What is the difference between

[tinyasian]

a master and a dom? Or are they the same thing?

[Priapus]

Maybe a master has a slave and a Dom has a sub. Then you'll have to ask what's the difference between a slave and a sub (and you'll get thousands of opinions on that topic!).

Usually, people say a sub has much more choice in what is done to her, a slave having none. But to my mind, there's no distinction, since slavery is illegal. The slave is always free to leave the consensual relationship.

[fetishdj]

I am not sure there really is a difference. Very few seem to consider the subtle difference between them. Then again, some see them as very different... the trouble is that, though we present ourselves as a unified 'lifestyle', we are all from different backgrounds and beliefs and this means that we all have different ideas about the basic definitions.

I would say that we could also consider Master to be a title whereas Dom is a description of a role. So, for example, Master Stephen is a Dom. You would not call him Dom Stephen, though you can also use 'Master' as a description as well.

Also, while the feminine form (Domme) is often used, I have also seen the term Dom being used to describe both male and female dominants because it is more gender non specific than 'Master' and 'Mistress'

[flying66]

To me, the word 'Dom' is used to describe someone's preferred role in the lifestyle though I think Master or Mistress is a title that is earned. Then you've also got Tops as opposed to Dominants... as a submissive, I have tried to Top but I most certainly haven't been able to Dominate someone.

Let me describe it this way... when I play with someone, I'll call them whatever feels appropriate (hence the 'titles are earned' ) Usually when I play with someone new, I call them 'Sir' because that's my default, when I feel like I trust them enough or feel submissive enough to that person, maybe the title will change from 'Sir' to 'Master' ... it might be in one session or it might take several. It all depends on how I feel; if it feels right, then the word "Master' really slips out for me.

[Freak_M]

This is just a question about how each define their own roles. BDSM is a very personal thing and it's imposible to use a term for either the submissive or the dominant generally. It just won't make no sense when you present it to others...

[Freak_M]

And I know...my english, well... :D

[Jennifer Williams]

Want to get really confusing? Sometimes my little one (who is male) will call me Master (I am female). Those are really good days. :D

[WolfLeader]

As many have said a Dom is one that dominates another.

A Master has earned the title by building trust of someone to the point that you would give up control to them knowing that they would see to it that no true harm would come to you.

[denuseri]

Regardless of which titular distinction or vernacular of associated bdsm terminology you are experienced with:

One person wields the whip and the other one kneels, even if only in a temporary fashion. lol

[Dejah Thoris]

As many have said a Dom is one that dominates another.

A Master has earned the title by building trust of someone to the point that you would give up control to them knowing that they would see to it that no true harm would come to you.

I really like this description :)

[nawteeone]

I think for me, IRL, M is definitely more of a Dom, simply because he loves to dominate, and it's ingrained in his personality in ALL things, so it's something he really can't avoid.

I don't ever refer to him as Master, and I think for us it's the power balance.....we work together, and he fully EXPECTS me to have opinions, input, and even stand up to him when I think he is wrong (I'm speaking mostly in business scenarios here, but even in our sexual/personal relationship, he would not respect me if I didn't voice my opinions, no matter what they might be). He doesn't want to master me....he likes dominating me, which implies that he has to work for it a little more. lol. That's likely just us though.

[brwneydgirl]

I would say that we could also consider Master to be a title whereas Dom is a description of a role. So, for example, Master Stephen is a Dom. You would not call him Dom Stephen, though you can also use 'Master' as a description as well.




Would you call a dominant you've just met, "Master" if that was their preferred title? (not in your case specifically, fetish...forgive the gender specifics, please.)

I mean...if trust, time, energy goes into a M/s relationship and you've met this dominant once or twice and played very lightly, would you?

And if you did...would you be doing it in order to not bruise their ego or because you can absolutely use that term as just what fetish implied...a simple title?

[Ozme52]

As many have said a Dom is one that dominates another.

A Master has earned the title by building trust of someone to the point that you would give up control to them knowing that they would see to it that no true harm would come to you.


I really like this description :)

And I hate it.

I prefer the perspective that everyone gets to define themselves.

The moment I read this it got my dander up. How dare someone imply my submissive doesn't trust me fully!!!

[pixie_piper]

i call my Dom Master but that's just because that's what He likes me to call Him and that's what i prefer to say anyways. i like the way it sounds and the way it feels to say it. W(w)e've only been together for about 3 months i think but i have no sense of time lol. i dunno i've heard a Dom isn't a Master until alot of time and training and whatnot goes into it, but i don't think anyone has the right to dictate what is and isn't a Master. That's just my opinion.

[pixie_piper]

Unless of course you mean a pokemon master! There are very strict standards for that title tehe