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View Full Version : Disapointment



newfun
12-30-2010, 11:26 AM
So i'm very new to this, but have ben lucky enough to meet one who has taken the time to guide me, however, She of course so much beyond and ahead of where i am leaves me feeling, as though i constantly disapoint her. She makes it clear i do not, but i can't help feeling that my lack of expirence will eventually drive her away. Anyone else ever felt this way, and did it end well or badly

_ID_
12-30-2010, 10:27 PM
Depends on what side of the slash you're on.

I was new, and Dom. She was experienced and sub. It didn't go well.

Ozme52
12-31-2010, 01:04 PM
Yes, you'll find that every dominant has their own needs and requirments, so no matter how much or how little experience you have, you will be striving to meet your dom/me's needs.

And dominants are far more tolerant of inexperienced subs than the other way around. There's a joy to be had in the training.

Regardless, and imo, very few "first" relationships survive because the less experienced partner is figuring out what they want. So to that end, I'm sure your domme is more worried about disappointing you than you are of disappointing her at this point.

newfun
01-01-2011, 08:03 AM
thank you, i had not considerd Your point at all.

Cruelty Redifined
01-02-2011, 10:48 AM
For Me, as a Dom, it would not be an ideal situation if my sub knows everything, and doesn't slips up at all...punishing her, molding her to my requirements is very important and fun part for me, and I believe it is for majority of actual Dominants.
And I agree with Oz that she is the one who needs to make you feel comfortable, so don't worry and just enjoy the sensations.
~C R

Flaming_Redhead
01-03-2011, 04:02 PM
With my first dominant partner, I felt woefully inadequate. He seemed to have this notion that I should just do things to please him without having to be told, but the problem was that I didn't know what he wanted me to do. Being able to anticipate his needs came a little easier with time. However, it would've gone a lot smoother if his expectations were more realistic for a beginner.

newfun
01-11-2011, 09:46 PM
Well, as it turns out the answer is, (at least for me) it didnt work out. I do feel i learned alot, hopefully i wont make the same mistakes again. I'm not sure though, that i could have prevented the mistakes i made, however, i do think we learn more from failure than from success, so i plan to take some time and process this failure, and hopefully next time (if there is one) be a better submissive, partner, and all around girl. Thank you all so much for your input.

zee
01-11-2011, 10:35 PM
So sorry darlin' - big hugs. So it didn't work out - YOU still did it. You took a chance and "got into the water" (yes, picked that metaphor just for you). i'm proud of you. the 1st one is behind you :)

I'm scheduled to see my Master in mid Feb for the first time in 25 years. Yes, i'm worried. In fact sometimes i'm so scared i want to just say "forget it". Yes, it could be awesome, but it could also be a total bust that could break my heart in two. As my first Dom/sub relationship, i find i'm very raw and vulnerable to him.

But i just have to go, i have to put my best foot forward. If i don't, this one will wonder for the rest of my days.

alpha1043
01-18-2011, 03:10 PM
I know how you feel. im a dom learning from a sub. i always feel bad when i have trouble but we love eachother very much so we do great. i have come a very long way
since she first confessed to her love of BDSM and now i do great

leo9
01-23-2011, 02:11 AM
Well, as it turns out the answer is, (at least for me) it didnt work out. I do feel i learned alot, hopefully i wont make the same mistakes again. I'm not sure though, that i could have prevented the mistakes i made, however, i do think we learn more from failure than from success, so i plan to take some time and process this failure, and hopefully next time (if there is one) be a better submissive, partner, and all around girl. Thank you all so much for your input.It could have happened just the same in a vanilla relaitonship. If anything, you've a better chance in a D/s relationship, because (as you've seen) plenty of Doms don't want a sub who (thinks she) knows it all, they'd rather start with a newbie and train her to suit them.

Good luck. In time you'll be glad you had the chance to move on and be found by someone more suitable.