain element due to your lack of pain response? What considerations would need to be made?

My concern is, if there was a time along the way that I had a relationship with a different Dom, that there might be a natural element of 'oh yeah, well I will get you to feel pain'. Any thoughts on how to address this properly. Master and I even discussed dropping the D/s thing so I don't get too entrenched and put myself at risk....

Not sure what to do with this information.

[13'sbadkitty]

for me the reason why i had this issue was clear, it was ptsd from abuse. definitely. for that it was a process of actually learning how to be present for touch after therapy for emotional issues or at least during. i would have to say that my sensitivity for pain has lowered which is actually a good thing because it means i am present for it. when i had my gallbladder out a few months ago, the surgeon said it was all scarred up from chronic inflammation that i never thought was enough pain to notice. the kidney stone was no big deal for me either, and the dry sockets made me dizzy. these are all the most painful things i know of.
i had to learn to tolerate pleasure was a better way to express that. if your issue is diagnosed first to not be medical, then maybe what works for me will work for you but i would see a doctor first!

[Ozme52]

I suggest you need a dominant who is more interested in exerting his dominion over you with words, body control (such as hands in your hair, seeing you exert yourself for him, perhaps positions,) who enjoys fetish photography and tableaus, one who takes pleasure from your sexual obeisance and your general obedience.

A dom who prefers a pain response will not enjoy you as he would someone with a low pain threshold. Certainly you shouldn't be with a sadist, you will just be a frustration to him, perhaps even a challenge which can come to no good end.

You need to find a good match... not a careful dominant (in this case.) If you already have a dominant you adore, you need to discuss this with him in light of these revelations... and he has to decide if he can live without play that can cause body damage.

I see no good coming from an attempt to "sensitize" you to pain.

[13'sbadkitty]

I suggest you need a dominant who is more interested in exerting his dominion over you with words, body control (such as hands in your hair, seeing you exert yourself for him, perhaps positions,) who enjoys fetish photography and tableaus, one who takes pleasure from your sexual obeisance and your general obedience.

A dom who prefers a pain response will not enjoy you as he would someone with a low pain threshold. Certainly you shouldn't be with a sadist, you will just be a frustration to him, perhaps even a challenge which can come to no good end.

You need to find a good match... not a careful dominant (in this case.) If you already have a dominant you adore, you need to discuss this with him in light of these revelations... and he has to decide if he can live without play that can cause body damage.

I see no good coming from an attempt to "sensitize" you to pain.

i merely meant that to illustrate my process. for me it was a healing experience as i was disconnected from my body. i hope that it didn't sound as if i was saying more than this is my experience.

[spicennice]

13'sbadkitty, I absolutely understood it in that way. Thank you so much for your input it is very valuable. I have also just realized the implications of what you stated as far as my health and the lack of pain response. I don't think I would know if there was something wrong with me if it slapped me in the face. This is a pretty scary thing to realize. It helps me to understand a ton about my reactions to things in the past.

Oz, thank you so much for your suggestions. They are, as always totally sensible and I will absolutely incorporate them in the future if I need to. Thank you so much for helping.

[Ozme52]

i merely meant that to illustrate my process. for me it was a healing experience as i was disconnected from my body. i hope that it didn't sound as if i was saying more than this is my experience.

No issue with me... and I was addressing the OP, not commenting on the comments. ;)

[flying66]

hm... it sounds like you have a mild form of cipa ...

You sweat right? like feel heat and cold etc. possibly you didn't develop as much sensory nerves as you 'should' have so that would make your 'problem' to be physical whereas 13'sbadkitty's is more mental and psychological.

I absolutely agree with Oz to go find a Dom who likes to use words or body control etc.

Although I also know that Dom's who are 'sadists' and enjoy causing pain, actually tend to play on different levels too. Like for example, on a numbered scale with 1 being lightest and 10 is bruising on the spot, my Dom likes to play at a 7-8 but 'can' and 'has' play at a 9-10 when a play partner wanted... but he would never want to play that hard with me. I know one Dom who likes to play so hard his subs look like they've been through a meat-grinder... I put him at 12

If being flogged etc. is what you want, you need someone who understands that your pain threshold is possibly a medical 'problem' and is willing to learn how hard to hit you without long term damage and explicit verbal cues.