owned puppy
03-29-2010, 11:07 AM
I need some advice. I have been in my current relationship for a little over a year now, however, we have only been in a D/s relationship for a few months. Before this I was in a D/s relationship for almost 4 years and now that I am getting back into the scene I have found out I am having a hard time letting go. I feel guilty for still missing him. I find myself lost and confused about if this is something that I want, but yet it is who I am. I have no idea where to go from here.
It feels wrong to be obeying someone else even though I am no longer with my old Master. Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? Where do I go from here? Do you ever truly get over and move on from the first you truly opened up to and held nothing back?
delicious_torment
03-30-2010, 08:17 PM
Its not your fault that you have feeling your only human. It is never easy to let go of someone that you were commited and let yourself open up to especially if he was your fist love, master or not. You should not feel guilty for loving, If it is getting in the way of your relationship now you might want to discuss this problem with you master and try to make him understand where you are coming from....i dont know but all you can do is really try to move on and reasure yourself that whatever you had with your previous owner is now over and nothing you do is ever going to change that and the best thing for you is to move on and look to the future....as a good friend once told me it is to bright outside to stay locked in the darkness of your room you need to get out and explore or you will never know the wonders that are in store for you!!!!
denuseri
03-30-2010, 09:24 PM
There is nothing wrong with you. Some things just need to take their course. You may need more time is all.
flying66
04-03-2010, 04:17 PM
sweetie, I've been in a similar position before... I actually continued to be a play partner with my ex-Dom/boyfriend after the relationship ended. I kept telling myself it was because we knew each other physically so therefore knew better how to 'get each other off' and which buttons to press etc. etc.
In the end it's awkward because this lifestyle is entwined into our 'nilla' relationships and it goes on dissociative to them too (hence the above, still playing with my ex)
as delicious_torment said, we are all human and we have human emotions.
Take the 'D/s' aspect out of this for a minute and think about this just from a relationship pov. You'll realize that you never truly get over the last person you were with until you fall for someone else and, in a way, no one ever gets over their 'first'.
In my personal opinion, and experience, I'm not saying this is actually the case, but if you still have these sorts of 'it's wrong' feelings because you still feel like you are 'cheating', in a sense, on the person you are no longer with, then you aren't truly over them yet.
You need more time perhaps, or maybe this person isn't for you right now.
Bringing D/s back into it, if you are getting back into the scene now, I'd say you shouldn't back off at all. Go to munches, play parties etc. and watch and socialize... you don't HAVE to play.
It took me 2 years to completely get over my last Dom... and it didn't happen until I found my current one. Don't go out there looking for someone new, that never works, just go out and look for friends and a good time, then someone will land in your lap and these (perfectly normal) feelings you have for your old Dom will disappear.