Unwanted Sexual Attention/Street Harassment

[selkie]

To me, being catcalled on the street - especially sexual/violent comments - is very threatening and makes me feel unsafe, the exact opposite of feeling sexy. To me this falls under the guidelines of ssc and rack, for someone (usually a woman) to be propositioned or called a whore and a bitch by a complete stranger is not safe or consensual at all.

I've been reading quite a few blogs about unwanted attention and harassment these days and had someone say offhand that there is no is no such thing as unwanted sexual attention for a sub. I find this woefully ignorant myself and was curious as to other subs opinions on the subject.


(For a very entertaining take on this subject and also on the subject that women in general have to live their lives with the knowledge that in real life she is very likely to be raped or molested against her will and not in any sort of fun playlike way, here is an interesting article entitled Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced )

[TwistedTails]

Well, I'm not a sub but I can give you an opinion. Your average catcaller is not bound by SSC or RACK. In fact nobody is "bound" by them, these guidelines are strictly voluntary. What you are describing is "Sexual Harassment" under US law, and verbal assault under some State laws. If you have a witness you do usually have legal recourse.

As far as a sub having to take anything anyone dishes out, that's just bullsh*t. Only your partner/s have that right and only to the level you agreed to.

Sounds like an interesting article but the link is not working for me. Too bad, avoiding being maced seems like a good thing to me. LOL

Cheers
Twisted
:wave:

[fetishdj]

Of course there is the concept of 'unwanted sexual attention' for a sub. Whoever said there wasn't doesn't understand the concept of BDSM relationships at all. They are instead following an unobtainable (and illegal) concept of sexual slavery where a sub has to accept anything that is dished out to them regardless of their own desires or safety.

The people in the street are not playing a kinky game or engaging in the lifestyle. They are morons who do not understand how a woman's mind works and think that shouting obscentities to her will somehow make her want to sleep with them. This is despite many years of evidence from research by dedicated building site personnel to the contrary. It has also been shown that driving past and shouting something which is barely heard because of the speed you are driving is also not a good chat up technique.

Even a 24/7 slave is not expected to enjoy or participate in this activity simply because they are a 24/7 slave. They are the property of their Master who, it could be said, may require them to participate in this sort of thing but it is not an automatic assumption. Plus there are many subs who are not sexually motivated - what about all the service submissives? Sub does not equal 'easy lay'.

[leo9]

Of course there is the concept of 'unwanted sexual attention' for a sub. Whoever said there wasn't doesn't understand the concept of BDSM relationships at all. They are instead following an unobtainable (and illegal) concept of sexual slavery where a sub has to accept anything that is dished out to them regardless of their own desires or safety.Either that or, just as foolishly, they are working on the (wish-fulfilment) idea that a sub is a slut who wants to be taken by anyone.


The people in the street are not playing a kinky game or engaging in the lifestyle. They are morons who do not understand how a woman's mind works and think that shouting obscentities to her will somehow make her want to sleep with them. I don't think so, and I have worked on enough building sites myself to have some observation to back it up. Like a flasher, their pleasure is not in imagining they are turning on their target, but that they are shocking or embarrassing her. It has been well established that most rapists are more driven by power and hatred than sexuality, and the same goes for these milder assaults.

It's non-consensual sadism, and being a sub doesn't mean you have to take it any more than any other woman.

[selkie]

Thanks for the replies, and here is the link - Schrodinger's Rapist (http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/)

[thir]

Thanks for the replies, and here is the link - Schrodinger's Rapist (http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/)

Thank you for the link.
I was in total agreement with the article about people respecting a no to attention, I think many have experienced being leaned on and it is a nuisance as well as the verbal abuse that often comes when, after several polite hints, you loose your patience and tell people to Go Away.

But I have trouble with the statistics of rape - where do they come from? And with the idea of seeing all males as potential rapists and all women as potential victims. I do not think I could live that way.

Here is the problem as viewed from another area, it can be very serious:

http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/sexual-harassment-leads-to-suicide-in-bangladesh/

Of course I agree with the rest that subs as well as anybody else have the right to say no.

A final comment on being viewed as a sex object: on a camp I was on quite a few men relished being seen as sex objects and claimed their right to it.
I could see the fun of that :-)
But it was under their control, and ended with the end of the camp, or it might have felt rather different.

[denuseri]

http://www.rainn.org/statistics confirms the claims made by the Author of the Article in question and has additonal information for those interested in statistics on rape and sexual assualt survivors.

Rain's data was collected from the following scources:

National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.
U.S. Department of Justice. 2003 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2003.
U.S. Department of Justice. 2004 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2004.
1998 Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls. 1998.
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. 1995 Child Maltreatment Survey. 1995.
U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics. 2000 Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement. 2000.
World Health Organization. 2002.
U.S. Department of Justice. 2005 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2005.