Looking for ways to make Master Unfustrated/unannoyed/unangry

[evilduer]

Wanted to put this question out there for anyone to see and maybe i will get some responses that will help me out. At the moment i have in His words, i have an angry/fustrated/annoyed Master. And He has asked for me to go and get advice from others on how to relieve that fustration. Basically He asked me to talk to or ask on forums what it is that I could do to help him.

So my question of the day is how do you get your Master/Dom to calm down to relax to chill out and when He/She is angry at you how do you respond? Fall down on your knees and become passive in the treat of a beating, do you yell at Him/Her, beg like crazy what do you do?

[sdgirl]

He's angry/annoyed/frustrated with you? Or in general?

[evilduer]

He's angry/annoyed/frustrated with you? Or in general?

Perhaps at the time, start of it all He was just feeling a bit off that day. And i guess i pestered him poked him and prodded Him til he got angry/annoyed/fustrated and even now after He has sent me away for two days and finally got to speak with Him. He is still angry/annoyed/fustrated. Just trying to get some advice on what others do in a similar situation to calm them down get back on an solid ground again. Does that make sense?

[sdgirl]

Well, I would start by apologizing to him for pestering, poking and prodding him, which is never a good idea any way in any type of relationship. Then examine why you felt the need to annoy him further when he was already in a bad mood.

[evilduer]

I have made my apologizies to Him after my two day ban. Hes still all those things even after that so thats why i was asking for help on what others would do in that situation. And i know i shouldnt to that but i got very upset at him thinking i was doing something i didnt do. and it just got out of control for a bit. I have examined for two days my actions and am totally sorry for them. Just need help figuring out what i can do to better his mood.

[fetishdj]

If you know in advance that he is angry (sometimes difficult to spot but little signs may give away the ticking fuse before the bomb goes off but only you know him well enough to spot them) then this may be a time to switch into 'service' mode. Long, stressful day at work so he comes home to find either:

- A submissive who pokes him and prods him and bothers him about little things which only add to his stress

or

- A submissive who takes his coat, asks him if he wants anything, has a cup of his favourite hot drink ready, offers to massage his shoulders or rub his feet, maybe tell him to go take a bath while she prepares dinner and so on.

The latter can defuse the bomb before it goes off. Later on, you may want to offer to talk to him about what is making him angry (there's that communication thing again) as this may help him shift some of the stress. If he says no, don't push it, just let him talk in his own time. Work stress can be really bad and he may not even be aware of it.

Lavender oil is a good essential oil for relaxation (for all that it smells of grandmas :) ). You can put up to 10 drops in a bath of hot water (which he must soak in for at least 15 minutes to get the full benefit) or a few drops into an oil burner (or bowl of warm water on or over a radiator) or mix a few drops with almond oil (or any organic oil - sunflower or olive oil work as well but has a less neutral smell than almond) and use it for massage. Warning: I have known some people to fall asleep under the influence of lavender oil.

You can also rub the temples and forehead with neat, unmixed lavender oil (take care not to get into the eyes) as it is a fairly safe oil for skin contact. DO NOT USE ANY OTHER FORM OF PURE ESSENTIAL OIL IN THIS WAY AS SOME OF THEM ARE VERY CAUSTIC (especially the citrus oils) AND SO SHOULD NOT BE USED TOPICALLY IN AN UNDILUTED FORM. Some are safe for this application but it is best not to take the risk unless you know for certain. All it takes is a few drops on the tips of each of your middle fingers which are then rubbed in small circles round the temples. Gets the carotid circulation moving :)

[sdgirl]

Well, what's done is done.

He should have gotten over it in two days time and be ready to talk things out like an adult.

[evilduer]

Well, what's done is done.

He should have gotten over it in two days time and be ready to talk things out like an adult.

that made me laugh. i would think so to but not just about me looking at what others do when they know they have taxed their Master/Mistress what are the different ways one handles it.

[evilduer]

Thank you fetishdj for your much appreciated help.

[sdgirl]

Can't help you there. I've never taxed my guy. Yet.

[Jennifer Williams]

Honestly, if you have stopped doing whatever it was you were doing that made him upset, he should get over it. You can't control his mood and you're not responsible for it. As long as you're no longer doing whatever it was that was making him upset, and you've sincerely apologized for it, the best you can do is add to the positive things in his life. You know him better than any of us do; you know what he likes, what he wants from you, what he asks for. One of the things my little one does that always seems to discourage me from a sour mood is surprise me with something that I wasn't aware he knew about; he'll make dinner and say "We were out of your favorite brand of butter so I went out and bought some." and little thoughtful things like that usually make me adore him too much to be annoyed at anything, least of all him.

