BDSM and demographics

[FrgnSwtc]

I've been having a recurrent discussion with a good friend from this site.
He says that single, 30 year old subs are hard to find. Admittedly, I have noticed an age gap but I still believe that he's wrong and they're not as scarce as he thinks.

In an effort of proving him wrong, I'd like to know if this age gap really exists and your thoughts on the subject.

This is NOT an ageism thread, so I ask you, please don't get offended by it.

[Izzydoodle]

Hm, i'm not sure. I'm a young sub. Maybe when you're in your late teens/early twenties you feel a bit more sexually liberated? By your mid twenties you might be at the stage where you've found the right dom and settle down? Far be it for me to cast aspersions, but possibly you might be slightly less likely to enter the bdsm scene in your thirties.

This is a vanilla problem too, lots of men find that by the time they want to settle down/ start a serious relationship "all the good ones have gone".

It's a good question, i imagine that bdsm demographics would be interesting to look at. Just my thoughts anyway.

[brwneydgirl]

I think there are quite a few subs here in their 30s...it's the "single" part that's probably tripping him up.

[FrgnSwtc]

I think there are quite a few subs here in their 30s...it's the "single" part that's probably tripping him up.

That's what he says and one of the reasons I'm asking about this. Since I'm in my 30's and taken, I know there are more than a few.

[flying66]

well, I can't remember who said it, but I do recall someone saying that being of the 'older' generation, they felt that there were way too many young people.

I guess it kinda does feel like there's an age gap because of all the 'under <30' groups out there... but thinking about it now, it feels like there are plenty of people in their 30's and 40's that I know in my local community and otherwise.

I don't think there's really much of a 'bdsm demographic' that's altogether different than with 'nillas... looking at wikipedia, the average age of first marriage for women in the USA is 26 and 31 in Canada... wow that's a 5 year gap O.o

anyways, given the statistics, the conclusion is still that single women in their 30's are generally not single and that's across the board regardless of sexual fetishes.

[leah06]

I doubt that this is true. In fact, usually I hear the opposite, that there are more female subs than there are male Doms. I don't know if this is true either, to be honest. But anyway, he doesn't need a bunch of single 30-somethings, he only needs one. ;-)

[thepast]

On this site, it's that the <25's are 20000x more "vocal" than the others in certain areas of the site... and then there are other demographics that are more vocal in other areas. However, I would say the "majority" demographic, the one that STAYS for a long period, on the site is 25-50. Given that, how many of them are "single"?? Depends on your definition of "single" now, doesn't it? LOL... and what exactly you are looking for...

There are definitely plenty of 30-39yo single, female, submissive women hanging around. But that's an overly-broad definition in some respects, and incredibly over-narrow in other respects... Age is but a number. It's the maturity that really matters. There are many people here that are 35 that act like they are 15, and there are a couple of 22yo that act like mature adults. Depends on the person...

[teamster]

I think a lot of people in their thirties are coupled off and often involved with raising children, etc and don't have time or freedom to explore in this way.

[flying66]

I doubt that this is true. In fact, usually I hear the opposite, that there are more female subs than there are male Doms. I don't know if this is true either, to be honest. But anyway, he doesn't need a bunch of single 30-somethings, he only needs one. ;-)

I hear that too... way more female subs than male Doms and even though we all think 'he only needs one' the point is that it sounds like he's looking for a relationship that also includes bdsm.

While there are many people who have Dom/mes as well as a separate vanilla partner, someone who wants a sub as more than a play partner wants to find a companion they can talk to and share life experiences with outside the bedroom or the dungeon.

I do agree with Delia that the younger crowd tends to be more vocal in certain areas of the site, as it normally is with technology, and yes emotional maturity matters too as I'm sure the friend of the op has taken into account... some people just don't feel comfortable dating someone a certain numbers of years younger/older than them no matter the emotional maturity of each.

As so many people seem to say, someone will fall in your lap when you aren't looking ;)

[Ozme52]

I do agree with Delia that the younger crowd tends to be more vocal in certain areas of the site,

Yes. I am. ;)


As so many people seem to say, someone will fall in your lap when you aren't looking ;)

And also sometimes when you are! :d

[FrgnSwtc]

Thank you all for taking the time and answering the thread.

FS

[halkailas]

it is rather sad that the UK goverment at one point seemed keen to outlay bdsm alltogether and targeted a certain demographic, ie the rich young sexual deviant 20-30 year olds

[Whisperz]

i happen to be a 30 yr old submissive....but i'm not single, lol! therin may lie the problem...either they are not piping up, or they just aren't single...

Whisperz

[FrgnSwtc]

i happen to be a 30 yr old submissive....but i'm not single, lol! therin may lie the problem...either they are not piping up, or they just aren't single...

Whisperz

Yeah... It seems like it... I am one too, in my 30's, not single, sub. Maybe my friend is actually right after all.

Thanks for replying.

[sub_nia]

There maybe some subs here that say they are not single when, in fact, they are. When you put on your profile that you are single you get a LOT of messages, and if you are just looking for friends to start it maybe more than you want to deal with.