Submissive with mental illness.

[lunaticlorraine]

I was just wondering if there's any other submissives who also suffer from mental illness?
I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder, and am on medication for it.
I am recovering, but like I said, is there anyone else who had mental illnesses?
How do you cope with also being a submissive?
How do you explain it to your Dom/Domme?

[southern belle]

I would imagine that the percentage of people with diagnosed mental illness in the bdsm community would be same as in any other community or the population as a whole. The important thing is (as always) communication. It is important to educate your partner about the illenss and it's symptoms so they can be aware and help to recognize any red flags that may happen with you. It is good that you are seeking treatment and are on medication for the condition. Luckily mental illness does not carry the stigma that it did years ago and I think it is important not to let it define you as a person. If it is kept under control you can lead a normal happy life.
Good luck.

[denuseri]

<< agree with belle on this 100%.

[sluttyslave{Hesp}]

I agree too with Belle too.

I think any Dom/Domme who truely cares about a submissive would be open to their past and any mental illness that includes. As to explaining it to them, there's no way but the no-nonsense coming straight out with it in my opinion. Don't hide it, you'll be fine :) Love xx

[ButterflyWandering]

i too suffer from social anxiety disorder, and am on medication. i am not collared at the moment, but have been in the past. My activity is online only, and that of course is the direct effect of my disorder. A satisfying alternative to going out into the real world.....

[fetishdj]

There was a time when we were all considered mentally ill (still are technically but that is changing - it is not longer popular for someone to be diagnosed as mentally ill because of a lifestyle choice and we have the homosexuals to thank for fighting that war). The truth is that mental illness is a very vague and difficult thing to define adequetly.

On topic: I agree with the above. Communicate everything you can with your partner(s). That way they know they can deal with it. Bear in mind, in a long term relationship where one has a degenerative or relapsing/remitting condition there is a chance that they may have to sign the paperwork to have their lover committed or similar. This is a massive thing which many are scared of doing so the more you talk about it the better.

Most people, once informed of a condition like this, accept it and deal with it and learn to work thier life around it.

BTW, if it helps make you feel better, I am of the opinion that anyone who is classified as psychologically 'normal' is about as unusual and 'mentally ill' as anyone else. Its such a rare thing to be 'normal', everyone has some quirks of personality or little mental problems which distinguish them from everyone else. In a relationship, you have to get used to another person's quirks and you could see mental illnesses as merely slightly more serious quirks that happen to have an official diagnosis and the benefit of some form of proper treatment. You rarely get that for being simply a jerk :)

[southern belle]

lol @ fetish, i almost deleted/replaced the word "normal" with another adjective but decided to go with it. I agree that there is no fixed description for normal that applies to everyone. The definition of normal is different for each individual. What might feel normal (ie comfortable/familiar) to me might drive you "crazy". Anyways thanks for inspiring me to clarify my meaning.
I have dealt with the issue of mental illness from almost every conceivable angle from being the child of a severly bi polar mother whose first hospitalization occured when i was 10 to being diagnosed myself as an adult to working in the field with mental health professionals. I could write a book on the subject. The most important thing I have taken away from my experiences is the importance of the person with the condition not to stygmatize themselves. Sure, get treatment, educate yourself and be your own strongest advocate but realize that you are so much more than that diagnosis, which is what I meant by not letting it define you as a person.

[lunaticlorraine]

Thanks guys.
I dont really know what to say.
Mind block atm lol.
But Im glad that its not abnormal for someone with mental health issues to be interested in BDSM.
I just wondered if it'd cause problems.

[openyoureyes]

I don't think it would cause any more problems than it could in a 'vanilla' relationship, or in other aspects of ones life. I think it's our sensitivity to these things, our desire to keep our issues private, that can cause issue. I think the best way to tell a Dom/me is to just be upfront and honest about it. If you think it's something they need to know, then it probably is. Depending on what mental illness, without the knowledge, a Dom/me could potential cause harm or unknowingly exacerbate the problem.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety, and I have seen a few different therapists, though I refused their suggestion of medication. Every so often an issue will crop up, and it is something I want anyone I'm with to know about if it becomes an issue, but I usually only talk about when I feel it's appropriate for them to know. My current boyfriend is aware of any issues I've had.

I will echo what everyone else has said about communication. It's just as important for Dom/mes to be upfront and honest about any issues they have. It's never fun to find out down the road that someone has been hiding something from you.

[Jennifer Williams]

My boy has had anxiety problems, though he's never been officially diagnosed with anything. To me, that's just part of who he is as a whole person, and I do my best to understand this part of him just like all his other personality traits. He has "tells" that let me know he's about to have an anxiety attack, and because I can recognize them I can help him by either changing or removing him from the situation, or at least encourage him through it; but I could not do this if I didn't know what was going on for him. It is my job as his Domme to know him inside and out, and it would be necessary for your partner to know this about you, if you want to have a meaningful, healthy, trusting relationship with them. And I would hope that that partner would help you and support you in striving for a healthy, happy life in which you can both mutually grow together.

