Having sex without ejaculating?

[Escritor]

My Mistress wants me to find a way that I could have sex with her, while not feeling nothing or close to nothing, so she can cum and I can't.

I've seen on some sexshops hollow dildos and strapons. Do those work? Is there any other toy that could be used? Have you done this? What would you recommend?

Thanks in advance for all the answers!

[denuseri]

Fingers and tongues come to mind.

[openyoureyes]

Fingers and tongues come to mind.

I had a boyfriend once who while giving oral would cum (without me touching him) every time. Although I guess this is rare.

As for the OP, does she specifically want to have intercourse, or does she just want to get off without you getting off? If that's the case, then I'd agree with denuseri to use your fingers and tongue, or whatever else your Mistress would want you to use.

If she specifically wants intercourse, you may have trouble controlling yourself. If it's ok with your Mistress, you may want to masturbate before a session with her, or perhaps even spend time by yourself working yourself up and stopping, so that you can better control your ejaculations. If you warn her when you feel close, she may be able to do something to stop it, either stopping and taking a moment, or inflicting pain (if that would stop it).

[WyldWyl]

Or just multiple layers of condoms?

[Escritor]

As for the OP, does she specifically want to have intercourse, or does she just want to get off without you getting off? If that's the case, then I'd agree with denuseri to use your fingers and tongue, or whatever else your Mistress would want you to use.

If she specifically wants intercourse, you may have trouble controlling yourself. If it's ok with your Mistress, you may want to masturbate before a session with her, or perhaps even spend time by yourself working yourself up and stopping, so that you can better control your ejaculations. If you warn her when you feel close, she may be able to do something to stop it, either stopping and taking a moment, or inflicting pain (if that would stop it).

No, she wants to have intercourse, and she wants me not to cum. So masturbating before would be the same. We could experiment on doing something to stop, but I'm not confident it would work if I were really worked up, besides, if I stopped, she wouldn't be able to cum and then we'd have to start all over again and it would be a vicious circle.

[Escritor]

Or just multiple layers of condoms?

Mmm... maybe we'll try that and see if that works. But wouldn't multiple layer of condoms be more likely to rip or break?

[Jennifer Williams]

I think openyoureyes was saying to masturbate before the session starts, so you're running on empty when you start, and I think that's the simplest solution (though you still may be able to orgasm even without anything in you to ejaculate).

You could try cock rings, they can help you hold out longer and possibly your partner will be able to cum first.

But I would recommend training and practice the most; whenever you feel yourself about to get close, stop and switch to some other activity (one you preferably don't find arousing), until you're able to control yourself again. It takes practice to build up to where you want to be (with anything, really), and if she's patient with you, you should be able to hold out for longer and longer periods.

You can also try getting her close to orgasm in some other way first, so she's able to orgasm very quickly, long before you.

[subrob99]

That is a tough one but the cock rings should be ok. Another thing you could have her try is if you feel your self about to cum have her squeeze your balls as hard as she can.

[fetishdj]

A technique I was told was to squeeze the head of the penis with fingers and bend it slightly (either you can do this or she can). It causes the penis to go a little flaccid and delays any orgasm for a short while but you have to get it in the right place and that is hard to describe. However, you do need to be expert at knowing when you are due to cum and pulling out in order to perform the operation.

There are hollow dildoes and you may also want to consider two sided penis gags - you wear one penis side as a gag and she uses the other one (which is usually longer) to ride your face.

[slave alexander]

My Mistress wanted, and so did I, the same thing. We tried a prolong/desensatize spray which didn't really do the trick, we learned you certainly have to wear a condom when doing it I could still feel warmth but it ended up decreasing my erection and her enjoyment.
You can look into tantric techniques but they take time and comitment, I had read that if your Mistress helps in these sessions it can help as you are involving her and so you're excitment levels during sex aren't quite as heightened.
In the end I purchased a hollow strap on from adamandeve for about $25 that had a 2" elastic waste band and suprised her with it one night. Use lube and put it on before you get too excited, if you find you can still feel something you could then use a desensatize spray. The strap on is bigger than me so it is an extra added bonus for my Mistress that she got something bigger and for aslong as she wanted! Certainly helped with her giving me a little verbal humiliation too :)

Good luck

[VaAugusta]

Yes, multiple layers will lend itself to breaking.

I couldn't tell if Wyld was joking, so I wanted to emphasize DO NOT do that.

[fetishdj]

Yes, multiple layers will lend itself to breaking.

I couldn't tell if Wyld was joking, so I wanted to emphasize DO NOT do that.

Though it does depend on your requirements for the condoms... DO NOT use multiple layers if you are hoping to stop her from getting pregnant or passing on STDs. Presumably she does not want to get pregnant (otherwise she may find that letting you ejaculate would, in fact, help in this :) ), though you do not say how established the relationship is (i.e. whether you are monogamous and have been cleared of all STDs).

However, if the only role of condoms here is to desensitize you and you both have a clean bill of health STD wise (if you are concerned you can have tests) and she is using some other means of contraception (the pill, a coil) then using multiple condoms will be fine because it does not matter if they break.

I would like to point out, however, that the withdrawl/not cumming method of contraception is very unlikely to work. Pre cum still contains sperm (lower count but it really only needs one out of the millions to get through) and by the time you have got to the point of cumming you have undoubtedly already released plenty of precum.

[Escritor]

We've had a monogamous committed relationship for 9 years, but we are using condoms as a means of contraception for the moment, since she's on a break from the pill. That's why I asked.

[flying66]

yes they would, the friction of the extra latex would make it more likely to break

[fetishdj]

Then mulitple condoms are not for you in this case. Far too risky.

There are many techniques for delaying orgasm in men, some of them discussed above, but I am not sure any of them actually stop orgasm once it passes the point of no return. Once you reach that point there is little that can help you and even if you withdraw so that you do not cum inside her you have still cum and that defeats the purpose. Squeezing the head of the penis may help and has very BDSM connotations if she does it to you. Usually this used to be used as a trick to prolong the sensation of orgasm in men (and mean that she is more likely to orgasm if the man has problems with premature ejaculation) rather than stop it completely but if you withdraw and do this then stop all sensation on the penis for a while (maybe give her some attention with a dildo, vibe or your fingers/tongue for a bit) then your penis will subside. You may even be able to get it back up to erection and have another go for a few minutes untii you approach orgasm again and you can then repeat. It takes a lot of practise to get this sort of thing right - both the timing of the withdrawl (you both need to know your responses accurately) and the squeezing of the penis head. Ice cubes may help to speed up the process of losing the erection.

I am not sure you can effectively prevent orgasm without losing the erection - the very fact that the penis is engorged is a stimulating thing so that needs to be lost, if only a little, before you can stop. So any process will need to involve a cycle of erection, penetration, approach point of no return, withdraw, go slightly flaccid, achieve erection, penetrate and so on. Also be aware that each cycle will take less time to reach point of no return. Plus, if you are allowed an orgasm in such a state, after many cycles that orgasm will be intense...