New to the concept, but wanting to learn!

[DoctorMoonwalker]

Hello there. I am new to this community, and also to the world of BDSM, so I figured this would be the best place to look for insight and advice on how to become more talented and comfortable in what I consider to be a really amazing thing.

I am with a very wonderful man that has expressed a real lust for being dominated. He has told me he wants me to use him as a love toy and use his body selfishly for my own pleasure. I am quite new to the concept of 'raping' someone (as he put it), so all I could really come up with was handcuffing him. I was more afraid of hurting him than anything, but the harder I yanked on the chains, the more turned on he was, so this let me know that he really wants me to truly dominate him.

I allowed him to do such things to me, and I was surprised to find out that I REALLY enjoy it, hence why I joined this site because I want to learn more! Being able to share this kind of relationship with another switch is extremely exciting and enticing, and lets me know that the limits are endless as long as we have creativity.


So my question to all you kind people is this:
What are the basics? How should I take learning these things into account? Are their rules I perhaps am not aware of?

Any input on this is SO appreciated. Thank you!

[scarlet_85]

First and foremost... Welcome :)

Basics? Well, I think of so many things when I try to answer this question. As far as learning goes... be open minded. And rules? Only rules that you and your sub come up with.

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse yet again but... Google every type of play you see/hear/come across. i.e. breath play, bondage, submission, domination, switch, edge play, collaring, knife play, blood play, Gorean lifestyle. Be sure to throw BDSM in front of all those for a more accurate finding. I have found that the Wikipedia search results have other BDSM links within them. Please keep in mind that none of the readings you find are set in stone. As you establish your D/s relationship and try new things, you and your partner will find what you do and don't like. You will mold your play based off of your own needs. We all share the same general interest, but I feel every individual D/s relationship is unique in its own way. By exploring the world, you will be able to set soft and hard boundaries. I reccomend reading the first post in the forum, The A-Z of BDSM. There are a ton of things in that thread. It is a closed post, but it gives short definitions of many parts of BDSM and if you choose to explore more, there is Google and of course this site. Also, COMMUNICATE!!! Don't be shy when it comes to playing!!! The golden rule (and you'll see it over and over and over again) is SAFE, SANE, & CONSENSUAL!

I apologize if that's a very vague reply, but BDSM has so many different areas. I wish you and yours happy exploring. :)

[scarlet_85]

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/16059-The-Glossary-of-BDSM-BDSM-Basics-Safety-Toys-Kinks-amp-Fetishes

This is the thread I was speaking of above :)

[DoctorMoonwalker]

Thank you so much, this is REALLY helpful! I am so glad that a forum like this exists, everyone has been very welcoming and kind, and I am learning so much and feeling much more comfortable in this community! :D

[Dog's Lady]

Make sure to check out the dominants', submissives' and switches' areas on the forum, too. I am mostly sub, a little switch, and learn a lot just reading what others post/ask about and get answered.