reaching subspace?

[FaerieLytes]

so... most of you by now have seen my posts,most of them talking about my "vanilla" boyfriend, well this weekend He became something more, no i'm not collared yet, but its a possibility i entertain often... i cant go into detail without His permission but... He truly Dominated me over the weekend, i have NEVER felt like He made me feel those two nights. my body was tingling with numbness my ass on the other hand was in so much pain from repeated spankings... not as punishment but because i LIKE it X3 ... i have never been to subspace... or so i think, can anyone explain it to me? from my point of view i was aware and happy, at total peace... from His side i was unfocused far away and completely compliant and pliable ect... so i wonder, mostly because i like to know things... did i get there?

on a side note... has anyone else had trouble climaxing while "playing"? because i know for a fact that i can.. i do it fine on my own, and even in a submissive mind i can get there... i have a few factors that might play into it but im not sure... i have trouble trusting people but He makes me so calm i dont think its trust... i know He is new to sex but i am not... and He is doing everything that works NORMALLY... any suggestions on how to make it happen? ive already decided to bring my B.O.B. next time to help but if its mental then it wont work...

signed
~Fae, a surprisingly unsure sub

[scarlet_85]

I have only accomplished sub space once... it was during a hard play session. I think it was the most aggressive my Master has been thus far. After about 45 minutes of pure painful pleasure (on the verge of tears) I kind of went into a euphoric yet detached state of mind. I was aware of everything that was going on but I couldn't find my words. Responding with a simple "Yes, Master" was damn near impossible. We dabble in breath play and thank God he can read my body language. Shouting out my safeword of "Kashmir" was beyond my reach. I think achieving sub space is different for everybody. I feel that at that moment, I had accomplished being 100% submissive mind, body, and heart. He had me in his grip.

As far as climbing during play goes... I haven't had problems there. I'd say communicate with your Dom. Try new things and find out exactly what you both like. BDSM should be a fulfilling experience for both parties involved. The more you play, the more you'll figure out. I can't stress enough how important communication is.

Play well and always make sure its SAFE, SANE, & CONSENSUAL!!

:)

[didoanna]

I'm not sure it's really subspace but once I've been caned for being naughty, having the hugs and snuggles afterwards makes all the difference and all the tears don't seem to be that important anymore.

I've been bent over the kitchen table and caned for something serious when I've broken the 'house rules' but once it's been done I do feel much better and much happier, kinda like the 'slates been wiped clean' but afterwards I do find it a bit tricky to communicate which is why H&T are very keen to have me spend time with them having hugs or even just being on the sofa with them after I've been caned and had my time in the corner.

[FaerieLytes]

thats the weird thing... its not punishment to me, i LOVE pain, and the fact that my Boyfriend actually indulges my wants and needs is amazing.

[denuseri]

Here are just a few out of a countless number of links that deal with this type of topic that you may find helpful.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/14891-What-is-the-difference-in-subspace-and-orgasmic-space?highlight=space

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/21799-Sub-Space?highlight=subspace

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/721-A-question-of-space?highlight=cognitive

[FaerieLytes]

thankyou so much, very useful and great info :D