Power Exchange

[IAN 2411]

Jane was standing in the lounge thinking of all the things she had said to her husband of ten years. She was facing the door realising that the options she had given him earlier in the day would change the way they treated each other for ever. She knew there were only three words she had to say to him when he walked through the door at the given time. She looked at the grandfather clock almost at the full hour, and the heavy ticking was all that could be heard.

The door opened and George walked through the door. It closed behind him as he stepped closer to her. As he was closing he was looking directly into her eyes. When a few feet from her he stopped as Jane pointed to the floor, “On your knees.”

In a flash, he was on his knees with his head lowered, unable to look back at her. George’s life passed before him leaving only anticipation and anxiousness. He had lost his freedom of choice, freedom of reply along with a certain amount of masculinity. This had all taken place with just one movement of his body.

Jane looked down in amused satisfaction knowing this was the ultimate power exchange. As if on cue, the grandfather clock chimed its six low notes.
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Ok, let’s be fair, that is fiction and dramatic, but power exchange is not. It can be forced on a person or it can be given freely.

How do you feel when this power exchange takes place? Is the exchange there all the time or is it there solely in role play.

What are the raw sensations when dominating, or being dominated? Or is this just too personal to answer?

The reason for asking this question is that some of you know I write both Fem/Dom and Male/Dom books, but I have to know the feelings of other people in certain circumstances for the story to look real to life.

Be well IAN 2411

[Dog's Lady]

When it's voluntary-I am giving up power to him, in a sexual situation-it's an amazing rush. I don't have to be responsible for running things, for keeping things going like I do in r/l. I am relaxed and energized at the same time, and I get full body shivers. Even though I have and would only submit to someone I trusted completely, there is still a tingle of, not fear exactly, but knowing that I have given him permission for, basically. It feels dangerous and totally safe at the same time.
To try to explain by example: lover/Master and I were together, in bed, very vanilla, and I was complaining, sort of wistfully-not a full-on bitching, you know?-that we didn't have any toys with us, to take the play up a level. The room was dim, but not dark, so I could see his face, his eyes. I am not into breath play-fine for others, just doesn't do anything for me. But l/M took his thumb and forefingers (or maybe first two fingers, I got kind of lost in the moment,) and grasped my Adam's apple. He used just enough pressure that it was firm, but came nowhere near cutting or even shorting my air supply, and looked into my eyes. I knew that he could, with just a little more pressure, take away my air, and with a little more, could have crushed my windpipe completely. I knew by the look in his eyes that he knew it, too, and was checking to make sure I knew. "Normal" people react to a threat like that by bringing chin to chest, to protect the area, but I lifted my chin, giving him greater access. Why? Because I also knew that he wouldn't do it-no breath play is a hard limit for me, and I knew he wouldn't cross that line. But feeling his strength, not just physical, but the strength of his power over me, well, if I had been vertical, my knees would have given out, and he would have had to catch. And he would have, then held me till he was sure I was okay, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I realized, and this did scare me a little, that he could have squeezed-hard enough to do damage-and I still would have left my throat exposed for him.
We don't do TPE; BDSM is a bedroom game for us, although we have talked about playing for a whole weekend, staying in role the whole time. But when we leave the bedroom (or bathroom, or living room, . . . ) Okay, to rephrase: when we leave the situation, we are equals, which means that I am better, stronger in some areas, and he defers to me; and he is better, stronger in others, so I defer to him. We respect each other as independent people. I don't want to live 24/7, but that sexual power of his is always there for me. I don't know if he understands how deep it goes; or maybe he does, and that is why he has been pulling away lately. There is a song by Evanescence called "Good Enough," and one line stands out for me: Be careful what you ask of me, 'cause I can't say no to you. I don't want him to run my mundane life; I am okay with the fact that he can evoke sexual, often submissive feeling from me at his will.
I hope that helps your book/writing. Good luck!

[ksst]

I feel totally incredible. It is the biggest high for me to be brought low, among all the things we do, either when he takes the power, when I give it up, or, usually, both at once. I don't know that I will explain it well enough to help you in your writing, but that is how it is for me- always feeling things and not able to explain them. As he walks into the room and I'm waiting on my knees, or he grabs me and forces me, in my head I have a feeling of "Yes, yes, yes, this, THIS, THIS" and I want it to be always and forever in that feeling. My knees get weak, I get wet, I feel at times a mist in my head. I can't maintain that high all the time; I don't know if anyone could. But as it happens as often as possible, and since it is always waiting there, just out of sight, and since he has the final decision in all things, although I may still express opinions and arguments, he decides ultimately whether to listen to me or not, and I am good with that, I consider that 24/7.

[denuseri]

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How do you feel when this power exchange takes place?

That all depends on who and how the exchange is taking place. Ive been on the receiving end of consensual and non-consensual activities before that were fun and Ive experienced kinds that make one wish they were dead. The kind of submission they invoke varies accordingly.


Is the exchange there all the time or is it there solely in role play.

Again that depends on a number of other factors but it's there as long as it is, no more, no less, some people will always hold dominion over me in one way or another and others can be described as fleeting at best.

What are the raw sensations when dominating, or being dominated? Or is this just too personal to answer?