[armybondy]

I am in the same boat as openyoureyes. I struggle with diagnosed clinical depression with bipolar symptoms as well as undiagnosed anxiety problems. My husband has been aware of these issues since we met and he has educated himself as much as possible to understand how it all effects me and how I respond to situations and adjust what he does and how he handles my responses.

[sweetiepie]

I suffer from mental illness. Just not gonna go into how :)
I dunno really. I just kind of came out and told him everything. Turned out Master understood more than i thought he would and i have never regretted teling him :)

[Snark]

The greatest tragedy about mental illness is the stigma placed by society and accepted by the client. Mental disorders are little different from other medical disorders such as diabetes, with one critical exception: treatments are difficult and often times just don't work. That leaves it up to the client to develop EFFECTIVE coping skills. Unfortunately, too many people develop skills that are either ineffective or counter effective. Having the support of someone who can understand, can recognize the traits and trends and gently, yet firmly assist the client back onto the path of stability can be crucial. Depending on how severe the symptoms and whether or not there is a tendency for the symptoms to become more severe will determine further courses of treatment. Again, as earlier recommended, communication is key; but empathetic understanding is critical.

[The Jaded Dominant { koral }]

I was just wondering if there's any other submissives who also suffer from mental illness?
I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder, and am on medication for it.
I am recovering, but like I said, is there anyone else who had mental illnesses?
How do you cope with also being a submissive?
How do you explain it to your Dom/Domme?

Every once in awhile this subject appears and reappears concerning The Problems of ANY one with a Mental Illness be it Dom or sub..

As I have posted on this subject before and I make it no Huge secret That I suffer from both a severe form of Bipolar Disorder I'm one of those rapid cycle rs.. and a severe case of PTSD from the normal causes.

Now I have been doing this a long time and have been hospitalized received ECT treatments and the whole works. Does it affect your ability to Play or Be a responsible Member of this Life.? Sure at times it does. Hey so does any that's any folks Chronic Illness. As long as you are taking your medications. You are seeing some kind of Pro who actually understands Mental Illness..not Doc Welby from next door. and and and You are open and honest of your condition with your Dominant/submissive of the nature of your illness it's triggers and how you handle things in a emergency.

Is it more difficult one way or another to have a partner/s that have such a problem. sure again at times it can be.. Mental Illness brings it's own set of problems and it's demon's can overpower even the best intentioned Dom or sub.. But in the same vein..What if Your Partner had a heart condition and was limited physically in Play/sex hmm would ya kick em out the door.. I doubt it.or for any other problem..Diabetes any of a dozen of things that can limit one..

Should You...Could You.. Would You..

Mental Illness Is difficult yet manageable. be open and honest about it
and.........

DO NOT BE F'ING ASHAMED/EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT............

Therin ends this particular rant........
Thaddeus

[13'sbadkitty]

hmmmm, my list is about as interesting as anyones...sort of a down graded ptsd from a more intense form of dissociative disorder, addiction i guess are the most interesting to others and the ones that had me down for the count for much of the time. I am recovered from addiction, not at the moment suffering all that much from the ptsd thing either. loads of work there on both. i fortunately met my Master in a 12 step fellowship so that knocked that off the list to start. But I myself told Him once i knew He was worth sharing that with, before we actually played though. It took Him a bit before He trusted i would tell if i wasn't ok but that was all it ever effected us at all.

[Chekaman]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, not a problem for the most part.

[chantress]

Hello- I havent posted much here but I read a fair bit. I have yet to really say much about who I am but I wanted to say that I have been diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and DID (dissociative identity disorder formerly known as multiple personality disorder). I have done a fair amount of work in therapy but definitely have a long way to go. Master is very understanding and is really in tune with who I am as a person, he notices when I switch, when I am triggered and he deals with it appropriately. he understands that the D/s dynamic of our relationship is very much just with me. He actually has a vanilla sexual relationship with another "part" and a totally different relationship with others. It has yet to be a problem and I do not foresee it becoming a problem. IMHO it is about your Dom/me knowing you in a very intimate way. For Master and I it is extremely important that he knows everything. Fortunately for me he is very intuitive and understanding. I do not know if this helps or not but none the less it is what it is.

chantress

[ks17]

I was just wondering if there's any other submissives who also suffer from mental illness?
I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder, and am on medication for it.
I am recovering, but like I said, is there anyone else who had mental illnesses?
How do you cope with also being a submissive?
How do you explain it to your Dom/Domme?

I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and from antisocial personality disorder. I'm recovering and I'm a slave. I explained it to my Master very honestly. When we first began our relationship, I was up front and honest with Him as to what my mental illness was and why I have them. I cope with being a submissive the same way I guess everyone does, I love it. I live to serve my Master and to please Him. He, in turn, understands my conditions and is very open and quick to communicate everything with me so that I can understand what I am doing right and what I am doing that does not please Him. I'm happy to talk to you about any questions you have in terms of being a submissive with mental illness. I have been one for many many years. :D Hope that helps!