The Switch in me

[Kitten-Pi]

Hi, I am new to this group but I decided to come right out and talk. I have been a sub for a long time... but I am in a serious relationship now with a complete missionary lights off kind'f guy. Now, my female master was never around to seriously controll me so I never got to learn how she does it but we did discovour I've got a nice mean streak just right for being the dom.

Now here's the thing... I know what I like, but I don;t know how to play it onto other people, I've been given the opertunity to own a couple guys too and the idea just facinates me but I don;t know how to go about owning them

Yes I admit it I am a newb *smiles*

I know the spanking, I know the bondage, I also know how to get blood play (yummy) but I just don;t know how to be all that controlling and exciting.. any ideas?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

One questions: How old are you?

[Kitten-Pi]

I am 19, and yes if you got I was young from my horrific spelling that's perfectly alright. I'm translating spanish to english and I will look like a child. Working on it though.

[slavelucy]

To be honest, Kitten-Pi, i'm a little confused by what your question is, an di wonder if that's why you've had no responses.

Could you clarify what it is you're asking? Are you saying you've done the sub thing and now want to try being the dom? If so then i'd strongly recommend having a good look through the forums in general, you'll pick up lots of ideas on there, both from a phsycological and a pratical perspective.

If there is a specific question though, please do ask it. :)

sl

[Kitten-Pi]

I've been lurking around the forums for a few days now and reading stories and ideas behind others personal BDSM lives but I am still at a loss.

I am curious as to how someone starts the whole deal for the evening, for those of us who don't live the 24/7. How do I take controll and run the show. As I said before I've been the sub but I never paid attention to how we got into those positions. How did the humiliation work without it turning into verbal abuse? what kind'f things do you say to your partner? I'm so lost when it comes to being the dom, but I've been given the chance and would love to take it.

[slavelucy]

(thread merged with original thread - sl)

Yeah, i see what you mean now. i suspect most of those questions would be best answered by dominants really, but in terms of how to start a scene, i can sort of understand what you mean, especially when it's not 24/7. my Master would usually just..*thinks*...perhaps put his hand on the back of my neck, or in my hair and have me look at him, perhaps adding a 'ssssh' whilst i'm still yapping on in my usual lucy-ish way. (*grin*). Not being dominant makes it hard to answer that one any further, since i don't really start scenes, plus, even if i did, it's the dom perspective you're interested in.

Humiliation/verbal abuse...i think that's all about knowing your partner and a bit of trial and error. What some people would consider abuse, others may not. There is some good stuff on this particular issue here (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1791).

sl