Help..How do I get through this?

[MstrShimoda]

I do not know if You have ever had to do it ..but if you have,than I could seriously use Your help...

..After a long wonderful near perfect longterm relationship with My slave...

..I buried her three days ago thanks to a drunk in a half tonne..

..As a Buddhist I have no hatred for this man...

..I have great compassion for him for what I am about to put him through..

..But what I do have is a pain I was never expecting to feel..

..Noone in My vanilla world could possibly understand My anguish..

..So I turn to here..

..I am to say at the very least...completely lost..

..This situation is completely Unacceptable!

..Has anyOne ever had to do this?..If so ,than how do I get through it?

[Lateques]

Okay, I cannot compare what you are going through to anything I have experienced myself outside of the loss of close family.

All I can say is you are in mourning. You need to process the loss you are experiencing by finding an outlet or way to express those feelings. After that the best healer is time. I know it's rather clinical for me to say it this way, but hopefully it can be of some help in a form.

Accept your pain, grieve and express it in a way you feel comfortable and from there, let time do what it does best.

I wish I could be of more help.

[Jennifer Williams]

Others have been where you are, you are not the first, and you are not alone. Though your friends and family cannot fully understand your situation, they can still provide you with support and love. You have all of our support here, too, and with time you will be able to heal.

My cousin of 27 years passed away a few months ago suddenly, and his parents and brother all speak with a grief counselor, and they've told me that it helps them. Perhaps it might help you too, so that you will be able to speak with a real person about the entirety of your situation. I hope you are able to find comfort from whatever you choose to do.

[o1011o]

Oh my...these things are often hard. Have you considered that why it hurts so much, even if as a Buddhist you can let her go, may be that she allowed you to project a fragile and vulnerable part of your self onto her? Many Masters take care of their inner Submissive by projecting it onto another, as many Subs get to know their inner Dom by seeing it in their Master. Love her, whether she is here with you now or in another part of this cyclical existence, and know that as we are all connected a very real part of you went through all that she experienced in her transition. The fragile inner part of ourselves is often unprepared for this kind of trauma, but if you can keep coming back to loving kindness it will see you through. Have compassion for her, for the driver, for yourself. Let yourself feel what you need to. I hope this helps, really I do. My heart goes out to you.

[_ID_]

Okay, I cannot compare what you are going through to anything I have experienced myself outside of the loss of close family.

All I can say is you are in mourning. You need to process the loss you are experiencing by finding an outlet or way to express those feelings. After that the best healer is time. I know it's rather clinical for me to say it this way, but hopefully it can be of some help in a form.

Accept your pain, grieve and express it in a way you feel comfortable and from there, let time do what it does best.

I wish I could be of more help.

I have to completely concur with this.

To add, you must allow your memory of your submissive to remain. Remember the good times. You also have to mentally let them go. While your time was memorable, and enjoyable, you must keep the memory but release them from this temporal world they resided in. Doing so allows you to release the emotions kept inside. So put their things in a box, or a storage room if you feel the need to keep these things. But don't surround yourself with them, this makes getting past their passing that much more difficult.

The part Lateques had said about finding an outlet is VERY important. Find a hobby, any hobby, and join a group that has meetings and stuff. This helps you get out of the home, and surround yourself with others. They might have known your love, or might not. The important thing to know is this group of people will be an outlet you can vent to, and lean on as your sorrow ebbs and flows in severity.

[BanditIRA]

I saw this post last night and was at a loss of what to say, I've lost someone in my life so close to me I thought I was going to join them. I didn't.

Just remind yourself, keep breathing, remember the world will spin into a new day, no matter how much we want to fight that and want it to just pause. A hobby like said above will help, just don't shut everyone else in your life. And if you need help, ask.

[QuietMaster]

A few suggestions:

1. The past cannot be undone nor returned.

2. Focus on the memories as positives that would lead you in the future.

3. Rationalise what she might want you to do in your new phase in life ... to live with sad memories or fond memories.

4. As hard as it would be ... a person needs to let go of the past and move forward. It is like this, if a person is holding on to the past with both hands, what would he/she had to pull/propel them forward.

5. When one door closes, there is very little gains/merits to try to enter that room again. There are many other opportunities to explore with the past memories are guiding lights.

6. The mind should prevail over matter.

There are no set solutions to these unfortunate situations, for each would take his/her path based on personal optics plus integrating suggestions from others.