Seducing a Dom/Domme?

[ditzyblondegirl]

I have a Dom that I'm very interested in seducing.

What can a submissive do to keep the passion flowng for her/his ,Dom/Domme? Or What can submissive doto interest/attract a new Dom/Domme.? :)

[Jennifer Williams]

Step one: Say "Hi, my name is _____, nice to meet you."

Then follow the usual rules when meeting a person for the first time. You know, ask them where they're from, what they do for a living, and such and such. Talk to them, make conversation, learn about who they are while telling them about yourself. It's not any different at all from trying to get a date with a vanilla person. After you've talked for awhile, if you feel like things are going well, ask if they'd like to meet you again. And then go from there.

[ditzyblondegirl]

Thank you Jennifer for your reply. I'm a new sub and have been in my D/s relationship for three months now. I think seduce may have been a poor choice of word. I'm not trying to be cunning or crafty in catching and maintaining a relationship with a Dom. I truly care about my Dom's' pleasure. Are their any good books about being a Dom? I'm trying to understand the Dom's/Domme mind. I have no doubts that I am a submissive and for the first time in my life I feel complete. :)

[skittish doe]

Congratulations on finding one who completes you. Have you tried asking your Dominant how you can best please them? Everyone is different and further, each couple is unique.

A few books that kind folks - with far more knowledge than I - have recommended to me:

The Control Book by Peter Masters
http://www.amazon.com/Control-Book-Peter-Masters/dp/1442173866/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM also by Peter Masters
http://www.amazon.com/This-Curious-Human-Phenomenon-Exploration/dp/193462568X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266703617&sr=1-4

I was also told about another book that might be good specifically for someone new to the scene: Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking by Race Bannon
http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Ropes-Basic-Guide-Lovemaking/dp/1881943070/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266703297&sr=1-1

[Jennifer Williams]

Thank you Jennifer for your reply.
You're welcome.



I'm trying to understand the Dom's/Domme mind.
Good luck with that. Most of us work very hard to keep it all a dark, mysterious, secret. :hubba:

In truth, each person is an individual so the way your Dom's mind works is unique to him and the best way for you to understand it is to just plain ask him. Or you can do what my sub does and just pay so close attention to him that you know things about him which he didn't realize he told you (either verbally or through body language and such).



I have no doubts that I am a submissive and for the first time in my life I feel complete. :) Yay!

[Guera]

Most Dom/mes prefer to hear "Im here to please you" rather than "I want you to do..." Also most seem to prefer being approached (suplication).

[ditzyblondegirl]

Thank you for the advice and the links. I really appreciate it. ~ D

ps Guera, your correct. Just by adding "as you wish" and asking " is there anything else you desire?" and having a different tone made him very happy. Sir, called me his submissive lil wench. :) Being a new submissive, I'm insecure because my Dom has 20+ years in the lifestyle and I feel inadequate since I know there are way better submissive than I am. so I have been reading like crazy and putting forth effort to try and please Sir. thank you again for responding to me.

[brwneydgirl]

Being a new submissive, I'm insecure because my Dom has 20+ years in the lifestyle and I feel inadequate since I know there are way better submissive than I am. so I have been reading like crazy and putting forth effort to try and please Sir. thank you again for responding to me.


I know how you feel...and that can be an intimidating place to find yourself. Good for you for reading and researching (it does help!) and doing your best. Sounds like you're on the right track. :)

[openyoureyes]

Being a new submissive, I'm insecure because my Dom has 20+ years in the lifestyle and I feel inadequate since I know there are way better submissive than I am. so I have been reading like crazy and putting forth effort to try and please Sir.

This can be a hard thing to deal with as a new submissive (I'm in my first submissive relationship with an experienced Dom, too), but you have to remember that he's with you for a reason and he wouldn't be with you if you didn't make him happy. I'm sure you will do fine. This is a great forum for getting answers to your questions and/or just exploring different ideas. Good luck!