i need some advice... from both subs and doms

[vidar]

hey! im a 28 years old guy from norway and i've always thought about myself as a sub when it comes to sex, as this is what turns me on the most, but im having a hard time finding women that want to be dominant...

i've never had any trouble picking up women, i am very confident around women and about myself, but then they all seem to want me to take charge of things, and i kinda want it the other way around...

i've tried to be submissive towards women, but every time i do this they lose interest in me...

im not looking for a D/s relationship, but a woman that likes to play games and take charge of things in bed...

so, my question to you is; how do i spot the dominant woman, and how do i get her attention???

if you can help me with this i'll be forever gatefull!!! :)

- vidar

[tina2008]

Do you belong to dating sites or sites that specifically cater to those interested in D/s or kink? You can check for kink related events (munches, demos, play parties, etc.) though I think a munch or demo would probably allow you to meet others and interact.

The women you attempt to be submissive toward; how do you know they're dominant? I come across as very dominant, especially at work as that's my job. Outside of work, I'm pretty darn submissive with the right person.

If you're looking for kinky play once in a while, you might want to give a Pro Domme a shot. You would most certainly be shot down if you approach a lifestyle Domme and say "hey, grab your flogger and beat me" as that's not really how it works.

Good luck!!!

[sidhewolf]

Try getting out to Munches, and other BDSM Events, in your area. Whatever is arranged does not Have To Be a RelationShip :) Happy Hunting!

[DarkPachuco]

An observation I've made is usually that people's personalities can take a 180 in bed. Normally quiet and passive people in public can be so forceful in bed.

[vidar]

munches was a concept i was not familiar with, but a little google search and i found out there is a munches not very far from where i live in 3 weeks time :)

im gonna go there, and if nothing else i'll get to know ppl that share the same intrestes as me :)

im looking forwars to this thing, it will be a huge weight lifteted from my shoulders if i get to meet ppl i can talk to about my submissive feelings, and that understand me...

thanky you very much tina 2008 and sidhewolf!! for pointing me in the right direction :)

[fetishdj]

Many women find it a turn off to have a man be submissive at them. A lot also depends on what you consider 'submissive'. Do you mean submissive in terms of being a complete doormat who does everything asked of them without question? Some Dommes want the challenge of subduing a man in the same way that some Doms prefer bratty subs.