So maybe try doing that; just think about things your master likes, things he'll appreciate you doing; maybe things you don't usually do, as fetish suggested you can draw him a bath (if he likes baths), put his favorite music on, make his favorite dinner, get dressed up (or dressed down) for him when he comes home. Little things are everything, really.

[evilduer]

Thank you so much for the advice everyone. *hugs*

[openyoureyes]

If I know he's had a bad day (he'll usually text me or let me know when he sees me that his day was bad) then I tend to stay out of his way and let him do whatever he wants. I'll usually rub his neck/shoulders or scratch my nails down his back (something he likes). Then I'll see what he wants for dinner, and just let him relax and make whatever he wants. This usually puts him in a better mood.

However, when I'm the one who upsets him, I usually get upset in response and will get pouty or pissy, depending what he was upset about. Neither of which he responds well to. At that point, we usually take some time to ourselves to stew and calm down, and then one of us will come to the other and we usually both apologize for our behaviors (it's very rare that just one of us is in the wrong). We almost always come to a resolution before bed time, though, so if he were to cut me off for 2 days I would completely melt down and flip out. But...I require a lot of communication and being cut off or given the silent treatment is the worse possible thing a significant other could do to me. Obviously not everyone feels the same.

I would think that by now he'd accept your apology and move on. If you're sorry and have no intentions of repeating that behavior, I would hope he'd be a little more forgiving. Do you know what exactly you did and how it made him feel? Perhaps showing you clearly understand what you did and why it upset him so much would make it easier for him to get over this particular issue. From what you've said, his reaction seems...well, a bit like an over reaction, so maybe you triggered an unpleasant memory for him, or something that caused an extreme reaction to a not-so extreme action.

Good luck.

[evilduer]

Thank you so much for the advice everyone. *hugs*

awesome help. i understand what you are saying and i know he told me that is was not my first offense like that and sadly its true. So i took the silent time and reflected and searched for help and got some good help i believe thanks for the advice

[devilishsub]

Perhaps my Master and I have a simplistic relationship but whenever He is in a bad mood my forumula is :
Apology, blowjob, sandwich, repeat as necessary.

[fetishdj]

Perhaps my Master and I have a simplistic relationship but whenever He is in a bad mood my forumula is :
Apology, blowjob, sandwich, repeat as necessary.

Hmmm... could you train my partner in this method of yours? :)

[Jennifer Williams]

Hmmm... could you train my partner in this method of yours? :)

Oh, are you going to top from the side now, lol?
Sex and food...so easy to manipulate...

[BryansGrrrl]

It wasn't clear to me from the OP if this is an online or RL relationship. Much of the wonderful advice here is given from the RL point of view. I wonder how differently it would be handled if it were online? It is an interesting possibility to explore even though the advice may no longer be needed, or was never needed in that particular context.

So, if I had pissed off my dom in an online relationship and was cut off from communication for two days... what would I do to help fix the situation? Perhaps writing a journal / story / poem for them. Perhaps taking pictures that might better the mood. Actually, that's about all I can come up with, really. LOL

[evilduer]

BryansGrrrl: its is actually an on-line relationship working towards meeting in RL after being online together for 2 years the plans are for next month. We shall see i that is going to happen. Thanks for the advice and appreciate people taking time to respond.

[fetishdj]

Oh, are you going to top from the side now, lol?
Sex and food...so easy to manipulate...

Well, its always worth a try :)

[leo9]

BryansGrrrl: its is actually an on-line relationship working towards meeting in RL after being online together for 2 years the plans are for next month. We shall see i that is going to happen. Thanks for the advice and appreciate people taking time to respond.Ah, then that rules out the suggestion I was going to make, which was that letting him take it out of your hide should make him feel a lot better.

[FrgnSwtc]

oh, are you going to top from the side now, lol?
Sex and food...so easy to manipulate...

lmao

[brwneydgirl]

Curious if you've made amends yet, evilduer....

[slavebrat]

I hate when I frustrate my Master. It is the worse feeling in the world. When this happens, I generally leave him to his thoughts first, because I would never want him to retaliate in anger. If it is a punishable offense, I generally take it 'like a woman' and then proceed. It is never easy knowing you've some how got on his bad side. I don't know if anyone can give any one way to appease his frustrations, it is something you two will have to stumble through and grow from the situation. Then go on and you'll know, in the future if you upset him again, how you two can proceed through the next situation.

[mistik]

Perhaps my Master and I have a simplistic relationship but whenever He is in a bad mood my forumula is :
Apology, blowjob, sandwich, repeat as necessary.

Shared this one with my Master & he says add a beer in there & he doesn't see how any Master could stay angry for long ;)