Digital Dad :Stop Slutting Up Our Girls

[thir]

I read this and did not know what to think - but on the whole I am agreeing with this father.
Comments?

by C.C. Chapman of Digital Dads
Last week I attended my first dance competition with my daughter. It was a lot of fun to see girls of all ages strut their stuff on the stage and do an amazing job at it. The talent in these young ladies was amazing to see.

What I wasn’t ready for was seeing young girls in fishnets, tight boy shorts and thigh high leather boots. The teased hair, fake eye lashes and gyrating bodies on stage. I talked about this on Digital Dads and was glad to hear that the other dads were equally upset by it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am the farthest thing from an uptight prude. But, as I sat there in the audience and watched the 6 & 7 year old teams shake things they didn’t have and perform moves that were more appropriate for a stripper pole then a school stage I had to stop and wonder. Why are we letting our kids do this? Worse yet, why were there parents in the audience hooting and hollering every time they did an extra sexy move? How is it that suddenly slutting up our girls is ok with parents?

If you need a visual to make this real for you, take a look at this video below. It hit the web yesterday and after Jessica Gottlieb wrote about it, I knew I had to share my thoughts. Keep in mind that the girls in this video are seven and eight years old.



I can appreciate the girls dancing skills (they are super talented in that video) and I’ve heard the arguments of “they are just costumes”, but all of it still pisses me off. If you can’t handle watching the whole thing, the last 20 seconds or so will be enough to make you scream.

I have a daughter. I see the way she is marketed to. I’ve taken her shopping and seen the outfits that hang on display. Most of it is fine, but so much of it is far from that. Sure, sex sells, but do we need to be selling it to girls so young that they haven’t even developed yet? There is no reason for that.

This is not going to be one of those scream at society pieces, because I firmly believe that it is the job of the parent to not let this happen to their own kids. It is up to you to say, “no you can’t wear that” and explain why something is inappropriate. We can scream all we want, but when I heard those other parents cheering on the girls on stage (just listen to the video) it made me shake my head in shame. I wanted to stand up and turn around and ask point blank, “what the hell are you doing?”

One thing, that this personal experience has taught me is that I’ve got to be more involved if Emily is going to continue doing dance. I had never seen the routines she was working on, until they were on stage. I had seen the costumes ahead of time and they were fine. But, if she had come home with some of the outfits that I saw other girls in what would I have done? I’ve been thinking a lot about that and I know for sure I wouldn’t have allowed her to do it. That would not have been easy as I know dance is turning into a bit of a passion for her, but I would have needed to do it.

My daughter is growing up with a deep rooted self confidence. I want her to know that whatever she ends up looking like that she is her own person. That she is beautiful, smart, awesome and unique. There is nothing wrong with being sexy and flirtatious. That is part of the fun of being a human and while I’m scared to death of when she figures that out, I know it is part of growing up.

Parents, you are the last line of defense here. The old saying that sex sells is a fact and we all know it. That is never going to change, but does sex have to sell in your house? No, it doesn’t. This is a problem that parents are allowing to happen. Complain all you want about what is happening in our world, but the more active you are as a parent and not allow things like this to happen the better we all will be.

This post by CC Chapman first appeared on Digital Dads.





http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/stop-slutting-up-our-girls/

[TantricSoul]

Here is a link to the video mentioned in the article: (saving you a few clicks)

http://www.jessicagottlieb.com/2010/05/the-parents-of-the-sexy-dancing-kids-go-on-good-morning-america/

As a father of two girls (19 & 12) I can fully relate to, and I fully agree with, the authors opinion in this article. I too have sat bewildered wondering WTF toy designers, clothes manufacturers, media producers, pageant officials, dance instructors and many others in our society are thinking when actively "producing" the sexualization of young girls.

And I too have followed the logic back to the parents and their allowing this to take place. This paragraph from the article sums it up nicely:

"Parents, you are the last line of defense here. The old saying that sex sells is a fact and we all know it. That is never going to change, but does sex have to sell in your house? No, it doesn’t. This is a problem that parents are allowing to happen. Complain all you want about what is happening in our world, but the more active you are as a parent and not allow things like this to happen the better we all will be."

The only part I would really vary were I to write this myself would be the first line... we parents are not the last line of defense, we are the only line of defense. The responsibility to ensure our children grow up with the self respect, dignity, self assuredness, education and open mindedness necessary to make healthy decisions in this life is ours alone. Sex does sell, that's a proven fact, can we blame companies for giving us what sells? Tempting to, but really we just need to stop buying.

Respectfully,
Tantric

[Thorne]

we parents are not the last line of defense, we are the only line of defense. The responsibility to ensure our children grow up with the self respect, dignity, self assuredness, education and open mindedness necessary to make healthy decisions in this life is ours alone.
This is so true and so seemingly self-evident that it astounds me how many parents don't seem to grasp the concept. Of course, that would mean accepting personal responsibility, an idea which seems to be out of favor in our "sue everybody for everything" society.

[Jennifer Williams]

I was an elementary school teacher for a few years, and you could draw a perfect line down the middle of every class, one side being "kids with parents involved in their life" and the other side being the ones without involved parents.

The kids with parents who were involved, even in the smallest of ways (such as making sure their homework was done), had potential many, many times that of the other kids.

We had an autistic child whom the psychologists and doctors had decided would never learn to read and write. His parents put every ounce of effort and love they had into their son anyway, and by the time he was ten, he could read books at a first grade level. It was beautiful to watch him try, with all his might, no matter how hard it was for him, and to hear him say "because I want my Mommy to be proud of me." That was the only motivation that was meaningful to him; other things like extra recess or candy or toys or whatever meager tools a teacher might have had no effect for him.

Then you had the students who were brilliant and their parents couldn't be bothered. Most of them failed. Not all; some kids will make it no matter what life throws at them. But their chances were so severely hindered. And this was in a classroom where the teachers cared a great deal about the students.

But when you ask a little boy who is failing math why he didn't do his addition homework, and his answer is "My dad said I don't have to do it because I'm too stupid anyway." (yes, a student actually said that to me), what can you do?

The world is what it is: full of bad and good, beautiful and ugly. Parents shape the way the child sees that world. A parent is everything to a child. And when parents don't step up to the plate, when they don't provide that attention and support that a child needs, that is when the child will look to the world for guidance, then. And who knows what they'll see.

[thir]

for him.
Parents shape the way the child sees that world. A parent is everything to a child. And when parents don't step up to the plate, when they don't provide that attention and support that a child needs, that is when the child will look to the world for guidance, then. And who knows what they'll see.

While parents are obviously very important to a child, no parent is =everything to a child. Very very soon, outside influences start to make an impression. From TV to other children, and it can be hard indeed to compete.

Not that you should not try!

I agree that sexualizing young girls is wrong, things should go at their own pace and being a good dancer is not the same as being a sexual being, or deliver sex to your audience. It is wrong, as I see it, to combine things that way at that age.

[thir]

Sex does sell, that's a proven fact, can we blame companies for giving us what sells? Tempting to, but really we just need to stop buying.


Well..I don't think that if it sells, you are allowed to do anything, right or wrong. Selling by sex is manipulation as I see it, rather than selling on the quality of your product.

I agree that girls should not learn to 'sell' their dance as sex, it is more than enough that they are good at it.

[steelish]

Parents aren't helping the situation. Have any of you seen the types of outfits that little girls wear nowadays? "JUICY" written across the ass of their pants. PARENTS buy these things for kids.