Vanilla Life VS BDSM Life

[scarlet_85]

So, I'm somewhat struggling with this!

I have always wanted to keep my vanilla life separate from my BDSM life. I feel that they are two different worlds. I do not have the live in lifestyle, but there is definitely a love and Passion in my relationship with my Master. I am not into public humiliation or BDSM being pulled into my everyday activities. Lately, my Master has been enforcing his role by randomly throwing commands at me. I do not want to be a "brat" but I struggle with following commands when I am live the "normal" life.

I brought this up with my Master and even he admitted that he was struggling with Master VS Lover.

Any suggestions? I know we will have to find a happy balance. I'm just curious as to how others feel about this. Thank you for any feedback. :)

[denuseri]

I assuming that your reffering to a real life relationship here as opposed to an online arrangment.

Nothing says that you cant limit your bdsm activities to only certian hours and or certian days or on an as agreeded upon basis like "how about I be your sex slave on next tuesday from 2-4pm" type thing.

24/7 Totoal power exchange isnt everyones cup of tea.

[Snark]

That's what limits are for. Both must respect them. Perhaps you're a sub at home only. Or at specific times or places. Maybe later - maybe- you might be ready for 24/7. Or not. Until then, participate when it's comfortable. If you wish to push the limits at times for the thrill, communicate this. But forcing or intimidating or overstepping the agreed limits is a quick way to kill not just a mood but the comfort of the desire. If he can't control himself...he can't control anyone.

[scarlet_85]

Denuseri... yes this is a real life relationship. I have a hard time understanding online BDSM.

Shark... when I first started my venture being a slave, I wasn't expecting to find the Master that I did. We had a very close friendship for years and a slip of tongue exposed his BDSM side. I feel that we are both really happy and excited about our new venture. Me being an amateur and him having about 8 years of experience has made this a very fun travel. :) I understand what you're saying about self control vs controlling someone else.

As you both stated, I think setting up times when BDSM is acceptable is a good idea. I'm still trying to learn all the little rules to play, but at the same time my normal life has its priorities as well. Thank you both for the input.