MistressMallory
04-28-2010, 11:39 PM
Hola, everyone!
My name is Mallory (or Mal if you please) and I'm new to this site, though not to BDSM. However, my partner of two years (hereafter referred to as "Pet") has repeatedly expressed her interest in a D/s relationship. I have always been mildly dominant, and my relationship prior to my relationship with her was a vanilla (and with a guy, to boot). He didn't like my attempts to domme him, and that part of me pretty much sank to the bottom of the proverbial pool. But she has been asking for it for almost two years, and finally I decided to give it to her.
We had practiced some over the last year or so, but had never fully gotten going -- I would always wuss out, especially when it came to inflicting pain on her -- but for some reason when we tried again (this time) things just seemed to click. Sounds great, right? Well, it is and it isn't. There are definitely some serious issues to be ironed out.
The problem is twofold.
One, she is a severely disobedient Sub. She likes to test my limits and flagrantly embarrass me in front of a friend of mine, who is a Switch/leaning to Domme. For all intents and purposes I can't trust her to follow my instructions, and while we've had a number of conversations about this, it all seems to come down to the fact that she wants to be a 24/7 slave. I'm not against that at all, but I'm at a loss for disciplinary procedures to use. We have a "punishment bag" from which she has to draw a card if she misbehaves, but they're fairly tame punishments and I want her to endure more, since I know she can.
Secondly, there's the issue of her disability. My Pet uses an electronic wheelchair and has a significant joint condition called arthrogryposis, which basically means all her joints are contracted, restricting her ability to walk (both her hips are dislocated), write, open her jaw past a certain point, and even raise her arms above her head. This can make bondage very difficult (though we found some awesome velcro sheets that have been working beautifully) and other punishments too painful for her (like the cold shower -- it causes her joints to contract further). I can explain more about the nature of her disability to anyone who has ideas or thinks they might be able to come up with "accommodations" for us to try during her training. On the upside, she is sitting constantly so humiliation tactics such as having her wear an insertable vibrator or butt plug to work (she's a middle school teacher) work brilliantly.
She is very tolerant to pain (it takes a pretty severe caning to get her crying, and she almost never uses her safeword) and very strong willed. I don't want to break her -- only to tame her for my purposes alone. I prefer she keep her strong willed personality with everyone else, unless I instruct her otherwise. However, I expect my commands to be respected and obeyed instantaneously. We have a few rituals -- she is required to request to sleep in bed with me every night and thank me when she leaves the bed in the morning, and she is required to thank me for loving her enough to punish her after a caning or discipline session -- but I'd love to hear ideas for more.
And now I'm running at the mouth, and will shut up.
Thanks for any help in advance!!
-MissMal
My name is Mallory (or Mal if you please) and I'm new to this site, though not to BDSM. However, my partner of two years (hereafter referred to as "Pet") has repeatedly expressed her interest in a D/s relationship. I have always been mildly dominant, and my relationship prior to my relationship with her was a vanilla (and with a guy, to boot). He didn't like my attempts to domme him, and that part of me pretty much sank to the bottom of the proverbial pool. But she has been asking for it for almost two years, and finally I decided to give it to her.
We had practiced some over the last year or so, but had never fully gotten going -- I would always wuss out, especially when it came to inflicting pain on her -- but for some reason when we tried again (this time) things just seemed to click. Sounds great, right? Well, it is and it isn't. There are definitely some serious issues to be ironed out.
The problem is twofold.
One, she is a severely disobedient Sub. She likes to test my limits and flagrantly embarrass me in front of a friend of mine, who is a Switch/leaning to Domme. For all intents and purposes I can't trust her to follow my instructions, and while we've had a number of conversations about this, it all seems to come down to the fact that she wants to be a 24/7 slave. I'm not against that at all, but I'm at a loss for disciplinary procedures to use. We have a "punishment bag" from which she has to draw a card if she misbehaves, but they're fairly tame punishments and I want her to endure more, since I know she can.
Secondly, there's the issue of her disability. My Pet uses an electronic wheelchair and has a significant joint condition called arthrogryposis, which basically means all her joints are contracted, restricting her ability to walk (both her hips are dislocated), write, open her jaw past a certain point, and even raise her arms above her head. This can make bondage very difficult (though we found some awesome velcro sheets that have been working beautifully) and other punishments too painful for her (like the cold shower -- it causes her joints to contract further). I can explain more about the nature of her disability to anyone who has ideas or thinks they might be able to come up with "accommodations" for us to try during her training. On the upside, she is sitting constantly so humiliation tactics such as having her wear an insertable vibrator or butt plug to work (she's a middle school teacher) work brilliantly.
She is very tolerant to pain (it takes a pretty severe caning to get her crying, and she almost never uses her safeword) and very strong willed. I don't want to break her -- only to tame her for my purposes alone. I prefer she keep her strong willed personality with everyone else, unless I instruct her otherwise. However, I expect my commands to be respected and obeyed instantaneously. We have a few rituals -- she is required to request to sleep in bed with me every night and thank me when she leaves the bed in the morning, and she is required to thank me for loving her enough to punish her after a caning or discipline session -- but I'd love to hear ideas for more.
And now I'm running at the mouth, and will shut up.
Thanks for any help in advance!!
-MissMal