owning a male sub...

[Eraser]

I would like some input on a topic at had thats been troubling me as of late. I am not a Bisexual/Homosexual person. I've been married to the same women for 9 years. Yet we did up tell rescently (9 months ago) own a male sub. We are also currently looking for one (no this is not a personals post). But I have been a challanged of late by more then one person of both genders how I can own a male sub and not be BI or gay.

I have not ever interacted sexually with a male sub nor do I ever have any plan to, but why does this mean I shouldn't/can't own one?

[duktig flicka]

We're looking for a female and we haven't specified if she should be sub or dom, straight, gay or bi. We were hoping that a straight dominant female, for instance, may still enjoy playing with me as she doesn't have to interact with me sexually just to enjoy torturing me a little. We weren't sure if any would be willing, but we were hoping so.

[slavelucy]

This kinda links in with other threads regarding whether Ds always has to be linked with sexual activity, and if the answer is no, then logic alone dictates that there can be nothing wrong with having a male sub, even if you are not and don't intend to be gay or bi (assuming the sub feels the same way).

i have to say, i have never been involved or wanted to be involved in Ds that didn't have some sexual slant, but that doesn't remove the principle..that being that to say a sub who you intend to practice DS with in a non sexual sense, has to be a particular gender, is like saying that an employee has to be a particular gender, which is clearly nonsensical. Submission, by very definition, transcends gender.

As an aside..Eraser/Merrioc...aww, you're confusing me with your name changes!

sl

[Eraser]

well I can affirm there isn't/hasn't been any physical contact, not even the slightest.

[Caine]

I don't see anything odd about it. You are looking to own a submissive to serve your needs. If those needs aren't sexual, so be it. I don't know many men who don't like to be leader of the pack, this seems like it is just a more formal and obvious way of showing same gender dominance.

[Eraser]

okay since I got a couple questions I will explain slightly further for those that don't know.

I Own a switch. regardless of her role in a scene she feels she is always my slave first and foremost. There for part of my ownership of any male is for her use in the "scene" sense but outside of the scene itself she doesn't do anything, even in the scene I generally direct or suggest the activities and I also handle most of the training.

[jaeangel]

I don't see anything wrong with it. Just because hubby and I are looking for another couple to swing with doesn't mean he'd gay or bi. And I used to be friends with a gay threesome; it didn't mean I was necessarily gay, or lesbian, or bi.
People who stick their noses too far into your business need to be told to get out.

[ValKyrie]

or, perhaps your sexual slant has to do with your wife with this sub.

Some men like topping other people. They enjoy the buzz of Dominance in terms of the physical stamina and mental energy expended while whipping, flogging etc.

This pleasure can be completely separate from sex.

In fact, in my own life, there are many times that we scene in which I don't achieve or require sexual gratification.

But, maybe that is just me?

:)

[rallan]

But I have been a challanged of late by more then one person of both genders how I can own a male sub and not be BI or gay.

The big (and obvious) question here is, does it really matter? You want a male sub for you and your wife, everyone who's directly involved will know why you want this and what you are and aren't prepared to do in the relationship, so why bother sitting down trying to figure out how to explain to people that no you don't feel this makes you particularly bisexual.




rallan

[Eraser]

I don't know, we had our first session with our new boi last night. I enjoyed it alot. and I did nothing but sit on the couch and direct, suggest or explain specifics to either him or my wife. She's still learning lot about being a top and I enjoy teaching her. I really wanna find a Domme in socal that I can watch and learn from myself, there are so many paticulars of the male body that are different then women.



I enjoyed it, my point of the original post I guess can be left to my incomprehension of close minded people.