It depends, when I'm topping another of my sex I must admit receiving some small satisfaction especially if it helps keep the faith with those who helped me earn my own stripes so to speak IE: if it helps further one of my potential sisters to following the path then it is good in my eyes. Personally however; character flaw or not, I feel dominating males to be repugnant even if on a clinical level I do not fault them for not being up to the task of keeping me in my place so I have a tendency to treat them differently.

When I am being handled properly I don't think about consent it just happens. Depending upon whats required of me, the situation and people involved I may simultaneously experience fear, fascination, lust, revulsion, humiliation, pride, or any other number of emotional responses. My focus goes to one thing and one thing only (being utterly pleasing) once I get past that dual maelstrom of thrilling turmoil. Reaching a sensation of helplessness is one of the critical steps on that path for me and when I manage to conquer my fear and surrender to my fate whatever it may be I find myself somewhat in a state of what I can only describe as serenity.

The reason for asking this question is that some of you know I write both Fem/Dom and Male/Dom books, but I have to know the feelings of other people in certain circumstances for the story to look real to life.

To better help with that sort of endeavor I would have to have much more specific situational parameters available.

[Misschief]

Power exchange is the apogee of arousal within the BDSM realm for me.. The pleasure of the exchange of power has to be complete, unadulterated, and either clearly consistent with the wishes of all parties or, for those truly adept, attained through begging, foreknowledge of what it is that gets the submissive(s) dripping, crawling, offering up all that they are and will ever be for the honor of serving... not to say that the arrangement must be a 24/7 type, or nothing..

But for those of us adept in the realm of TPE, there is nothing ..NOTHING more arousing than feeling the wetness creeping down my inner thighs, slippery beyond what I'd thought possible without being touched, leaking like a cracked bottle of Astroglide, all at the prospect of being permitted to suck cock; the only one I am desperate for.. but when I'm in this state, there is nothing I could refuse..

TPE takes over my mind, and especially my body.. All I want is to go further into his depravity.. I wait patiently, thankful for the bits and pieces I am blessed to endure..

[Dog's Lady]

Ian 2411--Listen to the song, "Good Enough" by Evanescence--the words say a lot of how I feel about submission. (Before you say it, Oz, I know that was bad grammar-but I couldn't figure out how to say what I wanted, and that mess came closest. Let me have a gimme on this one, OK?)

[sweetkitten]

I feel somewhat free whenever my Daddy/Master takes away everything from me. I am a woman with a strong personality, a tough ass armor on the outside, but a soft sweet sub in the inside. My work requires a lot of control from oneself. And there are times I have to show them who's the boss and in-charge. But once I step inside my house, Daddy would have me strip me bare naked physically, mentally and emotionally. He would take away all my control and power with it.

He keeps saying that I am his baby girl. And indeed am I. Once I'm a baby, it's not my job to think and be in control anymore. My only job is to feel the pleasure Daddy gives me. .

I agree with ksst. It is the greatest high for a sub. I feel light, free, and bare. And I love it.

[ksst]

And the other greatest high: last night, watching a movie on the couch and he grabs me by the throat, saying "I want to whip you" in that voice. oh myyyyy

[IAN 2411]

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to the thread, but i would like to thank everyone for their help. I now have someones experience of power exchange other than my own. It does help to have a broader view of certain elements of BDSM.

Be well IAN 2411

[leo9]

Ok, let’s be fair, that is fiction and dramatic, but power exchange is not. It can be forced on a person or it can be given freely.

How do you feel when this power exchange takes place? Is the exchange there all the time or is it there solely in role play.

What are the raw sensations when dominating, or being dominated? Or is this just too personal to answer?

The reason for asking this question is that some of you know I write both Fem/Dom and Male/Dom books, but I have to know the feelings of other people in certain circumstances for the story to look real to life.

Be well IAN 2411

Power exchange is fundamentally important to me, I believe it's the basis of everything I do in BDSM. The emotional rush when someone kneels to me or speaks words of submission is quite as much of a pleasure as any of the physical manifestations. One of the most important moments in my relationship with thir was the first time that, outside of any role-play or sex and in the middle of an ordinary day, she spontaneously fell to her knees at my feet.

I've written elsewhere of a moment when I realised just how much power in itself meant to me. I was playing with a femsub from my local munch while thir was away, and I'd made clear in advance that we weren't going to have sex, but either she'd never accepted that or what I'd been doing was too arousing and she started begging me to fuck her. And I realised it was no effort to keep my word: having this naked collared slave grovelling at my feet, humiliating herself in the helpless grip of a need that I controlled, was as much of a sexual thrill as doing it. In fact, giving her what she sobbed for would be less satisfying than keeping her suffering in my power. I'd had a lovely time whipping and torturing her before, but it's that moment of total control that shines in my memory.

I've only played at submission a few times, in strictly role-play situations, but being under the right person's orders is a thrill that makes me breathless before they lay a hand on me. But it's very rare that I can give someone that kind of control, and so far it's always been my choice. I occasionally enjoy the fantasy of meeting someone who'd capture my will so that I just had to submit to them, but I don't think it's going to happen in this life.

Do ask more, always glad to help a fellow author get the feeling right.