Blurring boundaries

[foreverchained]

Please forgive me if this has been posted elsewhere, I did look but I've never been the most observant of people.

Up to now pretty much everything in this part of our life has been in the bedroom, (mainly because we have 2 curious children), but recently we have both decided we want more of a 24/7 dynamic.

but......I don't know where to start. We don't want the kids getting confused, so we are trying to keep it out of their way. Does anyone have any advice on anything we can do to help us both adjust (without frightening the kids!!).

I apologise if that made no sense, i've not been sleeping well.

Thanks

[_ID_]

Define the roles. If you're wanting to assign titles to the roles, and use them, do so. You don't have to use Master or Mistress, you can use whatever term of endearment you assign to the role.

The things you do in the bedroom are sexually oriented. The ones that are not would be more service oriented, or at least concealed to the point that it wasn't obvious what was going on. Wearing a plug for instance can be done without letting others know what you're doing.

Most of all, keep it fun.

[13'sbadkitty]

i have been learning the same thing, sometimes it is difficult. W/we have used alot of little things to demonstrate O/our relationships to eachother. Things like capitalization are important to Him because it is a quiet way to demonstrate my submissiveness. i use a title the kids don't really notice, Okimawiw as i posted in other threads. the rougher stuff is kept for U/us alone and i have been learning not to be bratty while they are around which was a flaw in my character. W/we have come up with codes to know if i am displeasing Him as it is easy to show approval. the kids don't question any of the service oriented things at all. they just see it as this is what mom does, and the boys all enjoy Him being the head of the household. my daughter is in college now, she just thinks i am stuck in another era. :) enjoy!

[Ozme52]

My girl and I spend more and more time with each other every year. Last year it was weeks at a time. This year again I hope...

So I can't say this works 24/7x365... but I know it works for weeks on end... and I think it applies.

24/7 doesn't mean sex-sex-sex (though the dom may demand and get sex far more often and in far more places and circumstances than just the bedroom. The potential for anywhere-anytime sex makes the 24/7 dynamic very hot.)

24/7 does mean clear roles. Who advises, who decides. Where the sub is self sufficient and where s/he must be the supplicant. When as well. (You might get to dress yourself... 95% of the time... but have no choice in the matter when the urge takes him/her... or it may be the other way around... all depending on how you define roles.)

24/7 does mean the dynamic between dom and sub is and should be ever present. It means you should be content and happy in your role (if not, it needs adjusting) and so should the dominant. (It's hard to be uber-magnificent all the time... and when the dominant isn't "up" 24/7 means you support that quietly, obediently, submissively, doing whatever the dominant needs or wants from you...)

Many many vanilla families, though not kinky, are 24/7 D/s. This is an important thing to remember... it falls neatly into the old U.S. concept of nuclear families, with clear husband-wife/father-mother roles, often what kinksters call a 50's household. (I'm not advocating that there is a "better" role herein nor which gender should be D or s.) Just that you probably have great personal examples of all of the non-sexual aspects of 24/7 D/s from watching your own parents interaction (unless they were 100% 50-50 partners) and probably, there's not a lot of difference in your own lives, in the eyes of your own kids, (with the same caveats.)

The biggest difference is that, if you currently swap the roles, depending on the context, you will do so less often, if at all.

One more thought... being a 24/7 submissive does not give you the right to abdicate all your responsibilities. You still have to "lord it" over your kids (though dad get the ultimate "veto powers" and that still means, imo, after getting your advise/input.) You still have to deal with running the household if that's his preference, maintaining your job or career, all the things that we do in our lives on a day to day basis.

It's ultimately about how you perceive the way you two interact.

And that makes 24/7 simple.

[foreverchained]

Thanks alot for all of your help. Things are definately becoming a little clearer after reading your replies.