BDSM's Biggest Loser

[Silus]

I was reading this thread:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/25424-You-Will-Be-Controlled-and-Humiliated

I was reading this thread and noticed this male stated no big girls. If you look around you will notice we do have a fair share of overweight women in our lifestyle. Many of them wonderful slaves. I always thought it would be exciting to take on one of these subs/slaves looking for a RT Master. You can place her on a diet and exercise program. There would be punishment for certain things like failure to make weight for the month. In the end you would build this wonderful looking slave, that is trained in whats your style of leading.

Is this stupid or what?

[Lazerous]

If the sub is willing to accept this as impetus to improve their health...and they need the direction and discipline to achieve those goals...it might work. But doing this is a personal choice. They may wish to do this as a gift to their master as well as themselves. But you cannot beat someone into doing it. Either they will enjoy the beatings and continue to fail...or they will go away. Weight and body shape are a personal choice...every time the mouth opens...every time one doesn't get up and be active...it's a choice. If both parties share the goal and the sub/slave just needs help with will power...it could work.

[Ozme52]

IF the submissive WANTS to be exercised and trained and wants to be reshaped, sure, it can be a great relationship. But if the submissive only thinks s/he wants that or thinks it's worth it to gain a great master, there will be nothing but emotional pain and disappointment for both.

Secondly, even if desired, the journey is going to be hard on the relationship as anyone who is overweight, especially the chronically overweight, will tell you, failures are common and self recrimination intense. The most likely result is to end up with a broken subbie and a broken relationship. I'd rather have a happy subbie than a miserable subbie trying to get thinner.

And even if all goes well, the relationship will always be strained because of the actions and humiliations perpetrated by the demanding dominant on even a willing submissive. Pain and humiliation work in bdsm because of the sexual aspects... which won't happen in this context.

My opinion and even if I were into micro-managing my subbie's life, (which I'm not,) I still wouldn't enter into a body-morphing relationship... not without being paid like a professional trainer.

[denuseri]

So long as the dominant is leading by example I see nothing wrong with it if all parties are consenting.

This may seem a bit mean but the people I began with were actually kind real particular when it came to both the dominants and submissives keeping themselves in excellent physical condition as a sign of their self disipline and respect to each other.

[Silus]

I understand there is not just smooth sailing when trying to lose weight. You have to explain to the sub about the down sides, the slow weeks, its all part of the program.

Ozme said,"And even if all goes well, the relationship will always be strained because of the actions and humiliations perpetrated by the demanding dominant on even a willing submissive."

Humiliation is always going to be a part of the process, but it does not have to ruin a D/s relationship. I think there might be many sub/slaves out there who would benefit from a program like this. I think it would be wonderful to take a large woman and work her down to something incredible.

[delish]

I'll echo others when I say that it might work in certain relationships. I used to read a blog about a woman doing that very thing. For me, that's an absolute no-no. I love humiliation at a certain level, but due to past experiences, commentary on my weight, intellect, or eating habits are out of bounds. They are deal-breakers. I've struggled with eating disorders pretty much all my life. I've never been able to see my body as it is- I felt totally undesirable as a size 7 (dress size) 15-year-old. I also spent a couple of months eating one meal every other day, and not by choice (that didn't happen until later). One of the most back-handed compliments I've ever received was from a friend who told me, "You'd look like a supermodel if you lost a little weight." (He was a little socially inept, so I took it as a compliment, but barely.) I know what it is to have a loathsome relationship with one's own body.

The reason weight loss is so hard for so many people is that the approach to weight loss is scientific- calories in< calories out= thin!, which is true and works for some people. However, most people who are obese have the issue because of complex relationships with food. Food is tied into emotion SO much in our society- in the US, our seasons revolve around food. That's only ONE aspect of the issue.

Bringing the focus onto my weight is likely to make me obsess about it more. You couldn't possibly beat me up about it anymore than I already have. It's bad to kick somebody in their "weak" spots. Bringing it to a positive light will generally be a better approach, but I think it's exceedingly arrogant to approach a relationship with an eye toward "fixing" someone.

That said, it never hurts to give the non-standard beauties a chance because you see their diamond in the rough... and there ARE many diamonds. In defense of the guy who said "No big girls" or whatever it was, I'd rather know up front that weight is an issue before getting involved. I also know that some subs won't answer those out of principle, regardless of their size.

Very interesting topic, by the way! Sorry for rambling about personal stuff. I've just been on both sides, and I know what I'd be willing to submit to, or not.