View Full Version : I need to know the "how" of being Top
perfectzero
10-20-2010, 04:01 PM
I was recently asked by a partner to fulfill a the Top roll in a scene. Obviously, whatever we are going to do is going to be light. However, I'm really lost, I have no clue how to go about doing that or initiating. I've tried doing some research and I suppose I really have no clue where to look. The partner in question has had S/M experience as a sub and seems to be quite knowledgeable but I'm also not sure if I should ask questions or how much information they can really provide. The only thing I know that they 100% want me to do is spank them with my belt. Advice is desperately wanted and needed.
Topping and Dominating are different. Since your new at it and they are not, asking is perfectly fine. Unless that is part of the scene. Asking if it is would be permissible.
As far as where to look. What would you want done to you, if it were light? Research about those things.
perfectzero
10-21-2010, 10:50 PM
Well thank you. I guess it just seems really overwhelming and while I love google I'm not exactly sure what information is useful and what can be discarded. I suppose I'm also not sure how to bring up the topic with my partner.
Veridical
10-22-2010, 03:57 AM
The thing to remember is this kind of thing relies *heavily* on communication between the two or more individuals involved in the scene. I would strongly recommend asking the other person what it is exactly they're wanting. You know they're wanting a spanking from you. Do you know if they want to be over your knee, laid out, bent over, etc? These are the kinds of questions that would be really good to ask. :)
As far as broaching the topic, the way I personally would do it would be to let them know you want to talk about the scene they're wanting to do, and that you have a few questions.
perfectzero
10-22-2010, 11:08 AM
Thank you, that was very helpful. :)
ropekitty
11-03-2010, 09:11 PM
How Do I top. . . well, If I'm asked to top by my partner, then I'd better fucking do what He wants since He is my Dom. In that case I am His service top doing what He wants to fill His needs. If I'm in the mood to find a bottom play partner to practice my skills on, then I just have to suck it up, know it's going to be odd at first cause I am not naturally one to grab someone by the hair and do X,Y,Z to them with out slipping a "are you okay Sir/Lady?" in a few times.
As to the how of it. . . How Do I top? How ever I feel like it that day. How do I, who wants to just enjoy being a sub, flip the switch? ummm, If I pick up on the other person not taking control, I don't like to wait. That's usually how I started topping. Also I tend to start off as the bratty bottom then slip into wicked top. That's just how I do it. Everyone figures out their own ways and what they need to get them there.
~RK~