Punishment (feedback, please?)

[AmyW]

Hi!

Though I've often been in the position of a bottom, I have not topped very often before.
I in the past I have had trouble maintaining control, because my partner doesnt respond to physical punishment.
Instead i decided to explore the things that may trigger psychological reactions for punishment.
One of his peeves is silence and he hates being ignored.

I was thinking about silencing him with a gag or strip of duct tape and maybe tying his hands and feet and have him stand absolutely still in order to balance something(suggestions?) while I leave the room.
I've spoken to him about this (minus the silencing and the restrains) and he seemed enthusiastic>

Is this safe? I might be sounding overly cautious, but seeing as he is unable to speak...

and if anything, are there any good variations on this? (silence/being ignored/having to perform a task to my satisfaction being the key factors)

[peach]

I would strongly recommend against gagging and binding and leaving the room. There are so many things that could go wrong, He could sneeze, cough, fall over, panic....so many variables that you would be responsible for watching for and taking care of him while he is bound. Blindfold him if you feel like it but do not leave him unattended. Duck tape, in my opinion, is a very harsh sticky and could take the skin away when removed so would strongly recommend not using that, esp. on the face area.

If you are looking for tasks to give for punishment, it needs to be something he does not enjoy doing period. Thats the idea of punishment, it should not be fun, if it is a serious punishment and not a funishment or something you have set him up to fail at just so you can "punish" him as part of a scene.

I will do just about anything to avoid punishments from Master, that is how bad i hate them and how bad they effect me while it is on going and then for days/weeks after. They are not fun, they are not sexy and i do not ever like them. Have only had a few occasions where it has come up the entire time we have been together but i do NOT ever want another one. Not to say i won't, no one is perfect but i do everything i can to not need one.

[Ozme52]

First... when you are in the top role, do what pleases you. That's the point, both for you and for your partner who is asking to be the bottom (whether this is a switch or the preferred role of a new partner.)

I agree with peach, you don't want to incapacitate your partner and abandon him or her... even for a few minutes, it only takes about a minute to asperate and suffocate. And regarding duck tape, there are specially made bondage tapes that make excellent substitutes for duck tape. Proper tools make a difference while letting you still accomplish your goals.

Though physical... the following punishment is more about frustration and concentration.

Paddle him, (a pingpong paddle is light and non-damaging.) Make him count the strokes. Hell, make him choose the number of strokes, he'll likely choose a number higher than you would have chosen. It has the advantage of not "ignoring" him. Now add in the frustration. Tell him to count the left cheek blows ordinally and the right cardinally. Blows across both cheeks increment both counts.

If he forgets to count or miscounts either side, you get to chastise him and make him begin again with the incorrect count. And of course, both sides continue until both sides achieve the desired count, even if one side is over the count.

If he isn't responding well to a punishment, you need to assert your control... remember, that's in part, the point of being the top... maintaining control, but you can do so by questioning his desire to submit to you. Is he so "weak and sniveling" that he can't bear up? Or so "disinterested" that he can't maintain the role? You have to figure out how to play his mind. How to assert that you are in charge. How to be dominant. You have to figure out which words make him feel submissive to you... and make him want to do whatever it takes to please you.

This is hard for a natural submissive... so you may have to think of yourself as a service top... doing this at his behest... and therefore train yourself to give to him, in service, the very best experience you can. Go to a dominant or top in your community and take some training. Learn ropes... learn whips and floggers... learn how to read the needs of a bottom or submissive.