midnight.pilgrim
06-24-2011, 11:32 PM
sorry if this doesn't belong here - general confusion about sexuality ughhh
okay so basically the only current sexual fantasy I have (with a male anyways, females are a whole other kettle of fish) is one in which my male partner would be in bondage. I guess it's a control thing, but not in the traditional sense? The thing is, after the whole multiple-sexual-assaults thing, the only way I can imagine feeling sexually (and generally) safe around a male is if he has no capacity to control me or hurt me.
But, I also think boys look so cute when they are turned on and get that submissive, innocent deer-in-headlights look and basically do anything you want. And I love teasing guys to their limits - especially through sensory play... But I am only interested in males if they are attracted to me first and I picked up on their staring-while-they-think-I'm-not-looking or general batting of eyelashes.
idk what this makes me?
also, any recommendations on getting to the point of having sex like this? I don't have any partners currently, but if I had a potential partner, how would I bring up my preferences and comfort level? and would it be inappropriate to tell my partner that I've been assaulted in the past? I told my last boyfriend and I regret it so much because it made it hurt even more when he did.
H'anyways....
okay so basically the only current sexual fantasy I have (with a male anyways, females are a whole other kettle of fish) is one in which my male partner would be in bondage. I guess it's a control thing, but not in the traditional sense? The thing is, after the whole multiple-sexual-assaults thing, the only way I can imagine feeling sexually (and generally) safe around a male is if he has no capacity to control me or hurt me.
But, I also think boys look so cute when they are turned on and get that submissive, innocent deer-in-headlights look and basically do anything you want. And I love teasing guys to their limits - especially through sensory play... But I am only interested in males if they are attracted to me first and I picked up on their staring-while-they-think-I'm-not-looking or general batting of eyelashes.
idk what this makes me?
also, any recommendations on getting to the point of having sex like this? I don't have any partners currently, but if I had a potential partner, how would I bring up my preferences and comfort level? and would it be inappropriate to tell my partner that I've been assaulted in the past? I told my last boyfriend and I regret it so much because it made it hurt even more when he did.
H'anyways....